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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dead phone battery = drama, ABIU?

44 replies

OleaAndMarge · 31/03/2012 11:51

I went out with some friends last night, during the night my phone battery died and I wasn't able to text DP that I'd be back at his a bit late.

Got back quite late at night, he'd gone to bed and was fast asleep. I was furious that he had gone to bed without checking to see if I was ok (when I turned my phone on, there was only one message) and he said that he thought I wasn't there because "I'd gone to stay somewhere else" (I have no idea where he thought I would have gone!)

Cue arguing, he's gone to work now after another mini argument and I still feel really unsettled. It really affected me that he wasn't bothered if I was in the house or not, and more worrying that he assumed I'd just gone to stay at a friend's house without letting him know. I wouldn't have been able to sleep if he'd been that late back, and would have at least tried to call.. it was the sheer indifference as to where I was that upset me, not to mention the fact that I was obviously upset and he just ignored it.

However, am I being unreasonable? Should he have made more of an effort to message or find out where I was? Or am I being unreasonable, and should I have just let it go? What do I do now?? Do I apologise? Help!

OP posts:
DialsMavis · 31/03/2012 13:33

Did you expect him to sit up and wait for you indefinitely? Do you do the same for him? ConfusedHmm

OleaAndMarge · 31/03/2012 13:40

I expected a text or a phone call to ask where I was at that time, especially as I hadn't intended to stay out that long. Not sitting up wringing his hands sitting by the window, but at least a little "hmm, where is she?" would have been nice.

OP posts:
MagsAloof · 31/03/2012 13:42

Whats the problem? Your battery died - the onus was on you to make contact.

I would have just texted from my friend's phone saying 'dont wait up'.

Honestly, you are overreacting.

MrsKittyFane · 31/03/2012 14:13

Well, if you have now charged your phone you could text him and say sorry, blame irrational rant on hangover and ask him if you can make him anything nice for tea (grovel).
You were U earlier- for all the reasons others have said.

AllotmentLottie · 31/03/2012 14:20

DH was home very late last night. I went to bed. Should I check whether he is fuming??

veritythebrave · 31/03/2012 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jemsgem · 31/03/2012 14:34

lol men cant win can they

if they go to bed, they are horrible and uncaring
if they ask when you will be back, they are controlling and manipulative
if they wait up, they are being passive agressive

jeez woman, get a grip

mummakaz · 31/03/2012 14:43

I agree with others. You are the one being late home so you should have made more of an effort to contact him. If anything he should be pissed off with you....

EllenParsons · 31/03/2012 14:47

YABVU

Seriously don't get your reasoning at all. You didn't try to contact him, you said it "didn't even occur to you" to text him off a friend's phone, yet you are hopping mad that he hasn't checked on you... because he should be so worried by your lack of text/call. Just WTF... you sound unhinged.

MadameMessy · 31/03/2012 14:54

I was out on Wednesday night and managed to crack the screen on my phone. So I texted dp off my friends phone to tell him, and if he was looking for me to ring or text her phone. He didn't.

It was great, I stayed out until 5am danced and laughed with my friends, and didnt care he wasn't looking for me, because errr....I was having fun. He didn't care because he was in bed (as are most at 5am)

YAB so so U

Shutupanddrive · 31/03/2012 15:36

Yabvu!!!

everlong · 31/03/2012 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpiritOfTheSite · 31/03/2012 16:29

Before mobile phones, as an adult, you went out and you came home when you came home!

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 31/03/2012 16:32

Why would a grown woman expect her partner to stay up worrying about her when she is out with friends, surely you can take care of yourself, and even if something happened to you what difference would a text to a dead phone make anyway?

Tiredandgrumpy2 · 31/03/2012 20:35

He trusts you and he was right to do so. You were fine. I don't see a problem that he went to bed. Why would you want him to experience more stress? It was not such a problem that you borrowed a friends phone or used a pay phone. I'm ire you coul have done if there was a problem. Uabu. Poor DP. I hope you can salvage thisWink

mynewpassion · 31/03/2012 23:33

Are you controlling? You would stay up all night waiting for him?

LoopyLoopsIsTentativelyBack · 31/03/2012 23:39

oh dear.

ivykaty44 · 31/03/2012 23:40

so if something had happened to you - what or how would your dh worrying help you?

Your dh would be at home either asleep or worrying into the nigh and this would not stop you from being hurt in some manner if you where going to be hurt.

i think you have to stop and think about when you go out, looking after yourself, being able to take care of yourself.

It is a bit silly to go out for a night out and not have battery for your phone - if you where hurt in some manner - falling down or tripping over - how would you have got help? Would your friends that you where out with phone for help if you collapsed or something? or would they leave you and move on to another pub?

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill · 01/04/2012 00:01

I don't think sitting up fretting about your partner not being back is in anyway healthy or normal not unless it's been over a day or something! You were out, you are a grown woman. Or should our menz be all worried about their feeble ikkle womenfolk as we are so weak and vulnerable

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