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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photography dilemma

38 replies

niceguy2 · 02/04/2012 00:27

My fiancee and I are stumped and we've spent the whole evening deliberating and changing our minds over photographers. We've narrowed it down to two but we keep flip flopping between them.

The first is a very friendly guy who has some very lovely looking photos. We can see many examples of his work on his website, full weddings and his prices are very competitive. He seems very approachable and flexible. He's happy to cover from ceremony until first dance. His style is very fly on the wall, candid as is the trend nowadays.

The second is in a different league. His portfolio is amazing and we would get some amazing posed photos. In his price we'd get a second photographer who would also help with capturing candids during the ceremony/formal shots then help with lighting etc with the posed shots. His prices are nearly double but we love the results. However, he's not as flexible but still friendly/professional. He will cover the ceremony, photos after then disappear during the meal/speeches to go home, dump the data onto his PC, eat etc. then return later for the first dance.

The latter will stretch our budget but I'm sure we'd find the money from somewhere. But we both a little put off by the fact that we almost fit into his routine rather than someone to fit around our day. But that said we both love his contemporary style and is that just being picky? I know it's boring for photographers to be hanging around during the meal so it is understandable. But we would like the speeches covered.

That said, we have at least three guests who are semi-pro photographers who'd be more than capable of covering the speeches. Two of which have done weddings themselves. But we didnt want to ask them to cover the whole day as we want them to be guests and also to avoid any future problems if something went wrong.

The first guy is cheaper tho by a long margin and would still I am sure come out with some great photos. And the price difference would probably go a long way towards our honeymoon!

To boil it down, Tog 1 let's give him 8/10. Tog 2 = 10/10

So....MN'ers. AIBU to save the cash and go with Tog 1 or should we go with Tog 2, ignore the niggles and get some amazing photos of our day?

OP posts:
Rhinosaurus · 02/04/2012 00:34

No1. Guy no2 sounds arrogant and pissy, i bet if there are any issues or things you are not happy with, he will be a nightmare to negotiate with.

Honeydragon · 02/04/2012 00:35

Do you really want to be mincing around doing staged photos whilst your guests are having all the fun?

Remember one reason you have the photos is for the memories, not how hawt you looked Wink

picklesrule · 02/04/2012 00:40

I found posing for photos the most annoying part of the day - everyone else is off drinking champers and eating canapés and you are stuck for aaages posing with all the rellies..
Personally I would go with number one, you will still get group shots but not as fussy and it sounds like he will be much more accommodating than number 2. I have never heard of a photographer going home for part of the wedding, that seems weird, what if he doesn't get back in time? And surely you want the speeches and meal captured a bit?

LeBOF · 02/04/2012 00:40

Honeydragon makes an excellent point. I'd go with 1. You could also show him some shots of 2 that you like and ask if he could do a couple similar. But don't spend half your day posing- that's really not the point, is it?

startail · 02/04/2012 00:42

Please 1 bossy photographers who keep the guests hanging around are a Pita.

Please take pity on elderly relatives, children and all those wearing heels who don't normally and keep the photos short and sweet.

MNHubbie · 02/04/2012 00:46

We had a photographer 2 in terms of what we got (2 photographers, 1 for formals and 1 for informals) and it was fantastic but they fitted around what we wanted when.

I'd say go with option 1 and ask politely for your pro friends to bring their cameras along too or go for the unmentioned option 3 of giving photographer 2 the choice of doing his bloody job and fitting round you or hitting the highroad and then finding a company who will give you everything you need.

TheCraicDealer · 02/04/2012 00:56

It's also worth bearing mind that Pricey Photog's stuff may seem "contemporary" now, but In a few years time you might be a bit "wtf were we thinking" about them. My parents' generation all had soft focus pictures of them staring into each other's eyes/the rings/the sunset which are now shoved behind the fruit bowl on the sideboard. Fashions change, even in wedding photography.

Tiddlyompompom · 02/04/2012 00:57

What do you want out of your photos - a lovely record of the day, or framed pics of just you two for the wall/mantle?

It sounds like Tog 1 is the best option for a great album of memories and a few good pics of the happy couple, but if you particularly want one amazing shot of you both, then go for Tog 2.

I doubt Tog 1 would have a problem with taking half an hour to take a few staged shots, he is a professional photographer, and as you say, flexible.
Have a look at a few wedding blogs for portrait ideas, suggest them to Tog 1 and see what happens.
oncewed.com 100layercake.com/blog weddingchicks.com etc all have great real weddings with beautiful photos, and lots of links to photographers too.

Our photographer was a lovely guy and his friendly attitude was what helped give us great pics - if Tog 1 appeals to you as a person, go with him. People respond well to friendly photographers, you'll get better results as well as a lower bill. You don't need to be playing second fiddle to your photographer on your wedding day, Tog 2 sounds a bit grating already...

MardyBra · 02/04/2012 01:00

Yabu. This should be in weddings or chat.

ZacharyQuack · 02/04/2012 03:06

Go for the cheaper photographer and spend the difference in price on booze.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 02/04/2012 03:24

Are you having a wedding video as well?

