Tole DH to 'man-up'. WIBU?

[flossyfloo]

DH has manflu.

2 out of our 3 DC have had it over the past week or so. Yes, they have been miserable and feeling pretty shite but have managed to continue life without too much bother, going to school/nursery etc.

DH is of course dying. If there is even a moment's silence, it is immediately filled with sighs and moans and huffs from his direction. When he looks at me it has to be with heavy pitiful eyes (even though he doesn't have this look on his face unless it is pointing my way!).

He then mentions that he forgot to have his flu-jab this winter so that is why he has this now.

It is at this point that I decide to tell him that he doesn't actually have flu, he just has a nasty cold just like the children had and that all the sighing and feeling sorry for himself isn't going to get him anywhere. And I actually used the words 'man up'!!!

Was I being unreasonable to have said this? And AIBU to have little sympathy for him? (I know, I'm a heartless bitch!)

Oh gosh, am I the only softy here?

I'm not a fan of telling people they don't feel as bad as they say they do. How do you know he doesn't feel really awful? It's not like he's saying he's sick and then off to the pub.

YABU to use the phrase 'man up' which implies men are tougher/stronger and to be emulted above women. Perhaps he actually needs to 'woman up' in this circumstance.

My OH currently has a cold and is behaving in the exact same way! Heavy sighs constantly, moaning, saying he feels like he's dying etc etc..
I also have no patience, especially when he made a sudden, albeit temporary recovery last night to play football!

no dreaming you're not! I am very sympathetic when Dp is ill. Mind you my DP is a she (we both are) and my dad and brothers are very rarely ill and when they are they are very stoic! I've never actually seen this "manflu" phenomena in action but my friends tell me it is real and extremely annoying! Enjoying the thread though.....sorry for your DH OP but the suggestions are extremely amusing!

YANBU!!

I am just getting over the flu. I could barely talk! If he can whine he is not that bad!

If he had flu, he'd know about it. No slight piddling raised temperature - skyhigh one with hallucinations. He'd not be able to focus as it would hurt just to look at the tv/screen.

Colds are a pain in the arse. Flu feels like you're dying.

Cherries oh good, I'm glad I'm not the only one!

My DH is also quite stoic and tbh I sometimes think that's worse... I'd much rather be bringing him soup in bed than watching him try to continue on as normal whilst being a total grump and sneezing and coughing all over the place.

I agree with those that say if it was actual flu he would know about it and should get sympathy, I had flu for the first time ever last year and spent 5 days in a dark room feeling like I was about to die and will swear to this day that Zippy, Bungle and George where the judges on strictly come dancing [Grin] and that my wardrobe can talk!

He has a cold and imo yanbu he is being a wuss.

My DP has toothache and has done nothing but whinge for about a week (earliest dentist can see him is Thursday) I was sympathetic for about 2 days but now his constant moaning, sighing and pitiful eyes are annoying me, I may have to tell him to "women up"

YABU. I get 'manflu' and I'm a woman. If I'm suffering, everyone needs to know about it. I will phone my mum in floods of tears and demand she sits at my bedside nursing me (she refuses, the cow!).

I sink into a world of cold induced misery and don't move off the sofa! I really don't appreciate it when my family tell to to 'man up' (or equivalent). So I'm empathising and feeling really sorry for your DH

Toothache is even worse. Omg smiling, how heartless are you!!

I am more sympathetic to your DH than I might be because I am still suffering from a very heavy cold I have had for nearly two weeks now: a horrible chesty cough, wheezing, fatigue, sneezing, the works. I have been very poorly with it - in bed for two and a half days - and am now on antibiotics because the doc is worried that it might be bacterial rather than viral.

Yet it isn't flu - temperature is absolutely normal, etc. So I suppose you could say it's manflu, but I have been miserable with it! And would be very sad if my DH had told me to man up at any point, since I have felt incapable of doing so

Well, he's pretty much all better now (shows it was a cold rather than flu!) but he has passed it on to me :(

Now it's time to show him how a woman deals with a cold :o I still have to work, deal with the DC (I work p/t) etc etc while having this cold. He had 2 days off work and no DC to deal with as they were in childcare or school while I was working and then I had to sort the DC out when I got home.

I don't think he's ever had flu so has no idea, he just thinks it's a really bad cold. He has seen me with it though; I've had it once about 8 years ago. My temp was sky high, I was hallucinating, didn't eat for days and slept pretty much constantly. Now if he had that, he would of course get every ounce of sympathy I have as it's not nice. But it is just a nasty cold.

Sherlock hope you get better soon.

It's funny that DH needs early nights, no jobs to do etc when he's got a cold but I just have to get on with it. If I didn't the DS's would sit in their pants/nappy and eat biscuits all day and we'd need Aggie and Kim to dig us out of the mess!

that's exactly how it is coco we just have to get on with it :( I get yelled at for not resting and making myself worse but there's no one else her to change nappies etc when he at work . Course I'm not gonna rest :(

I hate this too.

It has been known in the last for us to have the same bugs. He has retired to bed while I carry on looking after DD. Then he stood at the top of the stairs and shouted down fro hot drinks, new box of tissues etc etc.
I lost the plot got a bit annoyed and pointed out that I had the same illness and was still up and looking after small child, so he could damn well look after himself as even that was more than I was able to do. And his response was 'I have it worse than you - I couldn't have carried on.'

He uses this line a lot. I have pointed out several times that if both he and I can't carry on there is no-one to look after the dd, therefore if he retreats into patheticness it leaves me no choice but to keep going, regardless of how ill I am actually feeling.

He nods slightly guility each time but illness has the power of making him forget these convserations next time he feels a bit under the weather....

I regularly tell my DP to 'woman up' or to 'grow a vagina/cunt'.

If he has the energy to moan constantly and pout, sigh, etc, it's not flu.

But Flossy -- if your DH is better and now you are ill, then why doesn't he take care of the DC when he's home from work?

It seems to me the best way to make your point is not to 'get on with it' but to do exactly what he did, so he can see how much it impacts the other person.

Throw in lots of sighing and moaning

bohemian in all fairness, he is doing his fair share (if not more) when he gets home from work but he leaves for work at 7:30 and gets home around 6:30 so most of the childcare is down to me.

There's no way I could give in to this cold. He asked me last night how I was doing and I just had to reply 'feeling shite but can cope'. :o His response was 'unlike me'. Well, he said it not me :o.

I'm not trying to be a martyr or anything like that but the cold really isn't that bad so I see no reason to stop doing what I normally do. Yes, it'll most probably hang around for a day or 2 longer than when DH had it but that's not a problem really. If I start sighing and moaning like he did I am sure I would get an 'I told you so' and that I was being a crap wife telling him to 'man up'!