AIBU to demand my "wages"?

[bjf1]

After a lot of crap from my DH.......my money ,your money, that kind of thing, and a scary letter from Tax Credits stating that, apparently, I am receiving wages from DH's business, I decided to play hardball.
I used the company debit card to buy online delivery of food from supermarket. DH is pissed off that I have done this. I pointed out to him that, as I was classed as earning a wage from the business (which I never actually received), then all I was doing was taking my wages from the company account to buy food.
He sees his money as his and, even though he has basically screwed me over in the past, I am at the stage now where I think enough is enough.
Yes, he pays the mortgage (house in his name only) and the council tax, and the gas and electricity, (which he would have to pay anyway even if living here alone) he never contributes to food, petrol, clothes, toys, etc.
I figure that, if he has me down as an employee, then I am entitled to take out my wages.
Or AIBU?

I think you need to go and speak to a solicitor to be honest. Why on Earth is he telling them that you're receiving a wage when you're not? Sounds very dodgy to me.

YANBU. If he's telling HMRC he's paying you, he should do just that. Please check he's paying NI too, or you might have a shortfall when you retire.

I know it's really common to put your spouse on the pay roll, but come inspection time, he'll be caught - happened to a friend of mine.

It is presumably some form of tax evasion on his part, and theft if you are properly compenstated with your 'wages'

Remind him of the illegalities of his actions (and seriously reconsider your relationship with this man at the same time)

Does he have any redeeming features?

Exactly, come inspection time....except it's me that's been caught, not him. I am left with a pittance to buy food and clothes for DCs. He claims that "what he does should have no effect on us". He has always refused to hand over, or share his wages. Fair enough, he pays the biggies, but he would have to pay them anyway, np matter wher he lived.
It just feels like me and DCs are "lodgers" in HIS house, and we should be very bloody grateful for it!

Don't want to scare you but you do need legal advice.........and quickly.

My friend had a similar situation to you. Her husband's business was very successful and they had a great lifestyle until he left. She then found he had remortgaged the house (without her knowledge as her name wasn't on deeds) and drawn money from the business. All that money went with him vanished, their home was repossessed and she was not eligable for any benefits or help as he had her down as earning a wage but had never paid any tax or national insurance for her for over 2 yrs.

She has gone to hell and back. Please get advice to safeguard yourself, she would never have expected this to happen to her.

I think you need to seek legal advice about this.

What cornflowers says.

How is this relationship a partnership?

Seriously, you need to see a solicitor. I wouldn't wait as his can of worms is starting to open.

No, the can of worms has opened....and me and DCs are the one's worse off.
So I decided that I would take these "wages" and use them for groceries. DH cannot believe that, as he has been in colussion with his accountant, i am left struggling to pay for food, petrol, etc.
Why does he refuse to put money towards the food bill? He bloody eats it too.

REport his accountant to HMRC.

That'll put the fear of god into him.

He should not be doing this and the book will be thrown at him if he is colluding in this, knowing you won't see any money.

The first thing you need to do is call Women's Aid. Partners who use money as a way of control are 'abusers'. He may not be hitting you but his behaviour is not acceptable. You then need to see a solicitor. It sounds like he's committing tax fraud so it's in your best interests to seek legal advice.

Your husband is a class a dick.

Sorry OP.

I really hope you seek help.

To turn it on its head, I am a shareholder in my husband's company, and "my" dividends come to me, and are reflected in my tax return (as I am legally responsible for the money.) I do keep and administer the money for the good of the family (e.g. filling up the DCs' savings), yet I don't legally have to; I could spend the money on shoes and handbags if I wanted to.

That exercise of trust and responsibility is the way it's meant to work, OP; yours is a dangerously dysfuctional financial situation . Definitely get legal advice: it's very wrong to keep you and the DC short like that, not to mention fraudulent to abuse your allowances like that!

Agree that you need to call women's aid.

