AIBU about whether or not this is responsible of Friends sister.

[lolaflores]

Please read this carefully as there are a few folk involved and I will try and maintain a level of clarity, but at some points it may be beyone me.

OK. My best friend's sister is getting married later this year. My friends DD and my DD have been bessies since pre school. So, my DD has been invited along on the hen do. No problems so far. The hen do is a weekend in Ibiza.
I do not see the point of 2 18 year olds being along on an almighty piss up weekend with grown women. The sister is a hardened drinker ( I was once but my liver said it would leave), so are the cousins and what have that are going.

I have said to DD that this is not really the sort of thing she should be going along to, that it is a lot of older women and what the fuck interest would she have in getting slaughtered with a load of auld ones? I cannot find a better arguement to keep her from going. She is 18 and can do as she wishes, but the whole scene makes me feel very worried. This lot are a gang of head the balls and I do not trust them to be in anyway sensible.

Do I sound terribly old and puritanical? I don't want to be , but the thoughts of this make me go cold. She had a girly holiday last year, the usual madness and survived so....
HELP

I can understand your concern and would no doubt be just as concerned if I was in your shoes, but remember that she is 18 and can make her own decisions. Explain your concerns to her, in a reasonable way, making sure she knows why you are worried. She may/ may not decide to go but at least she will be aware of your reasoning. I'd also make sure she has a mobile phone on her with plenty of top up and a whole load of "useful" phone numbers logged into it.

thats the thing isn't it, letting go. I am having awful images of police cells and accident departments. She has made her decision. Hope I don't have to do the "I told you so dance"

I would guess that the 2 younger ones (your DD and her friend) would find things more suited to them than the hardened drinker posse. Other than drinking too much is there anything actually wrong with the older women? I mean, I like a drink but I don't have any interest in plying teenagers with gin and fizz cocktails and watching them get nauseous and lachrymose.

Won't the older people look out for the youngsters?

Is your DD paying for it herself? If she is then, as you say, there's not much you can do without putting her back up.

Well I go to Blackpool every year with my mil and her sisters who are older and it's great!

Not being the same age doesn't mean they can't chat of have the same interests or find each other interesting or get along

Let her go

Your argument is totally lame for an 18 year old btw

Well to be honest, YABU! She is 18....her and her mate will go off and have their own fun! I went to Ibiza with my mate for 2 weeks when I was 17 - those were the days!

Show some trust in her, I am sure she'll be fine!

Whatever you do, never say "I told you so", even if you did!

She will never come to you with her troubles if she thinks you will be judgemental. (I have experienced this in my relationship with my own mother.)

To be honest, I knew the argument was lame. and I also need to trust her more
Problem is I don't trust the adults really. But, she has to learn to look after herself. Seems an awful long way to go to get pissed, but hey. I shall send her off with a smile and pack a long vest just in case

YABU. She is an adult too, not a child! And why can she not do her own packing??

Squeakytoy erm, it was a joke, I thought, at my expense.

YABU

And under no circumstances do the 'I told you so' dance. You may fall flat on your face and you can bet your DD won't be around to pick you up!

She is an adult. You don't have to trust the other adults, trust her.

Agree with the poster who said her and the friend's DD will probably take themselves off for their own fun!

Fair enough. I hope they do go and do something for themselves. leave the old ones to it.