for not wanting to pay sister this money...

[onelittlefish]

Also a bit of a wwyd.

My mum's birthday is just before christmas so my sister and I have always bought her a big present. Last year her big present cost circa £230 and as per usual we agreed to split it down the middle.

In the past when she has bought I always pay her back immediately because she is a bit of a tricky fish and I know that likely she would come back to me using any debt against me. Anyway, last year my sister bought and I (thought I) gave her the money. Now 4 months later she is saying that I never gave her the money and that I owe her my half. Now my problem is that I thought I had given her the money - usually she is honest (although splits hairs within an inch of her life). But it seems strange to come back now asking for it.

She was fine initially and said do you remember whether you paid me back? But now it is more of an "I am certain that you didn't pay me back". We both have young children and are probably prone to forgetting. What would you do if you were in this situation? and AIBU?

Btw, to be clear, it's not the paying her back now bit that is messing her around - I would think if you remember it, you probably did do it and you could check statements to find out what you withdrew.

It's the situation initially that I thought was a bit unfair on her. I agree it doesn't mean she gets to demand money when you've already paid her.

I used to do this with DB when buying DF's birthday gift. Once he 'charged' me £200 for my share of a sky subscription for our DF. I later found out it had been only £60 for the installation, and he'd got £50 of M&S vouchers thrown in for good measure on a 'recommend a friend' deal. Twat

Crikey everyone seems to have an opinion about who's messing whom about! Take it easy!

It seems to me you gave your sister 50 and then 60 and you now owe her a fiver.

End of.

Ask to see the receipts of the gifts she's bought......

AND buy your own gift next year.

Thanks everyone - I know I am a nightmare.

Doomcats - thank you for your perspective. It is actually quite useful to try to understand her side of things.

YANBU
I have had this kind of thing happen to me before (used to pay DD's swimming teacher in cash at the start of the month and twice she asked me for the money again. She did remember though when I told her the exact details regarding exactly where we were and what was said when the exchange occured. The money was alway in a labelled envelope, too!) and now try to only give people money via bank transfer.
I have also had people keep forgetting to give me money they owed me and in the end wrote it off.
Sounds like you know that you have given her £110 out of the £115 that you owed her but she is only acknowledging £50 of it. TBH I would be equally as irritated that she was going around spending more of your money than agreed.
I think, as she is your sister and assuming you can afford it, I would meet up with her and tell her again that you are convinced that you have paid her (again with the details you have told us) but don't want a few quid to come between you. Take £115 in cash, give her the £5 that you owe her from it and then ask her to take whatever else she thinks she is owed and then vow never to get into this kind of situation again with anyone.

The thing is, if you remember paying her, she can't remember you not paying her, can she? She just doesn't remember you paying her. But if you remember it, then it happened. But in your OP you seem to be doubting it- so do you remember it, or not?
Because if you are absolutely certain, I don't see what the issue is. Surely she's not accusing you of lying?

Do what chronic said.

It gives you the upper hand and never pay in cash again.

Well, if you remember paying her, and even the conversation you had at the time, then I think it's more likely that she's forgotten than you made the whole conversation up in your head.

Tell her about the conversation, that you definately gave her the money, but you think you still owe her a fiver, and that for next year, you will buy your own gifts to avoid this happening in the future.

I don't think one of two sisters doing the purchasing of a joint gift is messing anyone around or doing a favour - surely this is what happens in families and the person doing the buying is usually doing so as out of everyone they have the best opportunity.

yanbu, you remember the conversations.