You're being financially abused and the issue of these "wages" isn't the big issue here.

Sorry, just to clarify that when I said "abuse your allowances like that" I meant tax allowances. Everyone is entitled to earn or receive a certain amount every year before starting to pay income tax, so what your husband is doing is keeping more money for himself tax free, which he isn't entitled to do, as you haven't consented to it, and are not gaining any benefit from it (and he wouldn't be able to do this if you were to divorce him!). If people were allowed to do this willy-nilly, we'd have tax-evaders setting up teams of "tax zombies", to make use of the latter's tax allowances without the zombies' getting anything!

You see? He is messing around with real, legal issues, and you can get the law involved: not just divorce law but HMRC (stealing your tax allowances).

Shit, I really hope I haven't given anyone ideas with the Tax Zombie suggestion!

Do you work OP?

Do you have any money of your own?

Have you sat down with dh and shown him, clearly, that his calculations don't work out and that you do not have enough money for food shopping ie basics?

Have you got access to any of his accounts ie do you know how he is managing 'his' money and is not behind on repayments or that he's taken out another mortgage or loan?

Why is your name not on the house deeds?

I am very worried for you to be honest and sorry you are in this horrible situation.

I agree with everything everyone else has said - seek legal advice and speak to WA.

OP, my circumstances are similar to yours, in that I get paid a wage from DH's business for "tax purposes".

Difference between you and me though, is we don't have a dodgy accountant and my DH is not trying to screw me over my "wages" come into our joint personal account, I have access to them to use as I want, they are declared to the HMRC as my wages as I am self employed and I pay self employed NI contributions, which has meant that I qualify for different benefits such as Employment Support Allowance when I was ill and Maternity Allowance because I don't qualify for SMP. I'm also able to spend on the company credit card as I see fit and am not questioned about it. providing I don't book a holiday in the Bahamas

If the HMRC wanted to do an audit, they can see a clear paper trail of exactly where the money goes.

THAT is how your "D"H should be handling your "wages" from his company.

Like everyone else has said, get legal advice ASAP and speak to WA.

It is not tax evasion, it is tax avoidance and very common. The spouse gets "paid" by the business, to make use of their tax free allowances. This is usually in return for a genuine service to the business but, tbh, not always.

What is not usual is the fact that you don't actually see that money op That is where, IMHO it becomes dodgy on many many levels

This man is a controlling bully. He just happens to he using money, not his fists to abuse you

I would go and see someone about it

Reporting the accountant to HMRC is ridiculous! At the end of the day he has suggested to your husband how to do something in a tax efficient way. The end decision, and therefore responsibility, is your husbands not his.

It is common for spouses to be paid wages by a company, and in past times this often used to be a paper exercise with no actual money paid.

In order for it to be legitimate though, the following should apply:

1. The spouse actually does some work for the company and that work should be paid at the going rate. I.e. you can't pay your wife £50ph for admin when you'd pay a stranger £8ph.

If investigated, HMRC will check for evidence of spouse actually working in the business, eg emails from her, signature on docs etc

1. The wages should actually be paid over, even if it is to a joint account. payslips should be provided to the spouse.

1. It is normal not to have NI or tax to pay as the wages are set at a level high enough to count as the 'stamp' for basic benefits but not high enough for NI and tax to need to be paid.

So, the situation is fairly common, what isn't common is the fact you don't know about it and are kept completely controlled financially.

I understand you wanting some mony out but best to take lump sums than pay for groceries. Highly messy for private expenditure to come out of a company bank account as regulations are a lot tighter for limited companies than non incorporated businesses.

Good luck with sorting out your finances. I would insist that he pays you the wages you supposedly earn or stops putting them through the company.

Tell your arsewipe DH that he needs to start treating your relationship as a partnership, not a dictatorship. If he doesn't like that, ship him out.

Hate to say it, but I agree with all replies on here. (Never thought I'd say that).
Need to sort this out asap.