to think that Prep schools will do/say what they think the paying parent wants?

[Toocynical]

My dc are at prep school I am happy with the school, bar the feeling that the school will only tell me what they think I want to hear and not the truth.

I'm proud of my dc, and as their parent I believe they are fantastic at everything they do, however part of me suspects that just like me they may have their faults and not be perfect at everything. But whatever I ask the school they tell me 'oh x is fantastic at that'.

Now this week I suspect that my thoughts have been confirmed. Six parents this week want their child to start music lessons next term, each one of them has told me independently of the other parent almost word for word what the head of music has told them: 'We are full in music lessons, but your child is outstanding in music, and is outperforming the rest of the class, and I will make adjustments and your child will be having music lessons after the holidays.' And the lessons have been found for all 6 children.

We have also had it with sport, when 4 (that I know of) children were not selected for the sports practices, they were told: 'Your child outperforms the other children, but we had to let the less able children partake, so we weren't including your child, but because of their outstanding ability, we want them part of the squad, so we will make availability for them'.

AIBU to not believe this, and to think that the school didn't choose them because there were other children who were better for the squad, but didn't want to upset these parents so put them in?

Is this the school saying what the parents want to hear only?

As my DD's school excluded two children this term as their mother's demands on the school became so excessive I would have to say that you are not correct. I feel the school will tell me the truth even when it is not terribly palatable.

Our school is brutally honest.

My ds's school is certainly not like that

Certainly not the case with DD's school. They are brutally honest about her strengths and weaknesses - any delusion I had that my child is gifted was washed away very quickly

I prefer this as it means that they identify any diffiulties and then work with parents to resolve them. Further up the school places in choir, sports squads etc. are all in keen competition and the child has to be good to get in - its certainly not automatic to please the paying parent

I think when there is the pressure of entrance exams to senior schools to consider any prep school that wasn't honest with parents would be in big trouble.

Not my experience either.

Our prep school has been BRUTALLY honest (fair, but brutal! )

Well, in OP's example, the music example is a holding line whilst they find another peripatetic teacher.

For sport at prep level, aside from a few stars (who probably play a lot outside school), there won't be that much difference between the children, so I don't rule out the possibility of swoppng in and out of teams to keep more people happy. Or it's a holding line whilst they find a spare coach or PE undergraduate so they can have more children in the squad.

What do they say about any other activites? And about academic progress? Who gets the parts in school plays? And is the choir by audition or open to all?

Very odd approach by the school.
And very unprofessional.

Choir is open to all.

School plays are auditions for the main parts, but everyone who wants to be is included in the play.

Academic they don't compare the children (this frustrates me!!), and don't do NC, so I have no idea how my dc compare to their peers in class or the wider popluation.