to think my friend is mad to have a baby with a guy she's known for 6 weeks?

[littlemissjudgmentaliknow]

so she was obviously keen to have a child, despite assurances that she wasn't ...but she's only gone and got herself pregnant by a guy she met on the internet within 6 weeks of knowing him. he's now moved in and they're playing happy families...but it's all SO practical..no big whirlwind romance/love in..in fact they are not even sleeping together now...they are just making arrangements to be the best parents in the world (as you do when expecting your first!) i can't help but think she wouldn't have given him a second glance a few years back and that she's going to end up really unhappy with him once the realities of parenting hit home..of course it's none of my business really but i wondered if anyone has been through a similar experience and had any success stories to share??

It can work out...but it's rare.
My mate S got pg on the first night with with J. They have been together 15 years and have three kids now.

Success ratings can only be based on luck, surely? Rather than sound judgement?

I know a woman who has had a baby with every man she had a relationship with since she was 16 and was pregnant with 2 of her Children within 3 months , She is now pregnant with no 4 It happens i spose doesnt mean the relationship will work but maybe it will you can only be there for friends ,

I know it sounds awful but one of our friends broke up with another friend last year, started seeing someone new and she fell pregnant immediately and I just knew it wouldn't work. He's 25, goes clubbing/drinking most weekends, only holds down a job because he works for his father's business etc etc. In other words, completely not ready to be a father, no idea what was about to hit him and not mature enough to step up to the plate. In true form we bumped into him last week with another girl in his car and he told us they'd broken up.

Another couple I know who fell pregnant quickly (about six months) are now married with a second child. But they are both fairly placid, responsible people anyway (I know him best and he is practically a saint) and they seem to have similar values so in my straw poll of um, two, I conclude that it depends entirely on the type of person you are dealing with.

Gosh and I thought I was fast after getting pregnnat after 6 months of being with my man. Didn't work out for ma though and I can definately see the apppeal of having a few years of child free fun before kids.

Good friends of mine met online, married and bay on the way very quickly. Now that 'baby' is 8, they have a 6 year old and are as in love as the day they met.

People who have been friends for life can marry and start a family and it all goes tits up, so if she's happy, what's so wrong with that?

didn't work for me I should say!

I was pregnant (entirely unplanned) with DS2 within 6 weeks of meeting my Ex.

6 months after that we got engaged, another 6 months and we bought a house together.

18 months in I realised he was an abusive arsehole. it then took me another 6 years to work out a way to leave.

Had it not been for the baby we would have lasted a year or so max, we had nothing in common and totally different values. Having said that despite all I went through I have never regretted DS2 for a second, and my life would be immeasurably poorer without him and DS1 (who was also the accidental result of a whirlwind romance. I was ridiculously fertile in my 20s )

Well, I can understand your concerns OP, it is undoubtably very fast but that doesn't necessarily mean it wont work. I think if that had happened to my and my DP (unlikely to concieve in first few weeks as we are gay!!!) we would have been fine. We were made for each other and maybe they are too! I hope things work out well for them.

I hope my daughters don't do this, It's too big a risk. I know women who had children with complete twats as teenagers, 15 years later they are responsible wonderful mothers who have to hand their DC over to twats every other weekend and it breaks their hearts. At least they had being young as an excuse.

It could go either way but it is done now. Just we there an be her friend in whatever way needed. My sister was pregnant in the first month of a new relationship and they are still together with another 8 years on, but for every happy story there is probably a sad one.

I don't have daughters but if I did I would far rather they had a child (if they wanted one) with a guy who turned out to be a tosser than didn't have one at all.

My son's fathers both leave much to be desired. However I also have 5/6 friends my age (39) and older who are childless because they are still waiting for the right man to come along (or in the case of some in their mid/late 40s because they met him too late). I would far rather be in my shoes than theirs.

I got pregnant with dd1 after 1 week with dp. She is nearly 7 now and we're still together and have dd2 now. Everyone had something to say about it, and of course it wasn't an ideal situation but it can work out.
Mind your own, I say :)

Well, I hope none of my three children do this, as it is fraught with risk. However their father and I did it and as I posted earlier, it worked for us. .

Maybe our ages helped, I was 31 and DH 41, with a broken (childless) marriage behind him. So I suppose we had a certain amount of life experience to draw on.

I was pregnant 6 weeks after meeting my (now) DH!! Aged 26 and 27

We have 3 children and have been married 6 years now and we really are so happy.

I'm glad it happened this way, I'd have planned forever if not!!

You know, I totally disagree that it's not the OP's business. A close friend of mine made a similarish decision (not involving a baby, thank goodness) and while at the time I thought she was making a dreadful mistake, I said nothing. I could kick myself now, as it blew up in her face and has left her financially crippled and periodically depressed. She had previously owned a lovely flat and had a great job, and was very happy.

So I believe it is our responsibility as loving friends to tell our friends lovingly but firmly what we think they need to hear, then let them do with it what they like. But the 'it's none of my business' approach is bullshit.

similar story -yes, positive outcome - my child, father - twatbadger

MayaAngelCool, it is none of her business.

people tend to not listen to advice, even if you had told her she most probably not had listened

I think DH and I probably knew each other about six weeks before deciding we wanted to have a child together. In fact it might be less, we got engaged after six weeks, people said it would never last and in June we celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary

But I definitely didnt settle...

Although if you went by mn sometimes, most women appear to be mad to be having babies with any men at any time!

TBH the fact shes not wildly overwhelmed by romance might mean shes a lot clearer headed about the whole thing than if she was 21 and madly in love me

even the op admits it's none of her business

All you can do about it is say nothing, hope that it has a happy ending and be there if it doesn't. Far easier to turn to a friend who didn't say it wouldn't work than one who supported you.

FWIW one of my best friends met a man, fell in love, he proposed after two weeks, they were married after three months. That was 29 years ago and they have always been exceptionally happy. Everyone thought it was doomed.

Mchappy, advice should always be held lightly by the giver. We should not expect people to listen, take on board what we say, and act upon it: that would be extremely egotistical.

If a friend told me lovingly that they thought I was heading for a car crash, regardless of whether I heeded their advice or not, I would consider them a truer friend than those who weren't brave enough to tell me what I didn't want to hear.

a friend was with her partner for 10 years all happy..then she got pregnant so he fucked off

u can never tell how any ones relationship will work out nor should you even try

i wud let your friend make her own choices

I met DP nearly 5 years ago, the first time we had sex I got pregnant. I told DP he could walk away if he wanted as I wouldn't abort but wanted him to have some kind of choice too. Anyway 5 years and 2ds later we are now happily trying for number 3.

I truly believe we wouldn't have stayed together if I hadn't got pregnant but the unconventional start to our relationship has resulted in a happy little family.