It's your 5am wake up call

[lostboysfallin]

Huffing and puffing
Ranting
Swearing
Moaning
Foot stamping

If I'm awake you should be awake
Bastard
Wake up the rest of the house too, why don't you?
Mum and dad staying and poorly DS

Who?

Sorry, DH.

Why is he up at 5 and why is he behaving like that

Oh, he's just going to work
Seems to be a regular occurrence these days
Yes he hates work, but just get on with it

oh well, you will just have to be too tired to do x,y,z that are for his benefit.

In this house it is a criminal offence to wake anybody thats asleep. That would really get my goat

Whenever DH gets up with DS in the mornings he turns the light on, scratches himselfy (LOUDLY), opens and slams the wardrobe doors, moans about the lack of clean pants in his drawer, walks out the room leaving the door open so that the cat leaps onto my face.

TBF to him early mornings are pretty much the only time he acts like a total wanker. But it drives me nuts. When I get up with him I just slip out of bed, pull on a dressing gown and quietly take DS downstairs.

I have spoken to him about it. He says 'sorry' then does it again the next time.

But he is going to work, to earn the money.
I shouldn't complain

Who says the OP isn't going to work?! And I work too by the way

Dp doesn't even hear me leave in the morning, his alarm goes off twice and he feels the need to open and shut drawers. Hes not doing it on purpose his brain just doesnt click in straight away! Give him his due he was excellent with night feeds (five years ago!)

To me it doesn't matter if the OP is going to work or not. It's just rude and inconsiderate imho

I vaguely heard DP get up this morning at silly o'clock (still adjusting to UK hours) but only as he got out of bed. He was totally silent.

YANBU to expect someone getting up at 5am to do it in a quiet and considerate manner.

I get up at 5 every week day to go to work, I manage to sneak out of bed, shower, get dressed and packed all without waking up anyone else.

I even leave DP and lovely hot coffee (in a thermos cup) and DD's milk next to his bed.

I do give DP a quick kiss before leaving the house and wish him a good day, but most mornings he's so asleep I get a text at half 7 saying "did you say goodbye to me this morning?"

So it is possible, if you're prepared to put a bit of effort in

Prof, that sounds nice.
It's his attitude that gets me. He is so resentful. I'm not working But I don't think it makes a difference.
I don't wake him at the weekends, and hes never got up at night

@lostboysfallin - I can kind of see both sides, while I was off on Mat leave, DP still worked and was really bad at getting up quietly and would often wake DD up, with his clunking around, swearing at the cats etc

But he hated his job, and was miserable, he's still a grumpy sod when he doesn't get enough sleep, but he's so much happier now.

So in someways having swapped roles that made me realise how quiet I need to be in the morning.

Maybe it's worth getting yourself involved in a early Saturday or Sunday morning club (sports, volenteer anything) so he can see what it's like with on the recieving end.

The other suggestion, which is probably not the best in the current climate, is maybe he could look for a new job, something that makes him less miserable, if he enjoys his job, he may feel less resentful?

Yeah, he's looking for another job, but he's very highly thought of here, and very well looked after.
I do get up at the weekend with DS and leave him sleeping, but I can get ready in a whole other bathroom.
He wouldn't really entertain that idea

I sympathise as my DP is exactly the same, mumps and moans every single morning about getting ready, like a fecking child having to go to school. Opening and closing drawers, swearing whilst he puts his contact lenses in, stomping around upstairs then running down the stairs over-dramatically once he realises he is late, as usual.

You're a grown man with a job. Go to it and shut up.

I am like a martyr mouse when I'm the first one up.

Ranting and swearing is very bad behaviour anyway...but to be so cocksure of yourself as to do it with your in laws staying, is abysmal.

OP - it is not cool for your dh to make you absorb his anger like this. If he is like this regularly then life must be quite miserable for you.
What are your thoughts about where to go with this?

DH doesn't do that, but he does insist on having the alarm half an hour earlier than I want it because he "has to get up" then snoozing it until the time I actually wanted. Might work for him, but DS and I are properly awake from the first time.

Pictish, my life is miserable right now.
He has lots of anger/stress issues
I'm sticking with it for now, but it needs to improve
We are having counselling but not sure how effective it is
Early days
But it's exhausting

Yes...one does grow weary of having to bear the brunt of another's lack of manners and control.

Oh yes and the old 'But I'm not angry at YOU' line can go hang as well. Bet he pedals that one out.
He's angry and everyone has to suffer for it.

he slept on the couch last night!

he's having problems sleeping and if I go to sleep before him, my heavy breathing(not snoring!) annoys him and he can't drop off.

he was very quiet getting ready though!