To feel slightly peeved

[MariaCallous]

I had some friends round for a BBQ last week. They suggested that over the weekend we invite them and some other mutual friends to our house for another BBQ which initially I thought would be ok but dh wants to do something else that day. They have now invited us to theirs for a BBQ but asked us to bring our own meat. We have never asked them to bring anything to ours if we've had them round.

Aibu to think this is pretty cheeky. Btw we have no money issues but they are pretty well minted.

I thought it was normal to take meat to a BBQ. Host usually provides the salads, breads, extras and the guests bring what they fancy.

We don't do that for 'normal' meals, just BBQs so maybe that's why they have suggested it even if they haven't before?

Rereading your OP I'd be more peeved that they 'suggested that we invite them...to our house for a BBQ'!

Are you in the UK? Only the weather forecast is hardly congenial for a BBQ. Whether or not you bring your own meat. Something that's not uncommon, incidentally.

I've never been to or hosted a BBQ where you bring your own. The only exception would be fussy eaters or vegetarians who want something particular.

I would never expect to take my own food when invited to someone's house to eat. Plain rude.

It was cheeky of them to suggest to you that YOU host a BBQ.

You have said the day is not convenient and they have now suggested you come to theirs for a BBQ (on the same day?) and asked you to bring meat.

Bringing meat to a BBQ is pretty standard IME, it's just expected amongst the people I know.

However if they have never brought any to your BBQ then they are being a bit cheeky!

Bringing meat to a BBQ is the norm? People must think I am so uncouth , I've never heard of that. Me and OH would normally take drinks and/or a dessert, or possible some other delectables we thought others would enjoy. Though OH is now explaining to me how this is definitely the norm - in case of many people turning up and you're running out. Who knew? (everyone apparently...) But anyway, I would still not have thought anything of some one asking me to bring more meat along - it just seems like good manners to supply something. So on that count YABU.

It is not cheeky at all. Some expect it, others don't. Any time I've been to a BBQ I've always taken something, whether it's salad or meat or a potato dish or wine, since I was a teenager to be honest.

Yes we are in the uk. Why anyone wants to eat outside at the mo is beyond me.

Stranded, I know they are mortgage free with two good salaries (she is public servant, he and a friend went for same job and friend told me the salary, excellent for where we live).

I would never go to someone's house empty handed (they arrived here w nothing) and generally go overboard. But only BBQ I've ever been asked to bring meat to was huge event - 50 plus folk and perfectly reasonable IMO as it would have cost a clean fortune. Doesn't seem to be done thing here. It's more that they took our hospitality last week, didn't offer to bring anything, suggested they come again and didn't offer to bring anything and yet if we go to theirs they think it's reasonable to bring our own dinner.

I think it's a bit odd to take meat to a BBQ...I have taken dishes to Pot Luck type affairs but if asked to a BBQ I might take some drinks...desserts...not meat! I can't imagine arrving with a bloody parcel under my arm!

I always take meat to a barbie. Homemade burgers, sausages from the organic butchers, lamb or chicken kebabs I've made & marinated. I often also take a salad I've made. Plus booze.

Friends are never offended. We all do it. Share & share alike, the more the merrier, tuck in & all that.

Don't judge those who don't bring anything though. Only those who bring a packet of value burgers .

People who invite themselves around to your house a lot and don't bring anything sound a bit tight-arsed and not terribly good friends to me. Do they have a history of not paying for rounds of drink at the bar...!?

They are a bit like that. And he loves talking money. Sigh.