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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think the ex has a whole city to choose from so he shouldn't be buying a house that I can see from my upstairs windows?

22 replies

workshy · 05/04/2012 23:49

he has told me today he is buying a house (yay, he will be able to have the dcs more)

however it is only 100yards from mine on the road that t sections with mine

we live in a big city, there are hundreds of carbon copies of the house he is buying, many of which are cheaper
he always used to say he hated the area when he lived here -so why on earth is he moving so close (and it's not to see more of the dcs, he had them 2 days this week, and went out leaving them with a babysitter both times)

I feel the need to move coming on!

OP posts:

Clownsarescary · 05/04/2012 23:51

OMG feel your pain my exh did this

ike1 · 05/04/2012 23:55

whaaaa? Madness!

AgentZigzag · 05/04/2012 23:58

'so why on earth is he moving so close'

Is he the type to play mind games/be controlling/intimidating/controlling?

AgentZigzag · 05/04/2012 23:58

Hehe didn't mean to put controlling twice - preview message...preview message...

Original poster

workshy · 06/04/2012 00:00

yes he is zigzag

and that is why I shall be seriously considering moving

OP posts:

stressheaderic · 06/04/2012 00:00

To make it easier to see the DCs/do school runs with them? To save on fuel picking them up etc?
Still bit weird though.

AgentZigzag · 06/04/2012 00:06

I had a close relative who 'threatened' to move to a house we could see from our window, and your thread title just gave me clammy palms.

It's the same as the whatever measurement it is for the personal space you have round your body, if someone steps into that it's wrong.

They can give all the justifications they like for it being a free country, they can live where they want, it has nothing to do with you etc, that doesn't negate how creepy it feels.

Your last post is what made me most angry about the situation I had, that I would be 'forced' to move

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2012 00:07

If he was renting a house I'd be more suspicious

But buying...well it's difficult enough to find a suitable, affordable property for most people so perhaps he's cursing the fact you live in the same road too?

Original poster

workshy · 06/04/2012 00:09

worra I could link to 10 houses that all fall within the school catchment area but aren't on my doorstep, have the same number of bedrooms, same out door space and are the same price or less

he has been 'looking' for 18 months so why this house and why now?

OP posts:

Original poster

workshy · 06/04/2012 00:10

I have to walk past this house to go to my best friends

shudder

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2012 00:11

Oh well in that case, wait til the sale goes through and then move out to piss him off

Original poster

workshy · 06/04/2012 00:14

worra you make me laugh

ooo putting a for sale outside mine would make me laugh but I'm not sure the dcs would appreciate it

OP posts:

FreudianSlipper · 06/04/2012 00:15

poor you

you will have to set out some very clear boundaries, there is no need for him to come to your house to collect your children now he is so close. of course if he wanted he could find somewhere that was not as close. i would hate to live so close to my ex, we only live 1.5 miles away that is close enough i do not even go out in his area as i would rather not bump into him (and we get on okish)

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2012 00:23

Oh but think of the fun you can have when the JW's, double glazing sales and driveway tarmaccers knock....I'm sure you'll think of where to send them

fedupofnamechanging · 06/04/2012 09:14

Is there a discreet way of letting the vendor know that he is a bad risk?

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 06/04/2012 11:21

How do you know he is a bad risk though, has he done anything illegal? I would have thought that was getting into dodgy territory, going to the vendors behind his back to badmouth him.

Whatmeworry · 06/04/2012 11:22

he has told me today he is buying a house (yay, he will be able to have the dcs more)

however it is only 100yards from mine on the road that t sections with mine

Maybe those 2 are connected?

Sposh · 06/04/2012 11:22

Gazump him then drop out of the sale at the last minute [buwink]

Hippychickster · 06/04/2012 13:21

My ex did this. Moved county to a town he didn't know, with no people he knew except us, and bought a flat down the road from my new house!!!

I really empathise.

Rachloui · 06/04/2012 15:24

I really feel for you. It's hard but I think you have to assume that he is insensitive rather than trying purposely to make you uncomfortable. Have you told him gently that its strange? or would that cause problems. Like one of the previous posts says...he doesn't need to come round anymore? bonus? Oh and if you ever run out of loo roll......lol

oldraver · 06/04/2012 15:52

Put For Sale up now before he completes even if you have no intention of moving

Original poster

workshy · 06/04/2012 21:01

whatmeworry

no they aren't connected and if they were, plenty of other houses near school but not so near my house

he will only be having them one extra morning which he could do from where he lives now but involves getting out of bed on his day off to drive them to school which is far too much trouble but I can already see him bringing the kids over on Saturdays when it's his weekend so he can go out, after I finish work at 6

OP posts:

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