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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Born Again Virgins!

16 replies

Bogeyface · 01/04/2012 23:49

Just seen on my friends FB that she has agreed with her fiance that they are not going to have sex from now until they get married at the end of July, to make their wedding night more special!

Now, leaving aside the hideousness of that being on FB at all (she has her parents and inlaws on her friends list ffs!), AIBU to think that it is completely ridiculous?! They have been together for years and live together so why do this? If my wedding nights (I have had 2!) are anything to go by, they will be too knackered and/or pissed to get down to much anyway!

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Spuddybean · 01/04/2012 23:56

I also think this is ridiculous. My sisters DH suggested this when they set the date too - 2 YEARS BEFORE THE WEDDING! When she told me and my mum she said it would make it really special and romantic Hmm .

We were Shock . They had lived together for 10 years. Anyway, it turns out that he just actually had gone off sex and that didn't really return after they got married.

If DP makes me wait till i'm off my period i get Angry

WorraLiberty · 02/04/2012 00:00

On my wedding night, we got to the honeymoon suite about 7pm...had a quick shag, showered and got ready for dinner.

We were in bed by 10pm with DH snoring like a chainsaw, and me watching the Eurovision Song Contest!! Blush

Original poster
Bogeyface · 02/04/2012 00:01

Thats worse! Why on earth did he propose to someone he didnt want to have sex with?!

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Pandemoniaa · 02/04/2012 00:02

There's no limit to what people will put on FB is there? And yes, this is an unpleasantly intimate example of BU! As well as an entirely pointless gesture.

Spuddybean · 02/04/2012 00:06

I don't think he did propose, as it were. More of a 'we've been together for 10 years let's get married' type agreement (it defo felt more like 'something to do' rather than a burning desire iyswim). They'd been trying IVF for ages too so i suppose there was no real point to sex anymore Confused

I can't believe people would put their sex plans on fb. Another reason i am not it!

Original poster
Bogeyface · 02/04/2012 00:07

She is one of those people who seem to live their lives on FB, in technicolour detail, but this is a new low. Thankfully i have not been invited to the wedding!

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Original poster
Bogeyface · 02/04/2012 00:08

A quick google has just shown that it seems to be quite popular! The mind boggles....

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PurpleRomanesco · 02/04/2012 00:17

Just discussed this with DP, Your wedding night sounds like bliss to us Worra! :o

Hopandaskip · 02/04/2012 00:18

meh, hard to get worked up about this one.

Facebook announcement, not cool
Doing it, well they say "absence makes the heart more horny" or something like that.

Spuddybean · 02/04/2012 00:20

People really do have too much time on their hands to come up with bollox like that. What is achieved, really? I can't imagine 2 people who are hot for each other coming up with a suggestion like that. Why would you deprive yourself if you didn't have to? And if you are already trying to 'spice it up' by abstinence then i think marriage is a bad idea.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 02/04/2012 00:21

I wouldnt say I am worked up, just confused! I cant get my head around why anyone would do it!

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totallypearshaped · 02/04/2012 01:06

I think it's good preparation for marriage really Grin especially with a baby.

If you can get used to having no sex, and still are happy enough to be together, it bodes well for the longterm.... Hmm

MNHubbie · 02/04/2012 01:24

Spuddy you just keep in him hand! Good show and silly P for making you wait.

And I concur:

a) it is daft to have this on FB
b) it is daft anyway as... well it just is
c) SEX ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT!? HA! If they manage it then they didn't do the wedding justice. SLEEP on your wedding night and sex in the car on the way to the honeymoon, on the ferry, in the car in France, as soon as you walk into the gite and then whenever you feel like it for the next few days. But on the night?

Tee2072 · 02/04/2012 07:15

I love Facebook but it's certainly not something I would announce. What kind of response are they expecting, I wonder.

"We've agreed to not have sex until our wedding night"
"Oh wow good for you! You'll be so pure!"

Hmm

My wedding night was about the same as Worra's!

ErikNorseman · 02/04/2012 07:32

It is the stupidest idea. What for? There is zero difference between marital and pre marital sex, you are the same people! I can kind of see why it might be special to two religious virgins to wait but two sexually experienced people who already live together? Ouch. If someone suggested this to me I'd be seriously affronted. I don't agree that marriage spells the end of a sex life either!

AmberLeaf · 02/04/2012 08:00

Sounds ridiculous, my first thought would have been that it was an april fools day joke?

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