To 'punish' him a little until he can loook after his Oyster better

[Shinyshoes1]

I don't like to use the word punish but I can't think of another one.

My eldest constantly loses his Oyster, he's had at a rough guess around 15. Each costing a tenner a go. Anyhow this isn't about him, this gives an indication on how my children treat stuff

My Youngest DS has just got his first one recently..guess what....yep he's lost it, now without getting another one straight away like we normally do with DS1 AIBU to make him wait a few days, perhaps after Easter andthen buy him one resulting him in not being able to go anywhere during the first week of the holidays.

MY DS1 (Who constantly loses his NEEDS to have one, he's a senior and won't get on a bus to school without it, they just won't let him). We do take it from his pocket money.

DS2 on the other hand is only 11 and a junior so he can still get away with not having one for now............he's lucky a he hasn't been stopped yet and refused travel.

We hav recently moved home, around 8 miles from where his friends are etc, so by us refusing for him to go to where we used to live as he has no pass its isolating him. But I want him to learn to take responsibilty for things, they treat everything with little or no respect. Broken PS3 games, Scratched Wii games, broken ipod touch screens.......the list goes on

I'm trying to instill some resonsibility

AIBU

Sounds like you're spoiling them if they have no regard for their possessions. I don't think punishing one but not the other is fair.

Well if having to pay out £150 of his own money hasn't made your DS1 more careful, I doubt DS2 will be any different!

But most importantly your 11yr old can not get away without using one because if an inspector gets on, you'll be fined £20 rising to £40 after a while.

Unless he's really good at lying about his age under pressure.

Oh and they will let your DS1 on a bus without his Oyster card...but he has to pay to travel.

Of course he needs to be punished.
He has lost 15?
And is not upset by losing £10 of his allowance?
Ds has lost one, and had to pay...he gets £15 a month allowance so was gutted.
Dd has lost her 1st one (she is year 10) and can't meet her friends till the new one arrives later this week.
Do you buy your children lots of things.....seems as if you do.

You can't punish one but not the other for the same crime, especially when you are 'letting off' the one who really should be the more responsible of the two.

I've just noticed he's 11. I thought he was 5! Take their i pad/wii etc off them.

I know what you mean op, no my kids are definately not spoilt but do seem to have a disposable society attitude... if its broken / lost.... get a new one! we try hard to get them to put more value on things and it does not have huge effect, they take pretty good care of belongings really but when something does go wrong, (as is the case) they shrug whereas if I broke something expensive I would cry!

So the 15yr old gets his replaced immediately, but the 11yr old doesn´t?

How does that work, then?

How can you expect the younger to care more about his card when the older gets away with being so careless?

What diddl said.

Careful that the RSPCA don't catch hold of this thread - personally I'd been more concerned for the welfare of the Oysters themselves.

blimey, i get besides myself if they lose their school bus pass which cost £2 to replace

How much pocket money are they getting that the oldest hasn't noticed £150 of it going missing??

diddl I assumed the eldest's got replaced immediately because he needed it for school.

However, I'm not sure the OP realises that just because DS2 might get away with boarding the bus without an Oyster, it doesn't mean he won't be fined if caught.

Think punishing your
Younger child
When the oldest gets his
Replaced instantly 15 times is awful btw

Be consistent and equal
although it obviously isn't working

Make them pay for their travel out of their allowance.

I don't understand why you want to punish one but not the other - DS1 is a repeat offender but you replace his immediately because he 'needs' it (which as another poster pointed out, he doesn't actually, but he does need £2.30 in cash per journey), but DS2 has done it once and you want to teach him a lesson by not replacing it over Easter so he can't go out anywhere? So not only will be (presumably) have to pay for it himself, but he won't get to choose when he buys it?

That's really unfair, sorry. You should make both DSes pay for their fares or replace the card our of their own money. If they don't get their own money then they will have to do jobs around the house to get cash for their travel.

On a more practical note, can you make sure they keep the card on a fob round their neck on in their wallets or something?

"diddl I assumed the eldest's got replaced immediately because he needed it for school."

It read to me as if the youngest also uses his for school.

But if the oldest needs his-isn´t the fact that he´s so careless somehow worse?

I'm guessing the eldest doesn't get punished because his own money is used to replace it. Nd so really its his problem, he can eat it for breakfast each day if jd wants

I remember you posting about your eldest OP.

You would not be unreasonable to punish him.

Don't you have an issue with them being v.spoilt, pocket money that doesn't actually have to pay for anything because your DH just buys them masses of stuff and gives them extra money?

Thanks ladies and yes as alibaba has mentioned like other posters have my Ds's are spoilt and have no respect for anything . I'm trying to rectify this as I realise I was being foolish and have made a rod for my own back sadly .
It comes back to the age old excuse "I didn't have it so I want my children to " sadly it's come to bite me on the bum. . We make them earn their pocket money now . They both have 2 jobs they do daily in order to earn the money . Sadly today I asked DS1 to do something extra . It was mealy with defiance . Like I say I'm trying to rectify this as I have a couple of self entitled children on my hands with no respect for anything around them .

I have ordered DS2 a new Oyster but told him if he loses it again it will be replaced out of his pocket money as will any future ones Ds1 loses

Thanks ladies

I was thinking... how can you punish a baby for using a buggy incorrectly??

:o

Wow - our ds is 17 and has lost about 4 over the years - I thought that was horrendous. Every time he gets told off and has in the past been made to walk home from school (3 miles). DS is generally more careless than DD who rarely loses anything and gets very upset if she does. I think it's because she's seen him in trouble so many times.

You should make them walk if their late for school and get in trouble all the better next time he will reamber.

We do too much as much as we can for ours so that they have more than we did as children.

But even so, they would know the importance of something like an Oyster card tbh.

If they lose their Oyster card more than once can't they just pay cash?

It's much more expensive but if the difference comes out of their own money, then surely that's up to them. You don't need an Oyster card.