to wonder how much time you need to be away from your child before people start asking why you bothered having it?

[knowitallstrikesagain]

At one end of the spectrum: Parents who work away from home from an early age.

At the other end: Parents who home educate because they do not want to be away from their children.

I cannot count how many times I have heard people say, 'I don't know why she (and it is normally she) bothered having a child if she is going to leave it.

However, what is the definition of leaving it?
If you work away from home but see child at weekends?
If you send child to nursery at 4mo so you can return to work?
If you work part time?
If you work full time?
If you are a single parent who goes out once a week?
If you let your child sleep on their own?
If you send your child to boarding school?
If you send your child to any school?
If you and your partner go away for a week to Bali every year without DCs?
If you and your partner go away to Skegness one weekend a decade without DCs?
Does it matter whether they are left with nursery, childminder, family or friends?
When are they being 'abandoned'?

Since having DC I have been a WOHM, been a SAHM, been away with DP for weekends, sent DC to nursery/school, gone out in the evenings.

AIBU to think that if this is the view, nobody should ever have chilren unless they intend to be with them every second of every day until they are an adult?

I'm guessing this is a thread about a thread. I always feel walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge.

Doing anything that is different from the person holding the opinion seems to incur insultd ime.

This is not a thread about a particular thread, this is something I hear disputed all the time. Anyway, have moved it because the title was too long. Come and judge over here!

judgyness

hate when kids are reffered to as "it".

I would say the normal setup for a preschool child is dad at work ft and mum at work pt or a SAHM. GPs doing occasional (once a month?) childcare.
So there.
Deviate from that and you are either a child hater who shouldn't have bothered having them if you aren't prepared for them to interfere with your lifestyle, or a hippie who is bringing up spoilt, entitled children who will have no idea how the world works.

NEXT!

YABU to ask for concrete guidelines. If they were set in stone there might be a chance that some women would be able to get it right, thereby escaping judgment.
This simply wouldn't do.

Most families just try to do their best I think but there is always someone ready to judge.

I have been a SAHM since my children were born but intend to return to work later this year once they have started school. I'm already fielding judgemental comments about why I shouldn't do this.

Apparently I ahould spend the rest of my life at home...

Just want to reiterate that this thread is going under a different title and so am redirecting everyone over there. Before I get called attention seeking.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1438354-Why-did-you-bother-having-children

Actual link should get off table and concentrate

There's always going to be some quarters who judge and disagree, no matter how often or infrequently you (general) are separated from your child.

The key being to answer with a "LALALALALALA" roughly translated into "Fuck off with your viewpoint, I care not, works for us, jog on"

I can't bloody get away from mine.

Unfortunately there aren't many admin roles involving extensive oversea travel...