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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To quit my job?.............

19 replies

helpmechangemylife · 04/04/2012 11:43

OK, have name changed as some people in RL know me under my usual nickname, but I need your opinions!

Here goes......

I currently work 26 hours a week, over 2 nights as a carer with adults with disabilities. I have done this job for just over 2 years. I like working with the people I support and generally enjoy my job. HOWEVER, working nights is starting to really affect our family. I have two dc. dd is 6.5, ds is 4.3.

I am tired all the time.
I get ill more than I used to (endless colds, throat infections, headaches)
I miss my dc at night.
My dc miss me at night.

I am currently looking for other jobs doing similar work but better hours.
It would be a financial struggle for a little while until I found another job as we are repaying a big loan each month which is taking a lot of dp's monthly salary, but that is due to end in Jan 2013 and we will then be £500 a month better off. We would cope though, would just mean we have to cut back (alot).

We would not apply for any benefits (currently just get child benefit as we have lost our pathetically small amount of tax credits we used to get).

I would be able to concentrate on applying for more jobs. I am currently so tired that when I am not working, sleeping, looking after the dc, I am planning on when I can grab my next nap.

I know there are a lot of people out of work who would do anything for a job and probably think IABU. My dp wants me to quit as he is worried about my health. He is fab and does so much around the house and with the dc. He says he would rather we have less money, but be happy and healthy.

I am worried that I might not get another job. I am worried that we will struggle finacially more than we anticipate. I am worried that when applying for jobs it will go against me on applications when I say that I gave up a good job because I couldn't cope.

Sorry this is so long, didn't want to drip feed!
Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 04/04/2012 11:45

Well to be honest, if you can afford to give up therefore increasing the quality of your life then yes do give up, sounds like it would be better for all of you!

I am sure you can get another job in the caring capacity, maybe better hours for you?? I have a neighbour who works for an agency and she says they are always looking for carers.

MissFaversham · 04/04/2012 11:46

OP if it's affecting you so much then yes, give it up. You say you can just about afford to and know what it will mean financially. All this "you have a job" how dare you want to change it" makes me cross.

scuzy · 04/04/2012 11:49

we work to live not live to work (well thats show it should be) so if you can, and your quality of life will increase and your not looking to benefits to pick up the lost wage then go for it! and good luck.

DairyNips · 04/04/2012 11:49

Nothing is more important than your health and your family. I would quit till I found better hoursSmile

PurplePidjin · 04/04/2012 11:50

YANBU at all, could you switch to days with your current company? I know loads of people who have switched between the two, and generally the training is pretty much the same.

Original poster
helpmechangemylife · 04/04/2012 12:33

Thanks everyone.we can just about afford to do it as long as I do get another job fairly soon.

Have asked my manager for different hours, but none available at the moment.

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 04/04/2012 12:36

I'd probably try and suck it up until the loan was finished, just so it didn't prey on my mind hanging over us so to speak. If you can live with it being there though, go for it. I know round here, about the only available jobs are for carers, so if it's like that where you are you shouldn't have much difficulty in finding a new job.

LydiaWickham · 04/04/2012 12:40

OK, well in the short term, could you get signed off sick for 2 weeks and spend that time recovering/updating your CV and e-mailing/talking to recruitment consultants?

See how you feel after a rest when you've have chance to 'recharge' and have at least got the ball rolling re getting a new job.

redskyatnight · 04/04/2012 12:41

I think I'd be realistic about my chances of finding another job and what my hours might be. I'm assuming (have friends working in a similar field) that you are paid more for working overnight than you would for the same hours during the day? If so, you might end up working more hours for the same money and missing out on seeing your DC (say) after school etc.

I think I'd consider taking some leave (if you can) and recuperating and then thinking about the future situation rationally from a "not totally worn out and knackered" point of view. Could the family cope if you didn't find a job in the short term? Would this just replace one stress with another?

Chilenachica · 04/04/2012 12:49

Don't tell a prospective future employer that you couldn't cope. Find another way to say it, just don't use those words.

I agree that your health is more important and lack of sleep can have a huge impact. But as has already been said, try to keep going until the debt is cleared.

olgaga · 04/04/2012 12:50

Well it's obviously affecting you and your family, I don't think you'd be unreasonable to give up at all! You might find that with more time you can economise and budget a bit better anyway. Do check your entitlement to benefits. This is a useful tool for that - in fact this website is brilliant for all financial matters:
www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check

I would start looking at other agencies, there do seem to be plenty of jobs for carers (depending where you are) and hopefully you will soon find more suitable hours even your earnings are reduced.

Don't feel guilty about giving up your job - raising a family is a valuable job in itself and I'm sure the whole family will be a lot happier if you are less pressured and tired all the time.

RedHelenB · 04/04/2012 12:52

It's not that long till January - keep looking for jobs but personally I wouldn't quit yet if you have debt that needs paying off.

Original poster
helpmechangemylife · 04/04/2012 12:55

I have asked to take annual leave but we are too short staffed at the moment. I only took half my annual leave last year as we were so short staffed :(

Ds will be starting reception in September so I am also wanting to get my career back (Im used to work in a slightly different line if work before I had dd). I am looking at jobs similar to the work I used to do, but being realistic and looking at going in at a slightly lower level. The hours would be mon-fri and not shift work so we would all have the weekends together as a family.

I'm worried if I take some sick leave it will affect my chance of getting another job.

I'm so confused.

OP posts:
Original poster
helpmechangemylife · 04/04/2012 12:57

Lots of x posts! Will just catch up! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
helpmechangemylife · 04/04/2012 13:02

Yes, Jan isn't far away, but I feel dead on my feet. If it wasn't for this loan, it would be so easy to leave.

Maybe I should apply to a carer agency to get some work while I apply for permanent jobs. At least I could choose more suitable hours.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 04/04/2012 13:10

Sounds like a plan

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 04/04/2012 13:49

Being a money worrier, and given the fact that £500 is quite a big sum each month, I would probably carry on with the job if it fits in with your life (saving childcare fees etc) until I got another job. I would look for ways in the meantime to make the job have less of an impact on your day to day life, for example working on a Friday night when your DH will be home the next day so that you can sleep all day if necessary.

Like Pombear says, chances are there are lots of care jobs around in your area anyway, and you could probably pick hours to suit you. What sort of hours would you choose instead of nights? Weekends? Or school hours?

Original poster
helpmechangemylife · 04/04/2012 14:23

I have just emailed my manager and told hime that I really need to have some time off work. Just got to wait and see what he says now......

I would not tell future employers that I cannot cope, was just being a bit over dramatic there I think, but you can see what I mean.

I am applying for better paid jobs with better hours. They are at a higher level to care work, but a slightly lower level than I used than work at before I had dd. In the mean time, if I did some agency work in care I would be happy to do any hours, including occassional nights, but I would be able to pick up shifts that fitted in with our family and dp's work commitments a bit better.

Just had a chat with an local agency and they have said they will take me on :) Going to meet up with them tommorow to organise crb, refs etc and hopefuly start in the next week or 2! That's decided! Once I start with the agency, I will hand my notice in! :) :) :)

Thanks everyone! :)

OP posts:
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 04/04/2012 14:43

That's fantastic, I'm so glad you managed to get something sorted. Agency work sounds ideal for your circumstances.

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