Was I insensitive?

[familyj]

I posted on facebook about the 2nd Anniversary of my miscarriage. However, another friend has just announced her pregnancy on facebook. (1 day prior to my post)

"I wouldn't want to see posts like that. There are some people who feel that they should be able to tell all and sundry anything and everything... that's not really ok with me."

so you hide the posts rather than tell people what they should and shouldn't be posting about on their own wall.

I don't tell anybody what to post on any forum - I'm giving my opinion on this one on this subject.

I don't think everything that goes on in life is for public consumption - again, my opinion.

neither do i. but remembering the loss of a child isn't one of those things. as i said, ou can hide posts that you dont want to see but that doesn't mean OP was insensitive to post it in the first place.

Your status has nothing to do with her status, imho. They are respectively important markers in your lives but they don't jinx or have anything to do with each other. Nobody should feel compelled to check all their friends' recent status updates in case you post something that seems to jar with what they just said. That would be absurd.

Commenting on the other's status with your own situations would be weird, but otherwise FB's just a kind of very-random-bits notice board all mixed up in weird ways.

Assuming that you didn't reply to her post or her to your post then they are separate posts and as such I wouldn't think too much about it.

I might suggest that you think about how she might be feeling right now and reminders of the worst things that can happen might not be very helpfull. If she is a close friend I would personally refrain from mentioning your loss, just to avoid any upset.

For me, grief is a private thing, so I wouldn't advertise it on f/b.

booyhoo: FB is not reserved for good news only.
People can post whatever they like but as others have said, I can read a lot of stuff posted by F of F and I don't know these people.
I actually think FB is a feel good/ frivolous site. I wouldn't expect to see serious announcements on there.

yes a bit insensitive sorry

"I wouldn't expect to see serious announcements on there."

that doesn't mean serious announcements shouldn't be there just because ou wouldn't expect it. people use FB in different ways. for you it is a feel good/frivolous place. for others it is a vehicle for promoting a business, for some it is to raise funds for charity or awareness for a cause, some people use it to chat, some use it to get support, some use it in part or in whole to remember their lost family and friends. just because you wouldn't expect to see an appeal from a childrens' charity, doesn't mean they are wrong for doing that.

I agree with Booyhoo.

If the OP had posted on there about the anniversary of the death of someone else in her family, it is beyond me to think that many people would be saying to her 'I don't know why you posted about that on Facebook'.

I wouldn't announce such a thing on FB either, but if OP feels it helps her deal with the anniversary then all Power to her. It isn't about anyone but her.

Blimey promoting a current charity event and remembering a miscarriage is not really in the same ball park is it or is that just me? I guess the OP will know better how her status update was received by her Facebook friends I would guess a lot of them felt very uncomfortable. I just have never come across such a personal update before. As we say though each to there own.

You think THAT is personal! This thread has reminded me of something my dh showed me . . . the wife of a friend of his put on her fb that she was at the hospital having a miscarriage, all the details, everything! As it was happening! She always puts VERY personal stuff on there so its not that she was in shock or anything, this is what she does.

The worst thing was that when she first posted that she was in hospital people did the usual Oh what's up thing? And some put silly remarks and jokes not realising it was for something actually serious.

So then when she went into all the detail of how she was having a miscarriage and about blood clots and details of her periods and the pain etc, it made those who had made jokes look awful. How were they supposed to know! You don't expect it!

I found it very strange but each to their own.

Yes that is just awful poo! I had a "friend" on Facebook an old school friend who kept posting cryptic messages like " life is a game and no it's GAME Over" naturally we would all say oh my God are you ok is everything alright? She would ignore us and the next day she would post a funny clip with roller blading babies saying LMAO check this out. I told her to get some help and de-friended!

"Blimey promoting a current charity event and remembering a miscarriage is not really in the same ball park is it "

where did you get the idea that i said it was?

"people use FB in different ways. for you it is a feel good/frivolous place. for others it is a vehicle for promoting a business, for some it is to raise funds for charity or awareness for a cause, some people use it to chat, some use it to get support, some use it in part or in whole to remember their lost family and friends."

i specifically said that these things were different. that was the point of my post, to show that people use it for different things and that OP was using it for a reason that was different to what others might use it for. nowhere did i say miscarriage and charity promotion were the same/similar/in the same ball park.

some people really only see what they want to see.