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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off with snooty shop assistant in Selfridges in kids clothes dept...

107 replies

blighter · 03/04/2012 15:19

twas' similar to the scene from pretty woman. i love going to selfridges with dd, we like a good mooch & to have lunch in the 4th floor restaurant. dd wanted to have a look at the clothes in the childrens section so i obliged although not my scene, dressing kids in designer clobber, so it was a mooch. tbh i enjoyed looking at the price tags, unbelievable. anyway, the lone women assistant was giving out vibes that i irritated her. she may as well come up to me and said 'fuck off, we don't want your kind here, it is obvious to look at you that you aren't going to buy anything'. she came up and no sooner had i let go of the price tag to one garment than she had immediately tucked it back in. i don't dress in a typical way of alot of females that shop there, rebellious but i tend to dress down rather than up when i go there. i do like good labels but not for a 9 year old, no way (each to their own). i am sure that if i had been dripping in prada & dior she would have been full of smiles/arse kissing. makes it all the more vile

OP posts:

veritythebrave · 03/04/2012 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 03/04/2012 15:59

YANBU at all...

I needed some sunglasses last year, and as I drive a lot, it is important to me to get decent ones, and I also had a bit of spare cash and fancied treating myself.

I thought I would give our local opticians some custom rather than venture into Kingston to Sunglass Hut... so I wandered into the shop, smiled at the miserable looking woman in there and said "do you sell sunglasses"....

Her reply..

"yes, but only expensive ones" as she looked me up and down as if I had trod shit into her shop..

"oh excellent" says me... "have you got any Chanels"....

"no" she says...

"oh never mind then... I will go and find a proper shop" and I slammed the door behind me... toddled off to Sunglass Hut and spent £300.

CountryMouse27 · 03/04/2012 16:00

I just think that its this bit

"rebellious but i tend to dress down rather than up when i go there"

So you knew it was a smart shop with expensive clothes that they try to make appeal to people with a larger disposable income, than say me, but you dressed down anyway.

I've experienced this before (being a bit of a skint chubster) and felt really sad that I hadn't dressed more nicely, and hence avoided such shops in future.

Original poster

blighter · 03/04/2012 16:29

i can see how i look as if i am contradicting myself, my point is that i don't naturally dress 'up' but i know i am 'supposed to' by going somewhere like selfridges, this annoys me. i am not going to dress in a way that isn't natural to me just because i am expected to if i want to be treated half decent. i wasn't deliberately dressing in way that would make me stand out but i knew that by not doing so i was being rebellious although not intentionally, it just is that way, i won't conform, not for a store, only for something really important like ie a wedding etc. i consider myself a selfridges shopper in as much i have been buying there for years, we have disposable income but it isn't obvious, not everyone likes to be showy and want people around them to think they are wealthy, some people are quiet about it. i just bought two pairs of jeans in there, if they want to treat people with disposable income well then i am one of them. and i think they should treat everyone well, money in their pocket or no money. i am a trader and have people picking up my stuff who don't but it all the time. sometimes someone buys somethign who i didn't think would, you get it wrong but i am always friendly to people whether they look like they can afford to buy something off me or not. I don't mind people touching my stuff as long as they show respect ie if it is a vintage toy, don't over play with it and ruin in

OP posts:

CountryMouse27 · 03/04/2012 16:41

I get your point blighter really. It seems that you're cross about how people judge you by your dress universally rather than just in Selfridges.

It just seemed a bit harsh to pick up on the sales lady in the shop when perhaps it was just the most recent example.

I do agree you shouldn't be judged on the way you dress but everyone is in some way or another throughout their lives. Its called first impressions.

I would suggest that if you're feeling fed up of being treated like that then you dress more appropriately for your circumstances next time maybe.

PooshTunTheTrollFeeder · 03/04/2012 16:41

blighter - Sales people, whether car salesman, estate agents or high end sales assiatant, know time wasters when they see one. If I turned up at the store at which you buy your clothes in my M&S clothes no doubt I be regarded as some square that wasn't going to buy anything and was just going to mess up the assistants display.

So my vote

Yes the assistants in other posters post are snobs.
No the assistant in your post isn't.

cornflowers · 03/04/2012 17:42

Snooty sales assistants, waiters et al always amuse me. Perhaps it's because they spend so much time in the company of the well-heeled that they come to imagine themselves as part of that milleu... and end up looking down on their betters equals.

Original poster

blighter · 03/04/2012 18:43

poosh - how did she know i was a time waster, i had just spent * on jeans one floor below & i didn't mess up her display, i gently touched a few items hanging up that were at the front of the rail, no moving of hangers, the only thing i did was to flick out one price tag to which she quickly put it back. unless she can read minds she wouldn't have known what was going through mine. i have bought a few prada bags there over the yeards and have always noticed how the sales assitant that served me always seemed somewhat taken back when i actually bought the item that i had asked to look at. i see where you are coming from but i don't agree, you weren't there, you by the sounds of it would possibly treat people the same judging by appearances. i think people should be treated the same regardless of what is or isn't in their purse

OP posts:

AlpinePony · 03/04/2012 18:52

Yabvu to think you read her mind. You've made up all sorts of stories and scenarios in your head so that you can post here and feel self-righteous - but you've no evidence.

