I have put this in relationships, but thought id get a more honest opinion here.
I have been friends with a woman for over 3 years, started a friendship because our children are the same age/same school. She has just ended a 12 year relationship with the children's father, and has no family in our area, and just 4 friends, who I am very close friends with.
Her children constantly hit, demand, scratch/bite my children, ds1 has been bitten and hit and kicked by the older 5 year old child, ds2 is constantly being scratched, hit and getting toys took off him because her DC wants the toys she has.
My children are no angels, however only hit when provoked, we do not have any problems with any other children in our group, they all play well, and love each others companies, and are extremely well behaved.
In the company of said friends children, there is always a fight, either with my DC or with other DC.
About a year ago, her DC continued to hit my older ds, ds told his mum, but nothing was done, in the end my ds picked up a toy hoover and hit her DC which resulted in a huge black eye. DS was punished, and made to say sorry, as although he was provoked, I dont and wont condone this sort of violence or hitting.
I have since found out this week, that she has been telling everyone that my ds is a bully and that her child does nothing to provoke anyone, friends have got involved and said the truth to friend, that she needs to discipline her children and stop blaming everyone else for her children poor behaviour.
Also my youngest ds face is shameful with scratches from youngest DC, as apparently my ds get too close in her face, so that warrants DS face to be scarred and bleeding
Ending this friendship is going too cause friction and animosity in the group, but I cannot continue to be friends where my children are being subjected to this and also being blamed for her children's behaviour because she wants a easy life in not disciplining them.
This has been going on for over 2 years and I am not at the end of my tether, older ds was bitten by her 5 year old child 3 days ago, because my child accidentally bumped into him, and nothing was done, I honestly think I am failing my children, but in also doing this, I know I am going to loose my friends and also our social life with toddler groups etc....
If I take the children issues out of the friendship she is a good friend, currently she is going through some serious issues (on the verge of having a breakdown) and needs her friends, so my mind is telling me one thing, but my heart (my children) is telling me another.