To think that it makes sense for my teenage DS to have the big bedroom while I have the small one

[CrockoDuck]

Today I was told that he was "spoilt" because of this.

It's just the two of us and we have a flat with one big room and one very small one.

He (15) spends loads of time in his room and has mates over etc. Has his Xbox, TV, desk for homework and loads of DVDs & games etc.

Sadly for me, I do nothing in my bedroom except sleep so I've squashed my double bed in (just fits) and some clothes rails and have everything I need.

So what's the problem? Why, because I'm the grown up (even though he's bigger than me now) should I automatically get the bigger room? And do you think this means he's "spoilt"?

It makes perfect sense.

No, it's what we did when we moved to our current house. We had the smaller bedroom because it had a fitted wardrobe and DH and I had the most clothes. But it worked out well because DS has all his stuff in his bedroom while we have all our stuff in the living room.

Exactly Maryz!
DD is 10, and so far would rather be in the living room with me, but I will be moving soon (I hope, currently in temp accom), and I'd far rather give her the big bedroom, so she can go there with her friends, than give up the big (only) telly with Sky and access to the kitchen.
I really don't spend any time in my room either, I go in it to sleep, and get dressed, that's it.

he doesnt sound spoilt it sounds practical he will have his tv etc in his room so needs bigger space , bugger what anybody else thinks ,

Is he planning to go to university at 18? If he is, you only have three years of this anyway, don't you?

I think he needs a room big enough for his friends to visit - there's not much point in you having a big bedroom and him taking over the living room, is there?

You're being a good mum and being practical, too.

Ooops - I did mean Tatty!

Sorry Tatty :)

Everyone's so used to agreeing with Hecate that they even do it when she hasn't said anything. And rightly so.

I sleep in my room. The Dcs spend hours in theirs. Mil told me it was a stupid and ridiculous thing to do. She says things like that a lot. I just ignore he old bag!

I let a house go about 6 months ago that was perfect for me in every way apart from the second bedroom which was too small. It wasn't until about a month after that I thought actually I could have had the small bedroom as all I do is sleep in there and my DS could have had the big bedroom which was massive. It would have meant he could have had friends over and I wouldn't have had to gone and sat in my bedroom. I kick myself even now that I didn't buy it as nothing else as good has come on the market since at that price. I think it's a very sensible thing to do. As someone said eventually I could have had that bedroom (when he was older and had his own place).

Yes, saggy, my mil assumed that my Dd1 would get the biggest bedroom of the 3 available for my DCs, but we thought it should go to ds (the youngest) as he needs more space for Lego, cars, scalxtric etc. Apparently there is some bedroom hierarchy which we should be attending to.

It probably is the practical thing to do but, as I'm at the other end of the teen thing with my kids, one thing that is very clear, especially in hindsight!, is that, as confuseddd says, teens get dangerously close to paying too much attention to the pecking order. Like you said, he automatically assumed that 'master' meant he was master of the house LOL. I never thought this would be an issue but ime both my boys and girls started vying for top dog during the teen years - and the fight can be deadly. I'm glad I'm not in your position as I just wouldn't have been able to do it because of the powerful jossling for position that went on - frankly, frquent attempts at an all-out coup! I teach teenagers and it is astonishing how all it takes is for the boundaries to slip the tiniest bit and they're in like lightening, crouching in wait to take over. I kid you not. And they're nice kids...

Sounds right to me too. Whoever said that your son was "spoiled" is interfering, frankly.