to think nearly £1,000 is too much for a child's bed?!

[threeleftfeet]

A very kind relative has offered to buy DS a new bed when he grows out of his toddler cot-bed, which will be fairly soon. this one

While on the one hand I'm delighted (and not half as much as DS would be!) it costs the best part of a grand! That's more than I think any of our possessions actually cost!

We spent less than that on our last car (about half as much on the one before.)
We're pretty skint atm. It seems obscene to spend so much on a bed! Our own bed was £300 and that was a luxury purchase for us. Most of our furniture is off ebay or from IKEA and cost under £40.

Would it be churlish to say "Thanks but why don't you buy a cheaper bed for DS, and spend the rest on some other useful stuff for him? Or put it in an account for him perhaps?".

That sticks in my throat though, it seems really unkind to turn a gift down.

I suppose I can see the funny side of DS's bed being the most expensive item in the house! I wouldn't resent it one bit, it just seems obscene! I didn't know you could spend a grand on a child's bed

WWYD?

i think if they have offered, and wont be expecting anything in return/using it as leverage, then you should let them buy it, or maybe chip in the amount you would be willing to spend eg. you give them £200 and they pay the rest?
Your son will absolutely love it! i know i would

Don't ask them to spend the difference on "other stuff" for your DS.
It will come across as extremely grasping.

I think I am leaning towards just letting them get it, although I think some research as bogey suggests is a fantastic procrastination opportunity a good idea,

There are no strings, it really is a nice offer with DS's best interests at heart.

We can't afford to put money to it - we already have a single which DS was going to have.

Dd2 got her new bed when she was 2 it's less than a year old and it had been drawn on within 6 months :(

That's a shame. How much got drawn on? Could you paint a design on that bit? Or the whole thing? Or stuck some pretty stickers that bit maybe?

I've seen the princess version of that in John Lewis store it was very sturdy, JL generally do good quality furniture and I had to practically strangle Dd with her reins to drag her away from the bloody thing so he will love it. I agree it would be more practical to get a cheaper bed and have the money in his account but unless your relationship allows it (like I could say that to my mum) then you can't really ask.

On another point though will he ever sleep? Will he fall out (my cousin junked one as he kept falling down the slide!) and can you remove the covers from the bottom for when he feels too grown up to have the theming and just wants a normal bed?

I think it would be rude to decline , they onviousky have money and are happy to buy it . When I was pregnant with my dd 9 years ago , a wealthy relative kept buying me expensive stuff . I asked her of she could just buy nappies as I was panicking about the cost . She politely pointed out it was her money and she would choose what she bought with it . Quite right too

We have a similar one for our Dss - from FLexa - it was about the same cost when we bought the first one with turret etc for DS 1 - we've been able to convert it through the same system into bunks for both Dss - not cheap but going strongs till and will last all they way till grown up as it's a full size single and the bunks can be split again.

If you're getting quality then I don't think it's too bad

We got that bed (also a gift) and ds loves it. I wish the kindly buyers had come round and made it though. That was a struggle. But it's a full size bed (I think. I haven't been allowed to try it!) so should last him forever. Because it's high up he seems to see it as somewhere to play and as a sanctuary away from it all, as well as somewhere to sleep. We didn't get the slide or covers though. No room.

He's played up there with friends and never come close to falling out. One side is against the wall.

I think a gift is a gift and as such accept with good grace. However if I was spending that much I'd want something that lasted for donkeys years not just whilst they were kiddies. My dad spent £1000 on furniture for me when I was 7 from the designers guild (it was a real fortune back then and a huge luxury for me) but it lasted me throughout childhood & adulthood and most of it is now in DS's bedroom being used by him, so doesn't seem such a bad deal.

I bought a really good one of eBay and made a pirate play tent for underneath, cost the grand total of 150quid plus a mattress we had already. I'd say go for it though if you have other children that will use it as they don't really have longer older dd would much rather bunk beds.

It does seem a lot to spend on a child's bed - but I don't think you can ask them to buy a cheaper one and spend the rest on other presents (or just give you the rest of the money ), that surely isn't how gifts work!

You could maybe say it seems too generous of them, and mention cheaper but nice beds, but as a way for them to save themselves money, not as a way of you/DS getting more 'free stuff'! In the end though it's their money to spend as they see fit.

