to stop buying birthday presents?

[Newmummytobe79]

We've had a few special birthdays in our family in the past year and there are a few more coming up (seems all the 'adults' are turning 60/65/70 all at once) P.S I know all birthdays are special! :)

We've always bought presents for Aunties, Uncles and Cousins but the buying seems to have stopped on one side of the family. I would feel uncomfortable just buying a card (as they do) but after spending more than usual on special birthday gifts and what really wound me up! making an effort to go out and buy a gift 1.5 weeks over my due date so I didn't miss their birthday - I feel that all the effort is one sided.

I'd like to give them the excuse of lack of funds - but that's not the case.

Should I just take this as an unwritten sign that we're not buying gifts anymore?

Yes. And stop martyring yourself!

Yes, just stop. You don't have to give any reason - they haven't. If the matter is raised at all just say 'oh I thought we'd stopped doing it'

Yep. Sucks doesn't it? We have this in my family, my parents haven't acknowledged my birthday since I was a teenager, not a card, nothing. In consequence I also don't acknowledge them either. DHs family, OTOH, go over the top, with birthday, christmas, easter etc... asking weeks before what we might like, with extra little chocolates or books included in the present.

I find both extremes faintly embarrassing but at least I know where I stand I suppose.

Best thing you can do is stop wasting money on your family as they obviously don't appreciate it at all.

Yes I'd just get a nice card! If you feel empty handed perhaps chuck in a box of chocolates too. I know you're not giving a present to receive a present but still if it's all one sided there's not much point is there.

I'm tight though, I only buy for immediate family and im trying to get DH to spend less on friends. Once a precedent is set it's hard to break out of it!

aunties and uncles in our familiy stopped buying for children when they were 16 and nobody buys for aunties or cousins . past adulthood , although i have bought a little something for special Birthdays 40 ths 60ths and an aunt who was 70 last year , but i regifted a posh bottle of redwine and bought her some flowers from a flower stall in town so i think i spent under a tenner , dont do it if you feel its ended it is to expensive , Its my mums 60thh today so i have splashed out for that ,

I don't send birthday cards/ presents to anyone other than parents, children and siblings. I don't know when my friend's birthdays are until they have had them and don't celebrate mine or DH's!