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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To collect Reception age DS from school in a buggy?

313 replies

CoffeeMum · 03/04/2012 16:23

Theoretical question for now, as DS won't start Reception until September, but i'm just wondering...

I also have a DD, two years younger than DS, so she'll be in a buggy on the school run. I'd planned to pop her in the single buggy, with DS on foot [school is 15 minutes away from home]. We do also have a double buggy, which I was on the verge of getting rid of, but now I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to take the double buggy on the school run in the autumn. Sometimes it'll be raining, and we'll want to get home asap, rather than at child-pace Hmm, but mostly, because I think alot of the time during the first term, he's going to be shattered from starting school. On those days, i'd just pop him in the buggy.

However, would it be completely laughable to even think about putting a school age child in a buggy, no matter what [SN aside, obviously]? Do any of you put a Reception age child in a buggy, or know people who do? Is it very rare to do so?

Thanks for you thoughts all Smile

OP posts:
IsLovingAndGiving · 04/04/2012 09:50

Flightty
Isloving...yes, that's possible but I doubt it would be caused by her allowing her child to go in the buggy. Perhaps it is more the family's attitude in general that worries you. It would be part of a much broader picture in that case, no?

I didn't suggest for one minute that it would be caused by her allowing the child to go in the buggy and it is in fact the whole attitude to which I am referring. But, that is exactly the point... the child is capable of walking (as he has demonstrated), but he was almost held back by the parents' assumptions that he was not IYSWIM.

Coffeehouse I don't see a problem with the odd buggy ride really, but you're not actually expecting him to walk far and I'm sure he'll manage it fine, especially on a scooter. There was one occasion at the beginning of rec when my son had a tantrum on the way home asking me to carry him. I told him I couldn't as I was pushing the baby in the buggy - he moaned / cried most of the walk home... but has never, ever done that since. He knows he has to walk and so he walks / runs / skips / scoots home. If you allow your child in the buggy he may try it on regularly??! Just a thought.

Flightty · 04/04/2012 10:37

You did suggest that, Isloving, when you said 'it could have been a very different story' if you hadn't intervened and convinced her to let him walk.

That's all I meant. It sounds like the story will be what it is regardless of this one event, if the family is programmed to think that way. I agree it can be undermining for a child not to be believed in.

Pull - well, you said you wouldn't send a child to school if they couldn't walk there and back, or similar to that. I was explaining why I had decided to compromise on this point. Your opinion is valid as is mine.

Sorry, we didn't go out yet.

bronze · 04/04/2012 10:57

This idea that it sets them up for a life of laziness is complete and utter rubbish.

Maybe a lazy attitude fullstop does but not letting your child have time out when it all gets too much doesn't. The people with the laziest attitudes tend to drive anyway

pohara · 04/04/2012 11:00

Goodness I had no idea this was such a hot potato.

My dd started school at 5 and rode part of the journey on the buggy board. Steep hill, 15mins at adult pace, 25mins at small child pace.

Never, ever occurred to me to worry what anyone else might think. Surely it is about what works best for the child and parent?

bronze · 04/04/2012 11:06

I don't get why a buggy board is better. You're still pushing them, just to more discomfort to yourself, mine used to kill my back.

I realised I used my wagon in the same way. Someone who needed it could hitch a ride, people could pile all their paraphanelia into it and on occasion they would pull it themselves. It also fitted 3 small people if necessary.
But if you have a double pushchair it makes sense to use that rather than spending more money

Babieseverywhere · 04/04/2012 11:07

I usually take a single buggy on the morning school run and my double on the afternoon run, just in case my 3.5 yo needs it on the way home. Better to be prepared than not !

Works fine for us. TBH after the first term of attending school nursery, he very rarely needs the ride home but those first few weeks when he was literally crying all the way home as he was so tired..it was a god send.

DS is now walking back and forth with no problems, which is good as his new sibling will need the second space in the double by September.

YANBU take your double buggy in the afternoon.

ariadne1 · 04/04/2012 11:09

MY DC wouldn't have been seen dead in a pushchair at 3, let alone 4!!

Babieseverywhere · 04/04/2012 11:14

Just to add, I did find the only people who negatively commented on me putting my nursery aged DS in the buggy at the end of the day, were the mums who drove door to door between home and school. Hmm

As I spend a minimum of an hour a day walking to and from school in all weathers, I don't see my DS as being lazy...far from it. I know my DS is a good walker but he has limits and as the OP said some days you just need to get everyone home as quickly as possible.

everlong · 04/04/2012 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pohara · 04/04/2012 11:17

Anyone who is rude enough to comment negatively about how you choose to transport your own child is someone whose opinion you can safely ignore. Wink

funkybuddah · 04/04/2012 11:27

Walks to and from school are a great time for him to form friend ships and I met one of my best friends because our ds ran with each other and we walked a similar route.

