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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a little annoyed at the teacher

28 replies

laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 07:19

Year 2 (not even ds' teacher but the "head of infants") apparently grilling ds about his home situation.

Apparently he was yawning in the morning and not concentrating well so she told him he obvioulsy wasnt getting enough sleep and asked him what time he goes to bed. Then he was told to report tomorrow about ny disruptions to his sleep and was asked if it was noisy in the houe when he goes to bed etc.

The child goes to bed 7-7.30 every night and doesnt wake until 7.30 am (sometimes 7 tbh). Ive always been strict on bedtie so am a little annoyed.

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JustHecate · 29/03/2012 07:21

perhaps she was boring him Wink

Dustinthewind · 29/03/2012 07:23

It's the end of term, I'm trying not to yawn in class and nap in the staffroom.

laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 07:24

You could be right re being bored. I find he workd best first thing in the morning so we tend to do maths homework then (not every morning)...so Im not sure whats she's on about.

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laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 07:24

My keyboard is stuffed, sorry about typos

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Dustinthewind · 29/03/2012 07:26

She might be spotting a number of tired children within her school and worrying that they are not getting enough sleep. Perhaps she's said the same thing to a dozen children.

Bratella · 29/03/2012 07:28

don't take it personally. Teachers are meant to care about these things. Imagine if there was something stopping a child from sleeping - who else is there in a 5-6 year olds life to pick it up? (yes, I'm a teacher - secondary. Yes, I have done this. Yes, there was a problem. Yes, once the kid had laptop and TV etc removed from bedroom and proper routine he slept better. Yes he is doing better at school.) Not saying this is your case - but its best to check - no?

SoupDragon · 29/03/2012 07:30

That's not really grilling is it? She didn't pin him up against a wall and shine a bright light in his eyes. She's just wondering if he'sOK.

DaffodilsAhoy · 29/03/2012 07:31

This makes me angry. We don't care/we're interfering, teachers just cannot win. I would ask an exhausted child who can't focus when they go to bed and would not expect an angry parent accusing me of 'grilling' him. Teachers are often the first to spot children who are neglected/abused and if we have concerns about a child we will make a note. A child being tired at this point of term would not concern me but a child who is consistently exhausted would ring alarm bells.
Being asked to report was probably more like 'now let me know if you have really good night's sleep tonight' Hmm

laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 07:31

I know, reading back on my OP I can see Im being a little senstitive and ALBU. It did feel like a personal criticism when he told me though Blush

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Whateveryousaymustberight · 29/03/2012 07:32

If he was only tired on that particular day, then maybe she was over-zealous. Why don't you ask her? It could be that she thinks he seems tired very frequently. In that case, he may not be sleeping as soundly as you think. I wouldn't get offended if I were you. Well, not until you have listened to her side of the conversation, anyhoo.

jamdonut · 29/03/2012 07:32

Standard question these days....so many children are yawning and listless in class. Has to be asked because of the extra duty of care that school staff have with "Every Child Matters". What if it turns out something was really amiss? Who would get it in the neck for not following it up?

Don't take it personally.

laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 07:32

By the way, the teacher could have asked me as Im at the school regularly 9doing reading group, school trips and meetings)

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laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 07:35

and he has to report on whether or not the shower drips tonight.....

I know IABU, I just got a surprise at the line of questioning.

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jamdonut · 29/03/2012 07:59

Then I think he was just trying to be funny...

lesley33 · 29/03/2012 08:25

The teacher probably didn't ask you because at this stage she doesn't knwo if thsi si actually an issue. She is just asking your DC afew questions to check it out. If she thought there was an issue, I suspect she would talk to you then.

Don't take it as a criticism, she is just checking out everything is okay. Lots of children these days don't get enough sleep - don't kids sleep on average an hour less than just 20 years ago? So it is a fair enough question to ask. If he seems tired generally and its not just a one off, I'm sure she will talk to you.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/03/2012 08:54

Why isn't that an appropriate question? I think teachers should ask it when they have yawning, inattentive children in class. A note should go to the parents to to let them know that their child needs more sleep and to please see to it that they get it.

Why would you be annoyed? Confused

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 29/03/2012 09:15

I can see how to those parents who have good bedtime routines etc would find it a little shocking/ intrusive but as there's nothing to hide then you don't need to worry :) its lovely the teacher cares so much rather than just letting a kid sit at the back yawning and ending up behind. If it helps even just one kid then that's not a bad thing. :)

Coconutty · 29/03/2012 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headinhands · 29/03/2012 09:39

It seems maybe that because you are a parent helper you feel your home life should be beyond any questioning. Well it never should be, if a child is exhibiting tiredness I think the teacher is allowed to ask regardless of how involved and 'good' the parents are.

TroublesomeEx · 29/03/2012 09:40

Don't take it personally.

It's annoying because it feels like a personal attack, but it isn't. It's the schools job to educate and also to (increasingly) be aware of situations at home that are impacting negatively on the child's progress - which is linked to their concentration.

Most children get a bit sleepy in the afternoon - body directing resources to digesting lunch, and a busy morning all contribute, which is why most schools will timetable numeracy and literacy for the morning and topic work for the afternoon. We also do DD's homework in the morning before school because she's just too tired in the evening.

I think good parents, who prioritise their children and have good routines, do feel 'got at' (me included and I'm a teacher too!) when this kind of thing happens.

I also think those same parents would be horrified and in disbelief at the situations some children do live in.

I often type out posts on threads giving (anonymous) detail about children and families I have encountered/worked with through teaching and working for SS. But then I delete them because I know that there are too many people on here that just, frankly, wouldn't believe it. And we're not talking of the level of startling abuse that makes the news, just low level but persistent thing. And often it manifests in children not getting enough sleep and being tired during the day.

Unfortunately, Ofsted don't accept that a child's homelife can impact on their progress and the school are still expected to show the same improvement. As a result sometimes teachers have to ask these questions.

It's annoying for all concerned!

laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 09:41

No, not at all headinmyhand, just available to ask.

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laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 09:42

Thanks folkgirl I totally accept that. Blush

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laptopdancer · 29/03/2012 09:43

btw I have just fixed the shower (got bloody soaked)

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lancelottie · 29/03/2012 09:44

Hard not to bristle, though, isn't it?

I had one of DD's teachers saying 'She seems a bit overwhelmed by out of school activities. Is she really up till 9 pm every evening?' and found myself blustering feebly about Guides' special events and her brother's end of term concert and a one-off band practice and and and...

Should just have said Yes, I think.

headinhands · 29/03/2012 09:45

Can't he talk for himself though laptop? You can't seriously tell the teachers to only talk to you if they have a passing concern about him without it looking a bit dodge.

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