Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to be annoyed

15 replies

Foxy800 · 31/03/2012 09:02

Hi Thursday night I went out with dp who isnt currently living with me, I aksed him to move out in September but we are trying to work things out, however that isnt relevent, for the first time in months.
SO I decided to make a bit of an effort and went to put on my favourite earrings whichI dont wear very often. ANyway they were not with the rest of my jewellary which is all kept in the same place and too high up for dd to get to. On closer looking I also discovered a necklace was also missing (not worth anything but has great sentimental value, given to me by my 1st serious boyfriend 15 years ago so unreplaceable unlike the earrings). I have seen them both in the last couple of months so know they were there. There is a possibly that a jewellary box has gone too but not 100% sureo n hat as I had a clear out a while ago. I know I didnt get rid of the earrings or necklace but cant remember with the box. (have seen earings and necklace since then anyway)
APart from myself, who obviously holds the keys, the only others who have access are my dp who borrows keys from time to time to bring dd back here when they cant go to his or in school holidays as she gets bored at his for whole days and my brother who has just gone home after staying with me for 2 weeks so needed to borrow keys when I was at work. I have asked them both and they are both point blank denying it.

Am particularly gutted by the necklace as there is just no way to replace the sentimental value that was attached to it.

OP posts:

Freshlettice · 31/03/2012 09:40

Oh dear, threaten them both that you are going to ask the police to take fingerprints around the area?
Make a huge fuss and tell all the rest of the family?
Seriously, not sure what you can do really. Anyone else?

PooPooInMyToes · 31/03/2012 09:42

Oh! Who do you really suspect? Gut feeling?

Why did you ask your partner to move out?

Original poster

Foxy800 · 31/03/2012 10:29

Dont know who to suspect? Dont wnat to think it is either but db is awful with money and I asked dp to move out because he got into £15000 debt without telling me through payday loans etc.

The earrings I could almost accept but am totally gutted about the necklace. I have been on about it every day since finding them missing but just keep getting denials from both.

WOuld go to the police if I thought they would do anything but as it is just two small items, not noticed anything else missing from the house, I dont know if they would do anything.

OP posts:

TooEasilyTempted · 31/03/2012 10:32

Do you mean that your DP has keys so he can bring his DD to your house? And if so, how old is she?

Original poster

Foxy800 · 31/03/2012 10:43

No he doesnt have keys and he usually takes dd to his house after school but occasionally is unable to and in the school holidays he comes here and has her as he only has a room share in a house and she gets easily bored. On these occasions he either comes adn borrows my keys from me at work or I have to leave a set which he gives back at the end of the day.

DD is 6 years old and yes she is his dd too.

OP posts:

PooPooInMyToes · 31/03/2012 12:17

Do you think your daughter could have climbed up and got them to play with?

Is your ex the sort who would do that?

Yours brothers situation could have made him desperate enough i would imagine. If he owns nothing he might be better off going bankrupt.

Have you checked the local pawn shops?

notitswerebritish · 31/03/2012 12:43

Wait a second, you think u might have thrown out a jewellery box, but can't remember, and instead of thinking that there is a possibility u may also have accidentally binned said jewellery you are blaming 2 other people with no proof?

whackamole · 31/03/2012 12:46

notits I imagine the OPs thought process at the time was 'no I won't bin those they are special to me' hence why she knows she didn't bin them.

ImperialBlether · 31/03/2012 12:52

What a horrible problem to have.

Has your brother ever taken anything of yours before?

How desperate did your DP get about money? Did he lie about it? Did he ever take anything of yours and deny it?

I'm assuming you didn't wear the necklace, but kept it for sentimental reasons. Did your DP know who gave it to you?

AgentZigzag · 31/03/2012 12:54

Given that you could have misplaced/chucked them yourself, would your DP really jeopardise contact with his DD by blatently thieving from you?

ImperialBlether · 31/03/2012 13:18

I don't think she has chucked them out, AgentZigzag. It seems pretty clear they've been taken.

And she can't prove it's her DP taking it, so he's not jeopardising contact, is he?

AgentZigzag · 31/03/2012 13:33

The OP has as much evidence that she's not misplaced/chucked them herself as she has it was her DP/DB Imperial, ie none.

She only thinks she hasn't, and the 'I think the Sky engineer has nicked my ring' thread not long back shows how easy it is to dive in and mistakenly blame someone else.

The DP would have to be very desparate to steal from his DDs mum, the OP only has to suspect its him to change her behaviour and not let him in the house because she doesn't trust him.

She said he's not been honest with her in the past, but stealing when you'd be one of only two 'suspects' would be a bit a bit dim wouldn't it? Although he could in all probability be dim, I don't know

Original poster

Foxy800 · 31/03/2012 17:21

I know I havent thrown them away or misplaced themas they mean too much to me. As for the jewellary box I did throw some away but made sure they were empty. I have also seen the missing jewellary since then.

I have not accused anyone, just asked them if they have seen them.

There is no way dd could get to them without hurting herself as I have trouble myself.

My brother doesnt live near me hence why he was staying with me, and dp did lie to me about the debts, I only found out when I found one of the letters threatening bailiffs!!! As far as I know he has never taken anything of mine before.

As I say I havent accused anyone but really want the necklace back. As for not letting dp into the house it isnt an option at the moment as he has nowhere to take dd in the holidays.

Ps Sorry it took so long to reply, was at university.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 31/03/2012 19:08

Foxy, could you go round pawnbrokers and secondhand shops to see if your necklace has been pawned or sold? If it's been sold out of desperation, I imagine whoever it was has gone to the most local place.

What does it look like? Was it expensive? Did it look expensive?

Original poster

Foxy800 · 31/03/2012 19:46

Thats the thing, the earrings may have sold but I doubt the necklace would get anything at all, it was battered out of shape completely and to be honest even looked cheap and tacky!! It is the sort of thing that if I saw it in a shop now, I wouldnt even look at it, obviously not if looking round pawnshops etc for mine, theoretically if I was looking for any necklace.

I have kept it purely for the sentimental value attached to them and the history attached to it. I am gutted and also feeling awful for doubting people I care about!!!

If it was dp I dont get why as his debts were sorted out by family members helping him and clearing it for him. Unless it is a simple case of he cant manage his monthly bills.

I just dont know what to think. Have pulled mine and dd's rooms apart in the hope of finding them.

OP posts:

Flip