Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

odd behaviour from a man?

18 replies

wantanewname · 03/04/2012 22:17

an ex of a friend of mine (and someone I know through friends) got in touch with me on FB. I hadn't seen him for a couple of years since he moved to London but he's moving back to where I live. He asked me for a coffee with lots of xxx's etc. I couldn't make that date but he asked me again and I met him.

He is very good looking but has a bad track record of losing jobs etc and he hasn't got a job at the moment so not a great catch really.

Anyway, got on fine. He then suggested he come round to mine with a bottle or two of wine one night. As I don't know him that well and am not a huge drinker, I suggested we went out instead. He said he'd prefer to stay in drinking as he didn't have much money (again not very appealing really!)

Last night had a mutual friend over at mine and she called him and asked him over and he made some excuse not to come. Then I texted him today to ask how he was and when he didn't answer asked if I'd annoyed him in some way. No answer, so I guess the answer is yes but I can't think of how???am I being a bit dim??

OP posts:
claudedebussy · 03/04/2012 22:19

prob if you're not going to enable his drinking or be a quick shag he's not interested.

Hassled · 03/04/2012 22:19

I doubt you've annoyed him, but by not wanting to stay in drinking and instead suggesting going out, he may have interpreted that as you saying "I'm not interested in shagging you", and so has lost all interest.

LeBOF · 03/04/2012 22:19

He was asking you out, realised you weren't really up for it and looked down on him a bit because of his job status, so doesn't want to pursue it further. That's what I'd take from it.

Original poster
wantanewname · 03/04/2012 22:20

yes, probably that but she invited him over here so that would've enabled his drinking (and for all he knows a quick shag - but not in reality).

OP posts:
LeBOF · 03/04/2012 22:21

Or he was hoping for a shag. Depends if he is a wanker or not really- hard to say from what you've posted.

Casmama · 03/04/2012 22:21

Maybe he was interested in seeing how things went with you but has now met someone else. Either way it doesn't sound like you were interested anyway so I would forget about him an not text again.

corriefan · 03/04/2012 22:25

Sounds like you had a lucky escape, you'd be subbing his drinking before you knew it.

FunnysInLaJardin · 03/04/2012 22:25

thats seems a bit odd TBH. You fancy him sort of but know he's not got a job and drinks at home so not really interested. Then your friend Confused sent him a text asking him to come over and he said no, then you asked him by text what the problem was and he didn't reply.

I would guess that he twigged that you are not interested and is rather Confused that your friend and you are now seemingly pursuing him.

What is it that you actually want? I for one have no idea.

In a nutshell what BOF said really, just I am not so succinct

Original poster
wantanewname · 03/04/2012 22:27

I suppose I was testing the water in that I do find him attractive and he is good company. He has plans for when he moves back here so him not working doesn't put me off him but I would be put off by an evening staying in drinking as a 'first date'.

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 03/04/2012 22:30

You say he 'made an excuse' not to come round - maybe he actually had a valid reason for not coming round that night. He might have been with a friend/unwell/in the middle of repainting the kitchen. But like Funny said, what do you actually want from him? You don't appear to think very much of him after all.

Figarello · 03/04/2012 22:30

Were you looking for a potential date/shag or a good candidate to employ?

I would take from it that initially he was quite interested you and now no longer is. If he was still interested, he would call. It sounded like you weren't really into him anyway, so I wouldn't sweat it.

Cabrinha · 03/04/2012 22:30

What's odd?
You had a date, it was fine.
He suggested a reasonable evening at yours - you didn't want to.
He refused an invitation from your mutual friend for what could have been any perfectly un-odd reason.

Then today you text and when he doesn't reply TODAY, you're texting asking whether you've annoyed him? If a guy did that to me, I'd think 'needy, much' and strike him off the list. Tbh, I think your texting was the odd behaviour!

pictish · 03/04/2012 22:32

What cabrinha said. Totally.

Original poster
wantanewname · 03/04/2012 22:33

I didn't want to come across as needy! We kind of know each other as friends so didn't think it was that odd to text him asking that.

OP posts:
notmyproblem · 03/04/2012 22:40

Sure sounds to me like he wanted a shag. Any man who really wants to get to know you wouldn't suggest either he brings a few bottles of wine at your place, or not see you at all. Hmm

Count yourself lucky.

Original poster
wantanewname · 03/04/2012 22:45

thanks notmyproblem that's why I didn't want him to come round here with wine. The reason I texted (twice) was because I was disappointed if that's all it turned out to be because I do actually fancy him (and quite like him).

OP posts:
Original poster
wantanewname · 03/04/2012 22:46

not anymore though!

OP posts:
SmethwickBelle · 03/04/2012 22:57

Maybe his nose was put out that you'd had a friend over to the house one evening, but had refused his suggestion for the same thing?

Or maybe he just hasn't checked his phone today.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page