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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

quiet coach with a toddler

31 replies

MrsMuddyPuddles · 28/03/2012 15:30

My family was assigned seats in the quiet coach. AIBU to use them? Would it be better to have looked for unreserved seats in another coach? (We've just been told off by am older gentleman who "can't focus " and so is "moving elsewhere") obviously we try and keep 2yo DD quiet, use earphones, and monitor to attitude of "new friends ", but were we unreasonable to sit in our assigned seats in the first place?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 28/03/2012 15:32

Er this is on a train

OP posts:
JustForMe · 28/03/2012 15:35

Yanbu if you wanted to use the seats but on the other hand if the train company don't know your bringing a toddler when you booked the tickets maybe you should have looked somewhere else first and then if you couldn't find anywhere use your reserved seats.

Nixea · 28/03/2012 15:37

I'd have questioned it at the time of allocation tbh.

Ephiny · 28/03/2012 15:38

Depends if your DD is able to be reasonably quiet - if she is, then she has as much right as anyone to be there. If she's a bit noisy (and it's fair enough that she might be, being a toddler!) I'd look for other seats.

It was a bit odd that you were given seats in the quiet coach without asking for them though, I would have thought that should be an opt-in type of thing. Or maybe the other coaches were fully booked?

NatashaBee · 28/03/2012 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizziebennet · 28/03/2012 15:39

Sorry, but YABU. A 2 year old is generally the opposite of quiet and most people will have chosen the quiet coach for a reason. OTOH, if you hadn't realised you would be allocated seats in the quiet coach, I think the conductor should have helped you find new seats, as those you'd been allocated were unsuitable.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/03/2012 15:39

Is the train busy? It's not your fault, but I don't think they should have given you reservations for there. But if there are no other unreserved seats where you are together YANBU to stay put.

eurochick · 28/03/2012 15:48

I think you should look for unreserved seats and move if you can. I would guess a lot of people in that coach will be trying to work and it is a minority of the train.

tethersend · 28/03/2012 15:56

East Coast, perchance?

They do this to me a lot, even though I request a seat for a three year old with a family railcard. You don't always know that you're in the quiet coach until you get on the train. They should ask if you have small children before assigning you seats in the quiet coach; although if the train is full, it's tough really.

Book online next time and you can choose your seats.

If the other passengers have an issue, they really should take it up with the company; you didn't deliberately book seats in the quiet coach to give other passengers a hard time that's just an added bonus.

PastGrace · 28/03/2012 16:01

I personally wouldn't have sat there in the first place, but they are your assigned seats so not that unreasonable.

If the train is busy find the train manager/conductor (should be either in a little cabin or walking up and down) and ask them to find you new seats because you feel that you are disrupting other passengers. They may help you with bags/upgrade you if they are feeling particularly nice!

littleducks · 28/03/2012 16:03

I don't think it's the best place to sit.

But they were announcing in my train recently that if you had reserved seats you had to sit on them or pay two fares. If your train is not as busy it is less of an issue.

Frontpaw · 28/03/2012 16:05

Did you request a Quiet coach? We just booked tickets and I did consider it for about 2 seconds before deciding that DS wasn't of the quiet type. I did request a table and socket though.

taxiforme · 28/03/2012 16:07

Most companies do this (GW do) I have often fallen foul of it when I need to work and use the phone. I just move as I am generally alone. It's not your fault but the company do need to manage it if they are getting complaints from other people who have booked in the expectation of P and Q.

If nowhere else together in standard then they should re seat you in first class Wink

eurochick · 28/03/2012 16:10

ducks how would they know you have a reserved seat if you are sitting in an unreserved one? Whenever I have a reserved seat the reservation is on a separate piece of paper to the ticket.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 28/03/2012 16:13

In the past I have found when booking train tickets online you get allocated in the quiet coach without specifically asking for the quiet coach and not realising until you get on board. One time was for a hen weekend in Leeds, a group of 8 hens (tickets all booked together) were allocated tickets in the quiet coach which we were unaware of until boarding and there was nowhere else we could all sit together. Some of the fellow passengers were annoyed but not with us as we explained we had no idea we had been allocated the quiet coach.

PastGrace · 28/03/2012 16:21

euro the "ticket" bit normally says somewhere that it is part 1 of 2 and they are only valid if you have both parts.

I've been asked to move by a conductor before - I was sitting the other side of the aisle from my reserved seat. The seat next to me was empty and there was one man in the seats the other side of the aisle (so out of the row of 4 seats, 2 were occupied - the two window seats). Woman and her toddler got on and sat in the unreserved seat next to me - I offered to move across the aisle so that the child could have his own seat, and she was very grateful. The conductor told me that "it is your seat and you can tell her to vacate it". I replied that I had no intention of telling her anything and had offered it to her and he walked off in a sulk.

northerngirl41 · 28/03/2012 16:50

If the toddler isn't quiet, you'll need to move her out of the carriage into the interconnecting bit - just like if you wanted to take a phone call etc. I'd definitely question it at time of booking/receiving tickets as otherwise you'll probably by trying to find the conductor (who seem to disappear instantly when there is a packed train or it's running late or there's some other problem!) and getting death stares from everyone else.

Bear in mind that a lot of people ask specifically for the quiet coach so it's not fair to disturb them just because you didn't bother to check the tickets.

NiniLegsInTheAir · 28/03/2012 16:55

YABU. With First Great Western you have to opt-in on the quiet coach, I always do it and it annoys me IMMENSELY when people come to the carriage with no intention of being quiet. Toddler or no toddler, I'd be asking you to move somewhere more appropriate.

As for the hen party, I'd expect them to still adhere by the 'rules' of the carriage. If they want to make a racket (as most do and there's nothing wrong with that), I'd expect them to go elsewhere. If they can't find a seat in a normal carriage, tough. Pay more attention when booking your tickets. I did - THAT's why I'm in the quiet carriage.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 28/03/2012 16:56

If your toddler has been making enough noise that someone else has complained and then moved, of course you should try and find somewhere else! I'm staggered tat you actually need to ask.

If the whole of the rest of the train is packed full, then it's ok for you to stay in your allocated seats, but if someone else was able to move, then I don't see why you can't.

ComposHat · 28/03/2012 17:04

This is one of my bugbears, I've had kids yelling and running up and down the aisle of the quiet coach whilst their parents took no action whatsoever.

Move - you should have sorted it out before getting on the train or failing that found an unallocated space in a non quiet carriage. Clearly she is causing a problem as a fellow traveller has complained.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 28/03/2012 17:44

Right, we'll try to avoid this situation in the future (dh was the one who booked and neither of us realized it was the quiet coach before boarding). I didn't know that I could ask to change seats :)
Incidentally, someone else commented that DD was remarkably well behaved for such a long journey and that we "shouldn't pay the other guy any mind".

OP posts:
tethersend · 28/03/2012 17:50

It's not always a case of 'not bothering to check the tickets'; quite often, it's a case of the train company not bothering to tell you that they have put you in the quiet coach.

Original poster
MrsMuddyPuddles · 28/03/2012 17:54

Ps it was tickets purchased online w Cross Country.

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 28/03/2012 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.