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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask you what I shall reply to this email?

119 replies

BornToShopForcedToWork · 30/03/2012 21:39

We are looking for somebody who come with us on holiday to Spain for a week, to help us for a maximum of 5h a day but it will be always be less unless something unexpected happens in return for flights, a room, food und a reasonable salary. The only duties are preparing breakfast for four people, and driving us down to the beach/whatever activity we do and pick us up in the evening and cook an easy and healthy meal. Some nights we will go out for a dinner and we won't go every day to the beach but stay in the little village where the house is. The main reason we need somebody is because nobody of us drives and we looked for somebody local but didn't have any luck. The person would have the whole day between roughly 11am until 5/6ish off and could either join us at the beach or do whatever she/he fancies.

I have now received a very nasty email from somebody who applied to the ad on Gumtree and I don't know what to reply. Shall I be nice or not?

That's the email:

5 hour a day x 7 days - 35 hours a week this is NOT a free holiday are you nuts?! Or are you tight?!
As they say there is no such thing as a free lunch; a holiday = a rest!
This is slave labour while you get chaffured around and the person works like a slave with split hours and at your beck and call!!!!! Funny how you don't know any one personally friend, family, neighbour or someone through someone that has taken you up on your "wonderful offer", I wonder why?
Oh I can just imagine.. could you just do this, could you just do that oh and by the way while you are sweeping the room with a broom up your backside could you just do that! I have worked for people like this before!
You can get a package deal for three hundred pounds all inclusive to Spain.
Honestly the new monied people = no class!
I am also sure that this is legal under EEC regs!
Good luck!

OP posts:
LibrarianByDay · 30/03/2012 23:21

I agree with Rhinos!

Pandemoniaa · 31/03/2012 00:11

I think you have confused things with your inclusion of the words "free holiday" because, to be fair, it's not really a free holiday you are offering is it?

The person would be working a 35 hour week with the middle of the day off. However, if they have to be up to prepare your breakfast and drive you around and then expected to be cooking suppers and the like in the evening, it's not really what most people would call a holiday.

I can see the job being quite inviting but don't confuse it with a holiday. It's a paid job with a long lunchbreak.

I'd ignore the email, btw. Answering it will most probably kick off a pointless cycle of confrontational messages.

AwkwardMary · 31/03/2012 00:21

Why don't you look at Au Pair agencies...contact them? They will have nice checked girls and one MUST be free for a week...one who can drive.

it's not a free holiday though.

AwkwardMary · 31/03/2012 00:22

You need to be clearer...stop minimising the duties and you might get a decent offer. Don''t use Gumtree though!

differentnameforthis · 31/03/2012 06:43

Kind of agree with the person who messaged you, actually.. I know that will unpopular, but

Why do you need the breakfast things on the table for when you wake? If it is that important, put them there before you go to sleep. And cooking for you? Really?

If you want to be waited on, go all inclusive. Or perhaps learn to drive (realise that won't help this time) or taxis, or public transport. But to me, you sound entitled, like someone should run around after you & that they should bloody enjoy it too...I'm guessing you're a cleaner/housekeeper or nanny/au pair & want some of what you spend your day doing (ie being a slave) running around after people.

differentnameforthis · 31/03/2012 06:51

And agree again, with it not being a "free holiday". It's a short term job, with a few hours during the day where the employee may be able to do something for themselves, if neither you nor your mates need them to prepare lunch/dinner/breakfast/draw a bath for each of you/turn back your beds/do your washing etc.

Tell me, would said employee have to wash the dishes too? And tidy up after all meals? Perhaps hoover? (all that sand after all), wash & dry wet bathers/towels.

So, make breakfast (whenever you decide to actually get up), drop you & your friends off where-ever you like) get back, tidy up breakfast stuff, tidy up generally, prepare dinner. Have their lunch, have a short break, collect you, cook dinner, wash up/tidy up after dinner, maybe make supper/clean up after that.

Yeah, fab holiday that! I already do all that at home only it's called raising children Hmm so I know that I would pass on that one.

SaraBellumHertz · 31/03/2012 06:57

Well it's not a free holiday but not sure why the vitriol? Some people are waaaay to chippy

differentnameforthis · 31/03/2012 06:58

Also, you don't actually know who you are going to be taking, do you? So are you going to take all valuables (money, passports, jewellery, cameras, phones, camcorders etc) out every day? Because you never know, but you could find yourself robbed & stuck at the beach the first day, if your slave help has the where-with all to rob you & change the date on the return ticket, they could be back home before you have even got your sunscreen on!

ilikecandyandrunning · 31/03/2012 07:38

I agree you need to change the wording a bit and the suggestion about trying an au pair agency is good too. Make it one thing or the other - it is a bit in-between at the moment.
Am still bemused at all the choppiness you are getting here though!

cookiesnap · 31/03/2012 07:53

I have been offered something similar twice before - once by a friend, once by a semi-employer. Neither offered a salary though - they really did think it was a holiday for me (it wouldn't have been!) OP's offer sounds completely fair and something that would suit a lot of people. The TA suggestion is great, as is the au pair agency.

