to think I should be allowed to whinge about the downsides of parenting....

[RedHotPokers]

without it meaning that I don't love my DCs!

My 38w pg cousin had a bit of a go at me today, apparently for being negative about having DCs. I was a bit as AFAIK I had not said anything of the kind. Nothing said along the lines of 'omg having DCs is a nightmare, your life will be over', or anything at all aimed at my cousin.

But apparently I quite often whinge about being a parent. I do have the odd whinge now and again about how I haven't been out for a night out with DH for 3 years, or how I'd love to have a duvet day, or how the DCs have been hard work for one reason or another.

Apparently I focus on the bad rather than the good, and she never hears me saying how much I love them or how glad I am to have DCs.

I feel really pissed off about this, even though I know she's probably only saying this because she has some pre-baby nerves. Of course I love my DCs - I tell them so all the time - I just don't pronounce it on FB! I would never want to be without them, but that doesn't mean I don't wish I could have a minute to myself now and again.

AIBU to think you should be able to have a whinge about the not so good aspects of being a parent, without being accused of not loving your DCs FFS!

YANBU... but maybe don't say it to her any more? Talk to someone more sympathetic. Resist temptation to reciprocate when her baby arrives and she has a bad day :)

Well she has had the ideal picture broken yet has she. Smile and try to talk about other things for a while.

OK will have to try to more positive I guess!

She'll learn...

Before I had kids I sang in a choir with a lovely lady, who was mum of two kids. Several of us were slightly shocked when we went on a weekend tour and she practically skipped about the place, celebrating how wonderful it was to be away from her children for two days.

"But don't you love them?" all us childless people cried.

Now I am the one skipping about when I get a rare weekend away with entirely grown-up company. And I think of her fondly and love her for her honesty!

I fully empathise and sympathise - I was shocked to my very core about how hard parenting can be.

But sometimes I think we do need to keep the negativity in check, especially around other people, if it is a bit relentless, and rarely mitigated by positive comments as well. I'm not saying this is easy - I have to make a concerted effort myself!!

Maybe it is time to think about the good stuff a bit too, as much for your own sake. Meant in the nicest possible way. :)

YANBU at all, your cousin seems like my mum.
if I mention being tired/stressed/worn out etc with the DCs (14 and 12) then she comes out withs tupid comments

yanbu we all whinge and if somebody says they have a wonderfully blissful fluffy cloud life then they are fibbing just dont speak to her anymore about your children its tempting to be smug when she moans because she will , but just smile and sympathise ,

But don't you love them

Someone said that to me once when I was having a whinge about the kids holidays. I was more concerened with the children in the street as we didnt live in a nice area back then. I was very taken aback by that and quite upset. Its not a nice thing to say, but can totally understand why those not in the know will say it.

TBH I get fed up with all those FB statuses about how great x, y or z is or how much they love their kids.

I had my first and only two days off when my in-laws were out staying with us a couple of months ago, and met up with a childless friend for lunch and was practically giddy from the break of it all, and in hindsight am worried that he probably thinks I'm the worst kind of uncaring mother.

Don't feel bad. She will understand evetually. Only too well.

to think I should be allowed to whinge about the downsides of parenting....

Never to anyone without children -you can't imagine 18 years of ceaseless work and giving until you've done it.