To confront partner over email

[kaos73]

My 'dp' works away some nights. Found an email to colleague from him last week saying if she ever fancies a run after work to join him. He does go running after he checks into the hotel. Obviously I have trailed through his emails to find this as a while ago I was a bit suss about something. I think it is inappropriate - I know he'll say it's innocent. It's what it could lead to that worries me. Should I fess up and say what I've found?

Did you hack the emails or do you generally have access to them?

I don't think there's anything inappropriate though tbh.

On his laptop for work which is left open....

I don't think it sounds suspicious to be honest. But you may have to tell him you've looked through his emails if it is bothering you - far better than that it comes out in an argument at a later date!

I wouldn't like it but would feel I shouldn't mention it because it sounds innocent. What was the wording like? Did the email confirm your suspicions?

Sounds harmless, you might not like it but it is hard to conclude he is cheating

What is it that you think is inappropriate?

Going for a run isn't suspicious in itself...

Absolutely harmless and wouldn't bother me at all. It gets really boring working away and it's nice to have some company. Try not to assume the worst

DP runs with a club, I have no reason to think anything untoward is likely to happen. What else has got your spidey senses tingling, op?

I wouldn't assume the worst, the fact that you have and are looking in the first place means that there is something else going on.

So. Your DP stays away from home, presumably near another office or centre for his work. He runs. He mentions to a colleague that he runs. S/he says 'oh, come out running with me one night if you're stuck in the hotel bored, I'll show you a good route'. And you're suspicious of this? Seriously, I must be missing something here because I would be very, very unhappy if my DP hacked my emails then told me I couldn't go running with someone from work.

Obviously all relationships are different but I feel like if I had seen an email like this on DP's account (which I easily could as we happily access each others stuff and have no secrets) then I would just ask him and he would just answer. Don't see any need to confess, if you see what I mean. If he didn't want you to see it, he wouldn't have left his laptop open in a place you would have seen it, and a lot of wives or partners would hold their hands up to getting curious when they see some form of internet interaction between their partner and a female friend/acquaintance/colleague and I think he would probably understand that too.

If you don't want to admit that you read the email you could just say, "I walked past your laptop earlier and saw a woman's name!" in a cool, casual way like you're teasing him, and he'll probably explain anyway.