to be shocked and worried?

[biddysmama]

I havent name changed because i dont want people thinking im a troll

At the weekend i found a picture my 10 year old drew of man and women having oral sex, he has aspergers and draws everything

i spoke to him about it and he said 2 boys at school told him about it and a website they saw it on, eventually admitting that he'd looked at the website once on grandads computer (i thought he was supervised on the computer,he is at home!)

The head teacher knows about it but i havent heard anyting back yet

my mum seems to think its not too bad, am i over reacting to be worried about wat he has seen and think that its too much for a 10 year old? he'll not be going to grandads for a while!

You're not overreacting. He shouldn't have been checking out that kind of website, obviously, grandad's computer needs some controls and supervision, your mum should be a little less blase... and well done for alerting the teacher to the other boys. Some kids like to shock others with things they've seen or heard. Others (sadly) might be talking from personal experience. Always worth flagging.

I suspect grandad didn't think he even knew about sites like that so wouldn't have realised that a 10 year old boy might look for porn that his school mates had told him about. Surely all that is needed is a ban from using the computer at Grandad's.

I would be upset if my son came home at aged 10 having been told about oral sex and pornography at school (DS1 is 8) however, I wouldn't be totally surprised. Unfortunately, you can't control what other children find out about (especially if they have older siblings) and they will share this information probably as a form of bravado.

I think you were right to raise it with the school as well.

It happens to a lot of us, he's only curious, it's just too bad it's so easy for him to access the info online. Talk about it calmly, what's inappropriate about that material for someone his age, put some controls in place, move on. Keep in mind what he can access with his DSi, XBox or phone in future, they'll need controls, too, though you can't control what he sees on his friends' phones etc. :(

When my son was about 10 he typed in something like 'sexy women' and 'boobs' on the computer. I don't think he'd been influenced by older kids, more likely boys his own age and was curious. I was really shocked though.

If your son has picked this up and this graphic from school, they need to address it. I would be furious if I was in your position.

It sounds to me that your son was curious, grandad wouldn't have given Internet protection a second thought, but at least you've found out through his drawings and can act. Download K9 Internet protection it's free too!

10's a funny age for these things. I remember we definitely joked about 69ers and suchlike in the playground at that age, whether we properly understood or not, and there was much excitement about porn mags discovered in the field. I guess it's even more prevalent now with websites and would agree that controls are needed, but as long as you talk to him about it and he understands what it and isn't appropriate, then I'm not sure what there is to be worried about - anything tangible or just the fact that it's in his head? It doesn't mean he's going to do anything, does it? Sorry if I sound laissez-faire. I just think kids of that age have always been fascinated by this stuff.

Kids have always been interested in sex around the age of 10and younger.

But older people and i include myself, in my 40's need to realise the type of porn easily available on the web. In mainstream web sites there is bondage and rape/rough sex porn and this needs to be kept in check until a understanding of an average/respectful sex live have been gained.

Allporn sites are geared to a certain male fantasy and that is not something that young boys should be looking at. Pictures are not as graphic as videos, that is what has changed.

You mum needs a reality check on the internet.

I think this is very much a case of boys will be boys curiosity - but ewwww, yuck :( It does make me mad that this sort of stuff is so accessible.

Forgive me if im making massive assumptions here, but if your son has aspergers could it be that he is actually a bit of a computor whizz and has managed to override firewalls and parental controls on the other computor?

I tend to to think its niavety on the part of the GPs to be fair, i remember years ago when South park first came out and DD1 told me she had watched it at a visit to her GPs (she often stayed most friday and sat nights) and i was and told my mum that it was really not the sort of thing i wanted my DD to be watching, i suppose she would have been about the same age as your son, maybe a few years older - my mum just said "oh, no, south park is ok, its a cartoon!" I asked if she had actually watched it? "no, dont be silly, its for kids" Mum, its on at 11.45pm, do you REALLY think its for kids? .

Good that you have got the school on board, im sure it will all work out.

A friend of mine was horrified once when her son got into trouble for looking at porn on the school computors - everyone was but i ran into this lad recently - a strapping 25yo man now who works with young offenders and is just a lovely guy. I think someone upthread nailed it when they said that its the videos that are so worrying, i suppose in my day, pre computors the lads would probably all chip in together to buy a copy of Hustler - its just curious, its just a shame that their curiosity these days will lead them to some pretty bloody dark corners of the internet :(

Have to say that I agree it's natural curiosity.

I remember cleaning in my sons room when he was about your childs age OP and just happened to notice one of my sons posters was lacking a couple of drawing pins at the bottom. Have no idea why I did this intuition maybe but lifted it up to discover loads of cut out piccys from a sunday suppliment bravissimo mag

I think as some of the other posters have said the problem isn't that he is reaching an age where he is starting to get curious about women and sex but that these days the material children can access through the internet is so much more explicit and extreme than would have been available 3 decades ago when I was a similar age.