Original poster

blighter · 03/04/2012 18:56

alpine - i'm not self righteous, i don't like people being snooty towards me. i am not stupid, i could smell ner snootyness a mile off, i am well enough travelled in mixing with people to know snootyness when i see it, i didn't just hop across from another planet. it was as plain as day the way she was although i didn't have the pleasure of actually talking with the woman, thank goodness. she made me feel uncomfortable and i could tell she didn't care that i knew it. what stories and scenarios? i commented on how her behaviour made me feel uncomfortable and i didn't imagine it, i didn't suggest something that is so totally unheard of, there are alot of snooty judgey people, especially on here :)

OP posts:

StringOrNothing · 03/04/2012 19:00

OP, if you'd just bought 2 pairs of jeans did you not have a flipping big yellow bag with you to demonstrate that you were not a time waster?

I suspect that the faces you made as you turned over the price tags of the children's clothes (probably the same ones as I would make myself) gave her the totally reliable impression that you were not about to spend three hundred quid on an outfit for a ten year old.

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 03/04/2012 19:03

I've had some brilliant funny looks on the tube, wearing skinny black jeans and an old leather jacket, long black hair and a handful of earrings, doing the Times crossword!

AlpinePony · 03/04/2012 19:16

The "stories and scenarios" are what you've decided she was thinking.

You don't know what she was thinking.

She won't give a shit what you're up to this evening, why don't you take a leaf out of her book and do something more interesting instead as opposed to ruminating over perceived flights lest you find yourself having imaginary conversations with service staff.

Original poster

blighter · 03/04/2012 19:16

string - i did have a big yellow bag but she was definately disapproving in her looks towards me. i didn't pull any faces when looking at the tags, i am more descrete than that. even if i had, i am still allowed to look and touch the garments. the nose ring DEFINATELY gets reactions from older straight types. it has been there for years and i forget that it is there but it definately makes some people treat me differently. i like it and won't take it out so that some judgey straight types treat me as they would a women dressed up without one. i am a trader and deal with the public all the time. most are really nice or just decent/not rude, i have equal time for them regardless of what they look like or how much or little money they look as if they might have in their pocket. i don't look like the type of person that you would expect to spend alot of money on clothing despite the fact that i just had but i wouldn't spend silly money on childrens clothing.

OP posts:

Original poster

blighter · 03/04/2012 19:18

alpine - i am enjoying myself, i can type on here if i like, if you don't like it don't read my posts :) & bugger off

OP posts:

Sootie · 03/04/2012 19:20

DH and I took DD to Selfridges to use the loos once after a trip to Winter Wonderland! We couldn't find the women's toilets and got lost, somehow ended up in the men's section so I took her to men's and changed her nappy in there! When I came out there was a model-esque shop assistant who smiled at DD and then noticed the massive lollipop in her hand and started to look a bit worried! Another one followed us around to the lifts incase she rubbed it onto some men's suits..think it was Valentino! I love the way women shoppers are dressed there - it's like they're at a ball or something!

So, OP, YANBU. Although, I think you should dress how you feel comfortable but not to offend or piss off certain people.

LentillyFart · 03/04/2012 19:21

Look. You need to let this go. In the grand scheme of things it's neither important nor particularly interesting. Just remind yourself that if she's so hot how come you're the one messing the tags and she's the one putting them back. That should do it.

Now move on to something that's not going to fry your head.

NarkedPuffin · 03/04/2012 19:47

Projecting much?

To me it sounds like the assistant was minding her own business, doing her job - tidying the stock.

You're the one who sounds like you have an issue. Dressing down to make a point???? It's a shop not a royal garden party. As for the nose ring, please. Hardly edgy nowadays.

Aribura · 03/04/2012 19:58

Impression I get from this thread: I am edgy because I have a nose ring. People are judging me because I am a special snowflake.

No. Nobody cares.

NarkedPuffin · 03/04/2012 20:01

at special snowflake

SodoffBaldrick · 03/04/2012 20:10

No, it wasn't like a scene from Pretty Woman. In Pretty Woman, Julia was going in there to spend a wodge of cash.

You were in there to mooch around and kill time.

She probably sees that sort of thing every day and it probably pisses her off. Maybe. I dunno. Just surmising, exactly as you are doing. You have no idea, either.

IAmBooyhoo · 03/04/2012 20:15

i'm getting a 'chip on shoulder' vibe from you tbh OP. are you sure you weren't giving out 'fuck you' vibes of your own?

PosiePaques · 03/04/2012 20:15

Selfridges or Aldi, she's a shop assistant.

CountryMouse27 · 03/04/2012 20:20

Nose ring or Prada: She's still a customer with no intention of buying anything and is assuming that the sales assistant has nothing better to do than mentally judge her.

CountryMouse27 · 03/04/2012 20:32

I've been trying to work out how best to phrase this.

You are assuming that she is assuming that you have no money. You dont know this for sure. Assuming she is assuming you have no money then she doesn't know that sure either.

I've a headache now.

She on the other hand, was probably about to try to offer to help you, and then got the bum rush off your "alternative" attitude towards her because you have a very unique nose stud and you are an individual and have lots of disposable income, yes we know

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