Neither DH nor I in the wrong. But which option is best?

[Newmummytobe79]

DH works long hours, six days a week so doesn't get to spend much time with baby.

I am on maternity leave and spend all my time with baby.

We're both keen to have a night out soon but I'd like my parents to babysit overnight at their house (we have done this before and it worked out really well) but he wants them to sit at our house so he can see baby first thing.

I understand it would mean he gets a full day with baby, but I know I'll spend our night out worrying that we could be up in the night and possibly have fuzzy heads the next day.

So am I being selfish to want a full baby free night or do I deserve a blow-out night (I'm thinking and dancing like we used to do! ) and a lazy morning the following day?

So, sock it to me! AIBU?

If he only gets one day a week with the baby then that is important. How about a compromise that you get wasted and he does any night wakings?

if he wants the baby at home then he does the night waking and gets up in the morning, you get a free night as you want - everyone's a winner.

If DH wants baby there in the morning, then let him deal with the night time wakes and the early morning. After all, he wants to spend time with baby!

Having them over the parents seems a better option to me. Probably better for them too?

Surely the crucial thing is what your parents want to do? I'd imagine if they are providing free babysitting they might well prefer to be in their house than yours.

id go with whatever your parents prefer

we're very lucking in that my parents would be happy to do either - although we would have a curfew if they sat at our house!

I like RitaMorgan's solution but I'd feel getting wasted and DH not!

guilty! I should have put in that I'd feel guilty getting wasted and DH not

is it possible for him to take a days holiday the day before or after so he gets time with baby then

Can't you do both? Can't you both have a good night out with your child at your mum's and then he can get up at 7 am and go round to his in-laws for breakfast and spend time with the baby whilst you have a lie in?

Btw, it's really lovely that he wants to spend that time with his baby. Lovely that he's prepared not to have a wild night out in order to wake up early with the baby.

Tell dh that if the baby will stay at your house he will not be able to drink as he will do the night time as pps have said. Yanbu to want a whole night/morning to yourself. If he is happy to have NO alcohol then let him and have a good night! But warn him that you will be unavailable for baby duty until

IMO it's important that your baby gets used to spending time in other places, with other people (who love him - obviously!). And it's equally important that you and your DH have time together.

Could your DH not plan to go and collect the baby very first thing, assuming your parents live close by?

Can you not spend the night at your parents? Then your DH can get up with the baby when he likes.