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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU in thinking that............

18 replies

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 07/04/2012 09:04

An Easter egg is enough?

Have brought DSC an easter egg each (the kind with an egg, sweets and a cup) they are 13 and 8.

7am this morning the phone rings and its DP's ex asking if he is giving her cash or doing a bank transfer for his half of their easter presents, he told her we had brought them eggs and that he wasn't going half with her on anything. She has brought them itunes vouchers, a dvd each and a PS3 game, AIBU in thinking that Easter is about chocolate and anything given is just supposed to be a token gift not cost £50 +?

Quick bit of background, DP and ex agreed when they split to continue buying joint presents so as not to get into the whole outdoing each other thing, however ex has a habit of spending a fortune and we simply can't afford it anymore, at christmas she spent £300 on each of them [shocked] so DP spoke to her and said that from now on we would buy the children presents seperatly she seemed fine with this.

OP posts:

featherbag · 07/04/2012 09:08

YANBU, I never could understand why children were bought presents 'for Easter.' It's never been a traditional gift-giving time AFAIK, just chocolate and maybe a new set of clothes from your granny preferably ones you wouldn't be seen dead in

UKSky · 07/04/2012 09:09

No YANBU. That is just ridiculous. Well done for standing up to her. I assume she doesn't discuss these first. Your DH should tell her that is she doesn't agree with him first she can whistle for any contribution from you.

Calamityboo · 07/04/2012 09:09

I do see your point, but an I also say that Easter is not all about chocolate, it actually a religious holiday! But yes she is going a bit far with all those gift, it is usual in our family any way to get an egg or 2, maybe a little toy for the younger ones, but not all that stuff!

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 07/04/2012 09:11

We always got eggs and a new "Easter" outfit.
I still do the same for my boys.
10 & 13 10 yr old is getting a new hoodie 13 yr old new trainers. I'll be getting my DSD something to wear as well.

But YANBU if it's not something you normally do!

MissMogwi · 07/04/2012 09:13

YANBU. One egg is more than enough.

What has she said?
If she chooses to spend that amount she shouldn't expect your DH to contribute.

Pastabee · 07/04/2012 09:14

YANBU. An egg is an appropriate gift at Easter.

Original poster

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 07/04/2012 09:17

calamityboo when I said all about chocolate I meant in the gift giving sense not that chocolate is what Easter is about, I didn't explain it as well as I should have [busmile]

OP posts:

EostreAngelofchocolateeggs · 07/04/2012 09:17

YANBU

SydSaid · 07/04/2012 09:17

My kids get an egg. Actually this year they are getting two.

If DP's ex wanted to buy stuff that DP was going to pay for she should have raised the issue beforehand, not as a done deal. Don't pay it.

DonkeyTeapot · 07/04/2012 09:19

I would have said one egg was enough, that's what we give to the nieces and nephews. I was surprised when MIL wanted to buy DD an Easter gift but assumed that it's because she's only 8mo so masses of chocolate wouldn't be suitable.

Calamityboo · 07/04/2012 09:23

Every other day is about chocolate though [busmile]

Original poster

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 07/04/2012 09:23

missmogwi she did her usual rant about how my DP doesn't care about the children and that if he can't be bothered to buy them decent gifts he shouldn't bother at all! Its fairly normal for this kind of thing to happen the day before we have the children (we have them from 2pm tomorrow until next Sunday).

FWIW my DSC are lovely and will be grateful for the egg and will not be bothered in the slightest that we haven't got them anything else so I don't actually care what the ex says!

We plan to hide the eggs and do a scavanger hunt with them, I'm fairly certain that the fun of finding it will be what they remember not the egg itself

OP posts:

Kayano · 07/04/2012 09:24

I got presents at Easter

I'm totally spoilt and a horrible person

Teeb · 07/04/2012 09:24

yanbu.

Did she even consult your DP before spending 'his' money?

squeakytoy · 07/04/2012 09:28

YANBU, it is Easter, not Christmas or a birthday. Absolutely no need for presents.

toddlerama · 07/04/2012 09:31

One egg is une oeuf.

MissMogwi · 07/04/2012 09:31

It sounds like a bit of control freakery to me. If he won't pay, he shouldn't bother with them? Wtf.

Good for him for standing up to her. Maybe she won't do it again.

Original poster

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 07/04/2012 09:42

Teeb no she told him after she had spent it, even though he had already said we weren't going half on presents anymore as the amount she spent at christmas was way beyond our budget

She earns more than DP and I combined and doesn't seem to understand that we simply don't have that type of money to spend.

I don't think she is wrong to have brought gifts for the children, as that Is her choice I am just annoyed that she is trying to make DP feel like a bad parent for only spending £6 on them when she has spent so much, in fact she probably wasn't even expecting him to pay half it was just her way of saying "look how much I've spent" she is very materialistic and I am the complete opposite so on this occasion I wasn't sure if I was just a bit out of touch and that an egg was no longer the appropriate gift but it seems MN agrees that I am NBU so I shall go and tell my DP that he can stop feeling guilty [bugrin]

OP posts:

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