Aibu to worry about my dh becoming a house husband

[HidingInTheBathroom]

Ok didn't know where to put this but need help. Me and my dh work full time at the minute and have a nanny. However working the finances out we will be better off if my dh stayed at home and looked after the dc full time and I went to work full time.
We have had big problems with the nanny not turning up and letting us down. So we have had a look at the money and it works out better if my dh stayed at home.
This would be great for me as I know my dc are well looked after an will be happy. He is good at doing household duties so there will be no quarms on that department.
My only concern is will he start resenting me for working and him being stuck at home all day. Will I start resenting him for spending all the time with the kids when I will hardly see them.
Has any one done this or able to tell me what's best. If it was the other way round I would love to be at home with the kids but my business can not aloy me to. My dh hates his job and wants to be with the kids.
Really don't know what to do for the best.

Tough one!!

If your DH hates his job though he must be pretty unhappy anyway so could you not maybe try it out for a while and see. Surely, he is better off spending his time with his children than in an office or whatever hating every second.

Sort of a case of suck it and see? (Sorry, that sounds so wrong!)

Dont know other than that as you will never know until you try it.

The other thing is if he gives his job up and this does not work out he may struggle to find work in this economical climate.

For the best? I'd go for it.

I don't think it's any different to him going out to work and then you worrying that he'll resent you for spending all the time with the kids and him not seeing them.

You'll be financially better off, your children will have stability instead of a nanny who can't be relied upon and your housework will be done!

If it becomes a problem in a few months, then have another think about it, but I don't think that you should let potential problems in a few months put you off giving it a bash.

can he take some unpaid parental leave to try it out first?

I did think that Hidden but if he hates his job anyway ???

Blubberyboo can you do that?

When I wasn't happy as a SAHM, I didn't resent my DH for putting me in that position, I felt resentful towards a childcare culture that prices many people out of the job market.

You shouldn't end up feeling resentful either; whether they're with DH or a nanny, you won't be seeing them any more or less than before, will you? At least with DH at home you know they're well taken care of.

Ultimately it's his decision whether he wants to give it a go, I suppose.

My husband does the majority of our childcare in that he finishes work at 10am - technically we don't need childcare. We do however use it because we feel that if either parent is home ft they'll end up a little hat-stand.

Caveat to that - we live overseas with no family support, so we don't ever otherwise get a break.

It's very much a personal choice IMO.

Neither dh nor I could be a sahp even if we were financially better in the short term.

We both love working and would worry about the longer term career prospects of not working.

I think this sentence My dh hates his job and wants to be with the kids. would make the decision for me.
If it were purely financial, or he were doing it 'becuse it made sense on paper' but wasn't really convinced, then that might be different, but I can't see why you wouldn't go down this path, given everything you describe.

I've told him he will have to learn to cook as the kids can't live of but ties every day . I think we need a good talk before he hands in his notice and If it we go ahead with this I'm looking forward to not as much housework

I think families who can manage with one parent as full time child carer are fantastically lucky.

I would say its a no brainier as your dh hates his job.

Do you think he'll enjoy it? I'd worry about getting back into the job market, to be honest.

As he says work in a factory all day or be with his dc there is one clear winner his kids. Soon our youngest will get a grant to go to preschool for a few hours a week he says he might be able to go to college then.
He has not got much academically as he left school with a few gcse's and always wanted a opportunity to improve them.

So he has made his mind up that's what he wants to do.

Fingers crossed it all works well and I'm not coming on here in a few months saying its all gone tits up.

Wish us luck

My DP is a house husband, he has been since before we had our first (but my second) DC. He hated his job too It works for us. Financially, I have much greater earning potential than he does, so it just makes sense. We can manage on my salary so the littlies don't need childcare. DS does go to his funded sessions at preschool, and will start school in September. DD2 will start school in 2014, and then I think he'll look for a job, but one that means he can still be there for the children after school.

I hope it works out for you, good luck!

My DH is a SAHP. 99% of the time it's great but there have been some issues.

He has been really made to feel welcome by SAHMs at the toddler groups who see him as a novelty.

College sounds like a great idea, something to give him a sense of achievement outside of looking after the kids.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.