Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another mother issue......

28 replies

feedbackforfree · 31/03/2012 17:32

The only time I post in here is about my mother.

I'm taking her on holiday for a week. We were going to put the dog in a kennel but when visiting the vet today, she advised us that because of his issues with other dogs, it would traumatise him. She advised a dog behaviouralist and a house sitter to look after the dog.

My mother has thrown a strop and is now refusing to go on holiday unless we send the dog to a kennel.

Am I being unreasonable thinking that she is not a nice person to resort to this emotional blackmail? It's either her way or no way. The only reason I'm taking her away is to visit where my sister's ashes were scattered as she has not been and she is getting older I was concerned that she would never be able to go and pay her respects.

I'm tired of living this way; she lives here in my home and I'm the one that feels like a stranger. He's my dog. Up to me who comes and stays here and what happens to the poor mutt, surely? I'm thinking of him; she's thinking of herself.

Sorry, needed to vent!

OP posts:
feedbackforfree · 01/04/2012 21:02

All, thanks for your feedback - hence my name, I get all this feedbackforfree!

Life is rarely so simple. I'm the only child left out of us and my dad died relatively young. My mum has not had a great deal of luck in her life and as she is antisocial (and narcisistic) she has no friends and no one else. So, there was little choice for me when considering where should live. She had flatly refused sheltered housing. We didn't live close so I spent a lot of time driving backwards and forwards visiting so it seemed a way to get a bit of time back.

Anyway, we all have our crosses to bear and this for the time being is mine!

Everlong - she'd love it if the dog came on holiday. Just as he has anger management issues with other dogs - hence the vet's advice about boarding kennels, he also hates car travel. (Poor fucking dog has picked up her personality traits me thinks....) My youngest daughter has offered to come and stay to look after him. But I am standing firm in my resolve that I am not mentioning this to her again.

OP posts:
LydiaWickham · 02/04/2012 21:33

No, she's not your cross to bear, you've chosen this. You are not actually responsible for your mother. For whatever reason (and you need to explore this within yourself rather than tell us), you've decided to make your life shit in an attempt to make hers better.

She might not have wanted sheltered housing, but if you wouldn't have her live with you she'd have no choice.

You have both decided that her happiness is more important than yours

HoudiniHissy · 02/04/2012 21:48

She has no friends because she is narcissistic, she is vile. That is HER problem, not yours!

She has taken over your life and is stamping all over it. She has lost one DD, your sister, and rather than devote her life to making your life happy for the pair of her DDs, she has chosen to dominate you and prioritise just about everyone's needs over yours, while living in YOUR home.

Your mum is not normal. This set up is harmful, to you and to anyone else exposed to it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page