... to feel so guilty about a work trip

[Franziska]

Please apologise, this sounds like I'm bragging. I'm not, but because it sounds like it is, I've not really asked this question in real-life.

I've been asked to fly to the UN as an expert for a one day meeting. They're paying, great. My boss is happy with me to go, it looks great on my CV and our department. But I'm not an expert, ok I know some stuff, but not an expert, and I've seen the tickets they've bought me. They're not cheap

I'm feeling like a fraud, even though I know I can't really say no because it's such a great opportunity. AIBU to feel so guilty? How do I cope with the guilt when I go? This world of jetting around is very new to me

They wouldn't have asked you if they didn't want you there.

I know, and I've been very apologetic in my emails. "If I can be of some use ..., etc". It's just a very new world for me, and I'm sure many wouldn't bat an eyelid at that kind of travel

I spent my entire PhD worrying that eventually everyone was going to realize I didn't have a clue what I was doing, even though my supervisor kept telling me that everyone else felt exactly the same. Unless you've lied to them about your abilities then I'd say it's up to them to judge whether or not you have suitable expertise for the job, and they clearly think you do which makes you an expert. Self doubt is very natural but I really think that's all it is, try to have a bit more faith in yourself and definitely stop feeling guilty, if you've been asked to go I'm sure you've more than earned it. YABU.

Thanks, I think some self-belief is definitely the key here

BIG YOURSELF UP! they would not have asked, and I bet you know more than many.

they wouldnt have asked you to go if they didnt have faith in your abilities so have some faith in yourself , you must know your stuff to be asked to go , just try and relax about it , and go do what you have to and be proud you contributed

Stop apologising in those emails!

For one thing it makes you sound unconfident and for another it's actually quite irritating, even though you have the best of intentions.

Front it out. We all feel like frauds half the time. I am an MD of a biggish company and I still do but I've learned not to show it.

Enjoy it and learn from it.

Easier said than done, but don't worry so much :) You've no need to feel guilty, you aren't a fraud and it doesn't seem like you've over-sold yourself and even if you have, you should pat yourself on the back for being such a go getter!

Have a great time, I'm sure you'll do fine!

It very often seems to me that it is the events themselves that are fraudulent, and I'm guessing that your conscientiousness about a correct assessment of your potential to contribute, and about the cost of your being there makes you much less of a fraud than many of the attenders/organisers.

There is a momentum that so many organisations have -- the necessity of being seen to do something, the busy-ness that large events generate, the convenient possibility of each participant gaining a rationale by his or her contribution to an event whose only real value is that it supplies a similar rationale for every other participant, the reports that are written up afterwards that inevitably assert the immense value of the meeting, the priorities that are established and become the pretext for the next meeting ...

I do feel you you, and I admire your frankness with yourself, but there seems no point in kicking against that kind of momentum and I truly doubt that you are anything like as unworthy of the task as you feel yourself to be.

Sounds like a great adventure and as others have said you have been invited, you may have years more experience in the field than the other attendees there so relax. One of the best managers I ever worked for moved from a completely different company into a Director role, for the first year almost every question we had was answered with "Thats a good question I will find the answer and get back to you". Which she did promptly and nobody ever thought any less of her for being honest.

Good luck, you wont be the only newbie there I am sure so you could make some new friends too.

thanks for all your help, deep breath! I'll be there, quite excited really

Wow, good for you. Who wouldn't be a little nervous going to the UN!

Conquer your nerves and give yourself a good talking to, you wouldn't have been asked to attend if you weren't up to the job.

Enjoy!

will you start a thread when you come back so we can all know how it went ,

Aibuquatada are you a civil servant by any chance? I totally agree with what you are saying.

Ask yourself, if you were a 30-something man, whether you would approach this situation differently?
Often makes me realise I AM better/ more experienced/suitable for jobs that rivals get, but they assume they're theirs by right. I assume no one else was available.

You dont need to feel guilty about this. Some of the best people are the most insecure about the value they have to offer, where some people have completely unjustified high opinion of themselves.

If you have been asked then who are you to argue with the view of the UN?

You are an expert if you know more than them, that's all. Peeling is right - can you imagine a 30-something man questioning their decision. It would be "Get in!" and his bags would be packed.

Have a fantastic time and come back and let us know how it went.

Thanks for all your support, I'll let you know how it went. I may have to resurrect a thread as it drops down the page!

Don't be so ridiculous! You'd never see a man acting like this. Grab the opportunity and BLAG if you have to, but never NEVER doubt yourself.

wow! congratulations. go and enjoy. As other pps have said, we all feel as though we are faking it most of the time!

I expect that when you are there you will be astonished by how little they know about your area of expertise. Remember to explain everything and not assume too much knowledge from them
Good luck