Am I Being Unreasonable To Want This To Stop? (sorry long story)

[AngelWreakinHavoc]

Firstly Hello as this is my first thread waves

I will try my best to explain best I can... Ok here goes..

I have been with My partner for 4 yrs, He has a 4yr old son and I have 3 children from a previous relationship (2 youngest live with their Dad, Eldest lives with me and partner).
For the last 4 yrs My parner has had trouble with contact with his son, His ex is very difficult and will stop contact whenever she can (she wants him to always go to her house with her for contact), We have been to court 3 times now (as a last resort) The first time My Partner was allowed access through a contact centre every fortninght for 6 weeks then it was agreed that over night stays would come in place after that, As soon as it came to overnight contact the childs mother instantly refused which meant we had to go back to court for the second time, The court was not happy about her breaking the contact order and told her that My partner MUST have contact as the court decided, They agreed then that fortnightly overnight stays were to remain, He is allowed him every other birthday and christmas, A week in the summer and 3 extra days over easter. The third time we had to go to court was regarding some medication the Childs mum had told my Partner to give to him, When he showed me the bottle it was clear that these antibiotics were 3 months out of date so I told him not to give them to him , Again she stopped contact saying My partner was not responsible to look after her son, I took a picture of the bottle as I knew it would be needed for court, Again the court told her that My Partner has PR and he did what was best for his son and under no circumstances must she break the order again. Now it is Easter and we have plans for all the kids to go away and she is refusing to let my Partner have his son for the 3 days the court has ordered she is also saying that he can not have him for the week in the summer as she has to pay childcare (which the court told her last time was not relevent).

A few other points I must add are as follows
For 2 yrs solid she constantly called ,text abuse while drunk from 5pm to early hours of the morning every night disturbing my kids at weekends especially
Her son was born with a hole in his heart due to her exessive drinking through her pregnancy.
She lied to the court about My partner taking drugs, domestic violence and anything else she could (everything in court was proved a lie, drug tests etc)
Every time the poor little boy comes to stay he says things like 'My mum says I'll get bored coming here' My mum thinks Your new parner is a bitch' 'My mum says you hit her'
He told my 6 yr old son 'You cant be My best friend because my mum says she is my best friend'

We were also contacted by a friend of hers a few months back who informed My Partner that she went round there and had to remove the little boy from his mum as she was too drunk to look after him.
And to top all this off she is a social worker and should know better than to be alienating a little boy from a father that loves him very much.

Again all this week it has been constant phoncalls with no one at the other end, constant txt messages and abuse.

Any advice would be much appreciated as I am at my witts end with this woman, I love my partner dearly and his Son is a little Gem but I really dont know how many more years of this I can take :(

I hope you are keeping a record of the abuse/texts/calls?

Not sure what the courts can do if she keeps refusing to comply?

Is there any chance your partner could use all of this to go for full custody?

The biggest concern here is that someone had to remove the child because she was drunk.

She was obviouly not happy about her relationship coming to an end when she was pregnant (presumably) and she hasn't coped with it very well.

The out of date antibiotics really concern me. Had he been prescribed them?

Can your partner apply for full custody? She sounds like a very bad mother. Poor little boy

I really feel for you OP, I think you should speak to a solicitor about obtaining full custody, she us obviously bitter and barking mad.

Antibiotics concern me, were they prescribed for DS? She sounds awful but the situation cannot continue.

Good luck!

Thank You everyone I was not expecting replies so quickly so left comp :)

We/I record every text/phoncall etc as I know its only a matter of time before it is needed.

The antibiotics was a strange one really as the name on the bottle was the same initial and surname as the mother and although the child has the same initial as his mum his surname is the same as my partner (another reason why my partner did not give it to him). The mother's reason for this in court is that he now uses her surname.

When My Partner and her were together they were never in a proper relationship, He had just been left by his previous partner of 17 yrs (an affair) and she was a mutual friend who 'comforted' him.

She is very bitter about the fact he is a sucessful in his business and she was recieving £50 per week off him since the baby was born she then decided that if he didnt give her more money she would stop him seeing the child and go through csa (who then decided he would only have to pay £35 per week) She resents the fact he just does not want to be with her.

I really wish I could speak to her about how much she is hurting her child, He is not a pwn her silly games!

Although She uses a Solicitor at court My partner does not have/use one. I write all his reports for him and he Stands solo in the court.

Can you apply for full custordy?

If he has PR, why didn't he take him to a Doctor instead of just stopping the Anti B's?

There is nothing stopping him from applying for full custody but in all honesty She has drummed it into his head that she is a social worker and the court will always believe her over him, we do know through experience that this is not true but we have also read up on internet that in these situations there may be a chance of him not getting to see him at all if the mothers side is taken?

WorraLiberty, The reason my Partner did not take him to a doctor was because it was a sunday when this happened and on the day in question he was only in our care for 5 hours so it was only one dose which he missed. (but imo that one dose could have been lethal with his heart problems and low immune system).

Another point with the meds was that The mother told us it was prescribed to him in spain whilst on holiday, The label on the bottle was from a walk in centre 40 miles from where she lives. I forgot about that.
just reading this back I realise something has to be done other than what we are doing!

I find it very scary that this woman IS a social worker and in charge of other peoples lives (so to speak) She works with mentally ill young people!

Not sure what you can do Angel, other than get lots of legal advice. The priority shouldbe the litle boy. thismight be more than you and dp can deal with on your own.

Get a good family lawyer, who can advise you, dp and the mum calmly and properly. It might be in everyone's interests to have joint custody, that gives her time to go out get drunk, and the little boy time with a proper family. It doesn't need to be all or nothing.

She does sound bitter, and i'd be wary of using her as a social worker!

Maybe we haven't heard the full story though - why do you only have one child living with you & why is the Dad not able to decide for himself about his son's welfare re out of date antibiotics?

I think you need to take a back seat tbh & leave the mother & father to sort things out - ime your involvement may well be making matters worse.

Oh & 35 pound a week is a paltry amount of child support for a man in a successful business!