What about your youngest, will you wheel an empty buggy up to reception when they start?

forevergreek · 04/04/2012 12:09

Eldest is current 2.3years, youngest 10 months., eldest hasn't been in a buggy since youngest was 2 months! Cannot for the life of me imagine them being in a buggy at 3 let Alone 4/5!

Youngest isn't even walking alone yet but I'm looking forward to 6 months time when we can go out buggy free.

We probably do min 5 miles a day walking broken up into manageable chunks, only have use of car at weekends.

I seriously think lack of walking is a huge cause of obesity and general unfitness these days. Even a slim child/ adult can be unfit.

Being able to travel anywhere without lugging a buggy is fantastic ( we shall fly tmz with baby in sling, toddler using his feet :)

Op your plan sounds good.

Pancakeflipper · 04/04/2012 12:17

No. My DS1 has to walk 20mins up hill to school. Buy good waterproof trousers and a good Winter waterproof coat. The walk home is the time my son tells me all about his school world.

elliejjtiny · 04/04/2012 12:29

I think I'm going to print this thread out and take it to DS2's appointment with wheelchair services. They think DS2 won't be laughed at if he goes to school in September in a SN buggy. I think he will and should be in a wheelchair.

I walk 6 miles a day on the school run (9 on the days DS2 goes to preschool) with a nearly 4 year old and a 14 month old in the buggy and 5 year old walking. However if driving was an option I'd do that and when DH takes DS1 to school he drives.

CecilyP · 04/04/2012 12:41

You must have an absolute champion child, forevergreek, if s/he has walked everywhere from 19 months. Some lesser DCs aren't even walking at all at that age. Give yourself a round of applause!

everlong · 04/04/2012 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AThingInYourLife · 04/04/2012 13:57

"They think DS2 won't be laughed at if he goes to school in September in a SN buggy. I think he will and should be in a wheelchair."

Shock

The bastards.

I hope you can get him what he needs :)

Flightty · 04/04/2012 14:04

Pancakeflipper, just because a child is in a buggy (or in and out of one) on the way home from school it doesn't mean you don't get to speak to them about their day.

We just got back from a walk into town. I bought them something to eat, got a few bags of shopping and then we met ds1's friend and some other children from school with their parents. So we all went to the park.

We stayed at the park for about an hour, they ran around, were fine. Then we had to walk home, again up the hill.

Ds2 cried all the way. It was awful, I couldn't carry him as I had three bags already and he wouldn't stop. He kept sitting down.

I ended up thinking, I wish I hadn't taken them to the park. They had a lovely time but there wasn't much energy left to tackle the long walk home.

THIS is what I am saying. If I'd had the buggy we could have done the park without the awful misery afterwards. I wish I'd bloody taken it now but after this thread this morning, I thought we ought be able to manage without it.

Was it worth it not to be laughed at by total strangers? No, it wasn't, especially not for ds2. Perhaps we should just have come home without playing with their friends. Perhaps we should ditch school as well, and just do the walk there and back instead of tiring him out with actual learning and fun.

Priorities.

Sirzy · 04/04/2012 14:07

But the more you do it the more he will get used to walking. He may have tantrumed but he made it home which shows he is capable of doing it and just needs time to get used to it.

everlong · 04/04/2012 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flightty · 04/04/2012 14:10

Yes, YES he needs time and to be a bit bigger and stronger. Of course he does.

If we did this every single day he would still find it hard work. It's a blooming long way and a very steep hill.

He's not even five!

everlong · 04/04/2012 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bronze · 04/04/2012 14:11

Flightty just do what you need to do to make life enjoyable for your children
All this getting used to it stuff is a pile of crap.
Don't let people get to you.

everlong · 04/04/2012 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flightty · 04/04/2012 14:13

No, he was fine at the park because he hadn't already walked a really long way. And because he was having fun. That's an incentive. A long hard walk home up a very steep hill AFTER a big run in the park is just too much.

I'm not being had. I don't believe that children are innately manipulative. He cries when he feels bad, not because he thought it would make any difference. He knew I couldn't carry him. He just couldn't walk any further.

But he had to push himself as we would have been stuck otherwise.

That's not the same as being stroppy because it was a walk he didn't want to do. It's different. He was really tired. I'd have carried him if I could.

Fwiw Ds1 made it absolutely fine, and so did I, we went slowly. Ds1 has been brought up in exactly the same way, I have never pushed him to walk when he was clearly tired. I don't think it's fair to. And now that he can walk fine, he does. He even carries ds2 sometimes. And he's not obese or lazy.