I would take out the holiday mention in the ad, though.

DPrince · 31/03/2012 08:21

Regarding the email don't reply. The rest confuses me. If you know people who live there/go all the time, I am sure they would know someone local (a housekeeper for example) who would be willing to do this. I, personally, would not take some random from gumtree on holiday. You have no idea who they are or what they are like.
I am not surprised, someone got pissy about the ad. Although if it were me I would have just clicked to the next one. But some people feel the need to do things like send this email. It does come across as your doing them a favour. Which your not, its a job. I do agree that if your paying them, and duties are pre agreed, its fine to ask them to set out breakfast. I think its weird but, its your money.

skybluepearl · 31/03/2012 08:42

Is there an agancy in the town that might know of someone?

hairytaleofnewyork · 31/03/2012 08:48

How are you going to safeguard your family against knicker sniffing murderers, OP?

Figarello · 31/03/2012 09:10

I think if the OP and her group want someone to cook & drive for them and they are paying someone for it, then that is their choice. There is a lot of inverted snobbery about, which is very obviously on display on this thread.

However, although duties and salary seem pretty fair to me, it is most definitely not a free holiday! And no way would I take a random stranger from Gumtree on holiday with me.

You have until August to sort this out. You have family and friends locally - push more to find a local driver/cook. Or pay for cabs. Or do an intensive driving course & get a licence.

Figarello · 31/03/2012 09:12

Oh and I nearly forgot...don't reply to the email. Never engage with nutters Wink

PooPooInMyToes · 31/03/2012 09:21

Wow people are so judgey on here.

It might not a job a lot of you would want to do but many probably would.

The man doesn't sound right in the head.

Goawaybob · 31/03/2012 10:02

salary depending on qualifications - i have a PhD, does that mean i get more? You do realise you are only going to get weirdos replying to this, most normal people are going to think its a scam. I would approach an agency if i were you. I just find it all a bit odd

lostboysfallin · 31/03/2012 10:40

Bloody hell.
I would have jumped at the chance to do this when I was single.
Flights, accom and pay
Yes please
My sister might do it, she's crb checked, volunteers as teaching assistant, is great fun with kids
Will show her the ad

kickingKcurlyC · 31/03/2012 11:00

'Knicker sniffing murderers'. Haha.

QuintessentialShadows · 31/03/2012 11:09

Hmm Are you nuts?

See, how one nutter attracts another one.

You dont drive, you book a holiday far from the beach.

You are not able to grab a sandwich or pour cereals into a bowl and make a cuppa.

You dont want to eat out.
You dont want to get a taxi.
But hire a car for a stranger is fine?

You want a stranger from Gumtree come and live with your family for free just to pour cereals and drop you off to the beach, and cook a dinner at home.

And for free?

The person replying to your ad has a point! He/she is rude, but has a point!

pictish · 31/03/2012 11:17

It is not a free holiday. Not whatsoever.
It is a week's work.
You are completely underestimating how much work you are expecting your 'guest' to do, and how long it will take.

I think you ought to be clearer on your advert.

As for the email...ignore it.

edam · 31/03/2012 11:19

Strikes me as a chalet maid kind of role. But people generally do chalet maiding because they get to ski - what would attract someone to your post?

iwanttogetoffnow · 31/03/2012 11:22

I would die for a "job" like that a bit work you are paid and plenty of time to get a tan. Sounds like heaven. (married with twins) sorry I wish I could help.
I see nothing wrong with the idea of not wanting to cook and wash up when you are on hol as long as you are paying for the priviledge. If I could afford it I would do the same thing.
Also agree a TA would prob jump at the chance.
Good luck.

Original poster
BornToShopForcedToWork · 31/03/2012 12:24

QuintessentialShadows

We didn't book a holiday, I have friends and family in the village and we have a house there. If I could rely on friends and family we wouldnt need to take somebody with us but they are working etc. and cant commit for a whole week driving four people around. I was on my own last year and in three weeks I managed to go to the beach twice because nobody could give me a lift. Maybe I worded it wrong, its not a free holiday but the person has plenty of time during the day etc. we also dont need her to drive everyday as we do stay in the village one or two days and have dinner there. Then the person would be off after breakfast.

OP posts:
FrankWippery · 31/03/2012 12:33

How far from the beach are you if a taxi there and back costs ?60 each way? Where I lived in Spain (in the expensive south), a ?60 taxi journey would be what I would expect to pay for a 40 mile journey there. You must be a very long way from the beaches.