To tell DD someone's a bad person

[Happydogsaddog]

If that someone is B's ex gf(mother of my niece)????
Back story, I don't get on with with B or his gf (they're on and off) she is quite poisonous, likes to make up lies and unfortunately at one point we were friends so people have believed her. I don't talk to her or my extremely immature and disloyal brother (he gets off on a bit of shitstirring and likes to watch drama unfold)

Now, DD (3) is asking about aunties, cousins, mummy's brothers, sisters etc. and her cousin came up, "yes DD she is your cousin" "and what about @&£@, is she your sister?" "no DD she's not very nice" I never planned on saying it, it just slipped out (opposed to "no DD she's a c@nt" anyway)

Aibu to tell a 3yo the truth, chances are she will have no contact with any of them sadly, I just can't take it back and nor do I want to :S

My heart says one thing: yes absolutely
My head says another: its not ladylike to slag off adults to children

MN jury, over to you....

What's said is said, but you don't really want to burden a toddler with this kind of thing, do you? I wouldn't repeat it, and if DD mentions them again just say "she's my brother's girlfriend / partner and no I don't think we'll see them any time soon." Then change the subject.

Thanks minshu you're probably right, its just balancing that gnawing feeling of being frustrated and wanting to lash out with 'breathe in, breathe out' being a mum and good role model. Aargh anger eats us up in the end

If she isn't going to see her then she doesn't have to know this. Toddlers don't like to think that people in a family don't like each other and it is not a safe place to be, distract her if it comes up again.

I have very toxic family members and tbh, my children (one adult, two teenagers) have all not taken my advice and had to find out for themselves.

Thanks bird I know its a long while off but that scares me too, sometimes I wish I was an only child, I'm probably feeling quite defensive and protective right about now, I don't want my LOs around any animosity which is probably hypocritical considering what I said but that's what they do best. I'm staying well away and consigning them to the "be pitied basket"