Oh just read the end of your post, you mustn't ask for the difference that would come across as rude. I'd say just accept the bed graciously.

Really wouldn't get a Thukka bed, dd had a midsleeper one, it was a bloody nitemare, half the slats were too short and we were often called in the night to help rescue the poor bugger. If that's what they've offered then go for it, tho you can get ones that can be shortened for when they're older, that may be a better option.

I am going to sound like a ponce, but please let them buy an expensive bed, preferably one without the slide and other bit that make it less suitable for a teen.

we are not rich at all, and for years slept on falling apart beds. i began to realise that whenever i slept on a half-decent one at other people's houses i felt about 15 million times better rested. we saved really hard, and spent a lot of money (approx £1200 including mattress) on a really good bed. to put that spend in context, the rest of our house is argos/ikea/freecycle, and the bed cost more than both of our cars put together, and more than our last 3 family holidays put together. it's the most money i ever spent on anything at all, and i'd do it again in a heartbeat, as i feel so much better for it.

we managed to get dd1 a really good bed in the JL sale. we hope that she won't ever need another one, perhaps just a replacement mattress in 10 years or so.

Is his room big enough? He's not going to go whizzing down the slide and straight into the wall?

Sorry I think YABU. Yes it is a lot to spend on a child's bed. But there are lots of things where you can buy ridiculously expensive versions. I would be tempted to say something like - it is very generous of you, but we would be just as happy with a less expensive bed. And then if they insisted, let them buy it.

I would also vote for a super comfy bed over kiddie style. A bed that will last maybe with a few drawers for storage underneath, then the best mattress you can buy, great pillows and matteress protectors etc.. And they will never need another bed.

Maybe a double if space as then can be used by guests etc later along the road

I guess it depends whether you really want the slide or not? (it would irritate me!)

I think it's awkward to accept a gift which you think is a bit of a waste of money, but it's also difficult to suggest a cheaper bed and something else.

We bought this bed from M&S and I do think it's good value: www.marksandspencer.com/Sleep-Station-Bedstead/dp/B004N8QJ78?ie=UTF8&ref=sr_1_3&nodeId=431472031&sr=1-3&qid=1333614051&pf_rd_r=17CKJBXMG2RDRD7G4JKZ&pf_rd_m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_i=431472031&pf_rd_p=215570647&pf_rd_s=related-items-3#CustomerReviewsHeader

The advantage is, that it is still a bed they are buying (and slightly cheaper) but you get the other furniture with it. If you take the desk out, which you really have to, you still get a kind of den underneath. DS has a beanbag under there and likes to hide with a book.

Also, M&S assemble the furniture for you whereas the JL one is self-assembly!

Reckon DS woud much prefer the one with a slide!

I was looking at the John Lewis one last week in the store in Kingston (idly window shopping as DD much too little for a bed yet) and like you thought ouch at the price. But the quality and finish is absolutely lovely, really solid. Obviously I dont know what others are like, but compared to Ikea stuff for example, it is really nice quality.

I'm not intending on asking for the difference!

I was considering suggesting they buy a cheaper bed and spend the remainder on some other stuff, but I'm not going to do that now.

I know where that impulse came from. As some of you will recognise all too well - and others will have no real inkling of - as money is tight right now, every time I hear a price of something I think "is it worth it? Could I get it cheaper elsewhere? DO we really need it?". My brain is used to going through this process every time I buy something. So when I'm presented with a large sum of money for a non-essential item, my brain is instantly doing the maths and working out how better to spend that money! It's ingrained!

But, having thought about it, of course I can't suggest that, it's her money to fritter not mine to spend wisely!

Similarly I don't think I can suggest sensible super-comfy over something that DS will adore, I don't thisk that's the game here! I think my relative wants to enjoy DS absolutely loving her gift and knowing he plays with it lots (which I'm sure he will).

softlysoftly, scattergun and Lambzig, it's good to hear that's it's good quality (I imagined it would be).

CharlotteBronteSaurus that makes a lot of sense.

wonkylegs that's lovely :)

I doubt this bed will make it to DS's adulthood, but we'll definitely pass it down if this TTC lark works! (And/or to friends with DCs).

I've decided, we're going to accept with grace, say thank you and forever make jokes about how it's the most expensive thing we own

I balked when I saw the price but it's OK now I've thought about it.
I think I could get used to spending large sums on things regularly if I had to. It's not so bad after all is it?!