AIBU in thinking this isn't fair of DH...

[NoWayNoHow]

DH out with an ex-work colleague having a few drinks. Said work colleague doesn't live or work locally, but is in town for meetings.

DH phoned at 11pm to "ask" (whilst in company of said friend) if it was okay for them to stay over at ours tonight.

So, at 11pm, when it's quite frankly a miracle that I'm even still awake, I am now running around like a blue-arsed fly, cleaning dishes, tidying the house and trying to get the spare room vaguely ready.

AIBU to prefer it if DH didn't drunkenly make stupid decisions like this and ask me if something's ok when I obviously don't have any choice in how to respond? And I don't think he's even got a good reason for why on earth is it even necessary for his friend to stay over anyway! He hadn't missed the last train home, and he needs to be 80 miles away in his place of employment tomorrow morning!

I know he's trying to be nice and helpful to his friend, but the tired-as-all-hell person in me is just fuming as I wander around scooping up DS's socks and strawberry stalks. Sigh.

Aw, that's lovely to have an open house. I'm sure friend won't notice a few dirt dishes or a less than perfect house, and he'll be left before you know it in the morning.

STOP the cleaning, they will not notice. If friend mentions the socks and stalks, tell them who is responsible.
Let your DH deal with making room for him and cleaning afterwards. Not your problem.

Yes. Go to bed. I am going there now myself!

Sleep tight

just throw a duvet on a sofa/bed and leave the rest

why are you tidying up ?

Just made myself a hot cross bun and decaf coffee as reward for whip round speed tidy. Will head to bed very soon secure in my reasonable-ness

You did have a choice in how to respond. You could have reacted in the same way as you would if an infant was hassling you at the school gate in front of his playmate, with, "Not today darling, it's not convenient.". After all, your DH is acting like a child, without thought, so it's perfectly reasonable to treat him like one. No way would I have said yes.

Ah, just go with the flow. No need to tidy up. I'm sure he'll be happy to have a place to lay his head and ain't coming round for the "ideal home exhibition".

All you need is to get out a couple of blankets and a pillow case

I'd just make sure there's none of my knickers lying around on view

the only people you panic tidy for are your parents.

Not sure why OP's Dh is acting like a child because he has checked that it is ok for a friend to stop over. He has asked. Op has said yes. THey both live there he can invite guests over.
When DH has done this I just usually pop downstairs for a qucik 'hi, how y'doin' and leave them to it.

I would be pissed if DH had a strop if my friends couldn't come over.

Not sure why you are picking socks up at 11.00pm either! Leave them. DH's duty that one!

I'm sure the fella has gone by now!

So that wasn't too bad. I was asleep when they got back, and he was gone by the time we woke up. Could have done with DH not snoring because he was drunk - am shattered!

In hindsight, of course it shouldn't be a big deal if he invites someone over. I was just already tired, and it came completely out of the blue which annoyed me a bit when I was in a "going to bed" head space. I don't ever want him to feel like he can't offer someone a bed for the night if they need one - I'd like to think my friends would do the same for me.

you are far more hospitable tthan me. I'd have opened the cupboard, got out a sleeping bag and then gone to bed.

If I had bacon in, they'd get a butty in the morning, if not, just a brew.

We had the opposite situation. DH asked me if he could invite a friend to stay over in our spare room. I was really baffled. His house, his friend. Of course he can invite him to stay.

I think he was being unfair, but I don't like people in my house, let alone people I don't know, staying the night. DH wouldn't ask me because he knows it wouldn't happen, I have no problem saying no.

I do know his friend, malificence - I good friends with his wife.