We had a no.2, in that posed and off after tge posed at tge venue. But we had an amazing video package, with two cameras so had cut always back and forth. (kinda like one video on us the other everyone else I guess). Btw the photographer didn't get all tge shots he was meant to at the church as we ran out of time. Getting everyone together can take a while especially if a larger wedding.

Ps congrats

iscream · 02/04/2012 06:38

I'd have to see their web sites to decide.

suburbophobe · 02/04/2012 06:46

I'd go for nr. 1 as he sounds approachable and friendly and then be happily enjoying an "upgraded" honeymoon to boot! Grin

storminabuttercup · 02/04/2012 06:51

I go for the first one, I hate posing for photos anyway! My cousin had a guy at hers who did a few posed, but the best shots where the ones he'd snapped when we were all chatting and having fun.

Just make sure he's not going to say 'work it for me' and 'come one look sexy' and similar, not only did we feel like page 3 models but my grandma was most put out...Grin

YouChangeWithTheWeather · 02/04/2012 08:06

How much is each charging for prints and who owns the copyright?
I'd go for whoever gives you a CD with the images on rather than the one you have to phone orders through to for £30 for a 6x4 copy.

somewherewest · 02/04/2012 08:13

To be honest I'm not sure I'd go with either. I've only been to one wedding with a professional photographer (shows how poor and / or chilled my friends are Grin) and the photographer was really pushy and just treated the whole day as a photoshoot. I was a bridesmaid and the whole bridal party were forever being pushed and prodded into new poses. Yes the pics were lovely but the day was just a drag. At our wedding we asked an amateur photographer friend to take pics and asked all the guests to bring cameras if they wanted and to forward whatever they took. We had a lovely, relaxed day and the photos were perfectly nice - not quite pro-standard, but at least everyone enjoyed the day.

somewherewest · 02/04/2012 08:15

And craicdealer makes a great point about how quickly on trend photography dates.

IvanaHumpalot · 02/04/2012 08:17

If you are very precious about you wedding photos, don't ask friends to to it. They might not turn out how you would like and then there's the awkward 'do you mention or not'. Also, would you pay them? Let them enjoy their meal.

OrenishI · 02/04/2012 08:23

No 1. I think no 2 sounds like he's trying to be a "luxury item" that you "really" want. I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole - he sounds trouble IMO.

Remember you are the customers and paying a lot of money. What do the rest of us do when we have a busy day at work?? We grab a quick sandwich - why is he so important that he needs to go home and have something to eat (and you can be sure that's what he's doing)

YellowDinosaur · 02/04/2012 08:23

I would def choose option 1. Sounds very similar to our wedding photographer. He did do a few group shoots when we asked too even though he didn't usually but we didn't really want to spend all day having group photos.

I have been at weddings where the photographer is really intrusive and its just a bit strange really. Our photography was really in the background but got done amazing shots and we got to keep them all.

Check out www.mauricephotos.co.uk/ - we got married several hours away from him so he does travel.

5Foot5 · 02/04/2012 08:23

You know these photos won't seem quite such a big deal in a few years time. For a little while you will show them around everyone and rellies will want one or two. But after a while the albumn will come out once in a blue moon and, apart from maybe a fave shot that you have framed, that is all you will ever see of them.

Save the money and go with number one and make sure he doesn't take over the day. Photographers have a habit of doing that. I remember at BIL and SILs wedding they spent so long being posed and messed about by photographers at the reception that the hot sit down meal had been quite spoiled by the time we got to have it.

SoupDragon · 02/04/2012 08:25

I would go with photographer 1. I hate posing for photos and feel like a complete idiot whilst doing it. Realistically, you don't spend hours gazing at your wedding photos after the first year or so. eventually all bar one gets shoved in an album and dragged out occasionally to laugh at what Mad Uncle Albert was wearing.

fedupofnamechanging · 02/04/2012 08:27

I'd go for the 1st one too, on the grounds that if you are paying a lot of money, then the photographer should do what you want, on the day, not tell you that he is only available for certain times and expect you to fit in with him.

Covering the speeches is important to you, so if you choose the 1st one, you will have professional photo's, guaranteed. I'd not rely on guests to take them, as you'd have no say/guarantee over what they'd produce and they might be a bit tipsy by the time the speeches come around.

Hop you have a lovely wedding

Chandon · 02/04/2012 08:31

the best photos I have from our wedding are the ones a (slightly drunk) friend took with her own camera, as they are all "real" and not posed. The posed official photos make me cringe a bit, but it is a personal choice, and you have to choose a style that suits you :)

Scholes34 · 02/04/2012 09:32

My favourite wedding photos are the album I put together of the snaps guests had taken and then sent to me (pre-digital days!). Posed photos can be crass, but the ones I really wanted, and love, were the ones taken outside church with all the relatives. The soft focus ones of me and DH by the duck pond in the grounds of the hotel don't particularly trigger any fond memories of the wonderful day in the way the more natural "snaps" do.

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