over setting some 'ground rules' for my brother coming to live as a lodger?

[JobCarHouseNoBaby]

See previous thread here about my quandry of charging him rent or not.

Further to several posters recommendations, we drew up a list of ground rules which we emailed to him last week to mull over before moving in over Easter weekend. He rang and said they seemed fine.

Just got off the phone to my Mum who said "I think he is a little bit worried about getting in your/your DP's way" which is news to me. Then I had the phone slammed down on me when I said in reply "well if he has concerns he needs to talk to me about them, because DP and I are looking forward to having him stay and it's not healthy to bottle up issues". She said as she hung up "do not put words in my mouth, I'm going now, BYE".

My list of 'rules' is below. Were DP and I BU with these requests?

1. Pay rent on pay day via online banking
2. Your rent includes (list of bills) plus free use of washing machine, kitchen etc
3. If bills increase significantly (e.g. electric) after you move in we may revise rent
4. Should you stay with us longer than 3 months we may revise rent
5. Park your car considerately in our street (we have nightmare neighbours who are like 24/7 parking wardens)
6. Be considerate with music/TV as DP and I get up at 6.30am
7. Help with housework - clean bathroom once a fortnight and keep your own room/laundry clean
8. Ask us first if you want guests over
9. Don't take out credit against our address

10. Turn off electrical kit if not at home (a big issue for my techi brother) 11. If you cause any damage you will need to pay to repair it 12. Keep your stuff in your room 13. This is a temporary fix (up to 3 months), not long term - please factor this into your plans for savings

You went along with it to keep the peace? What, her treating you like crap?

She'd have had a blasting from me.

fluffy I agree - it would be easier for all concerned if he went straight into his own pad, BUT we all know (even he has admitted) he doesnt have the spare cash lying around to pay a deposit plus rent in advance. So he really needs to stay with me for a minimum of 2 months to save his cash. The reason I'm a bit worried about it is because I worry about him, and I don't want him to go rushing into moving out and taking on financial commitments on my account (i.e. because our 'rules' make him feel in the way or unwelcome).

dreaming yes he is the last one to escape the nest. Not helped by the fact I fled at 18 (moved away for uni and never came back) but he chose to stay at home and go to the local uni so Mum has always had him in her nest.

verity DP and I considered this. Knowing my brother as I think I do, he will be loving the fact he has a cheap rent with his sister and unless we incentivise him otherwise, could very well end up living here for months/years. So we put that in the list to make him realise that we're not going to be taken for fools and if he wants to stay here long term he can, but the rent might go up to account for it.

The line with your mother OP is that if your DB is OK with it, that is all that matters. She needs to mind her own...

If he wants to do a house share somewhere else, let him.

It's a NIGHTMARE having anyone to live in your house, and I'll be betting your DM will be sticking her oar in regularly.

Oh and DON'T apologise to your DM again, she is being unreasonable and has no business saying anything to you, this is a private agreement.

That list seems fair enough,

does he have form for taking advantage or something??