to think anything of this

[sillysausagesarnie]

My dd1 is 5 and has been dry at night since before 2. She has never had a wet bed, ever, even when first out of nappy.

My other dc had the occasional wet bad initially but she has always had amazing control!

So she went to stay at her grandparents the night before last on her own. My in laws. Last night she wet the bed.

Tell me i am being super paranoid and unreasonable for thinking the two could be connnected. I don't know why I feel suspicious and suspect the two could be connected. But i do and i need to say it to someone and not sure i would in rl.

I feel I probably am bu and you guys are going to tell me so which is probably the reality check i need.

Change in routine, different house, over excited throughout the day, a bit off-colour, drank too much water before bedtime, just one of those things that kids do?

Unless there's something else you are not sharing there could be a million and one reasons why it happened, and none of them suspicious

What hopenglory said. Unfamiliar surroundings and any number of other reasons could have caused this.

Not sure what the problem is to be honest!

Yep, what hopenglory said.

It could be as simple as no one remembered to ask her if she'd been before bed, or she'd had an extra drink because it was hot, or it was a change in routine.

Unless you have reason to suspect that there was another reason, then it's unlikely to be anything problematic.

Is there anything specific that you are worried about?

Could it be the change of routine that is the issue? Has she slept over before on her own? It could have been she was a little home sick or worried, alternatively it could have been something as simple as being given more drinks than she usually has.

Do you have any reason to be concerned your in laws may have behaved inappropriately (I am assume that is what you are getting at). Maybe talk to your daughter in general terms about what she did at her grandparents and whether she had fun. If there way any issue it would give her the chance to discuss it.

If you're worried about it, why don't you just ring your ILs and ask how she was when she stayed there? Did you speak to them when they dropped her off/you picked her up? I ususally ask my ILs how DD has slept when she goes there, I don't think they would volunteer the info if I didn't.

Do you have other reasons for thinking it is sinister? Has she stayed there before? Has she stayed with other people overnight before? There's nothing in your OP that makes me think the wet bed is down to anything other than a bit of a disruption in routine, but if you know more then you should say so, otherwise you will be accused of AIBU by stealth .

Thanks was hoping that would be the thoughts of the unparanoid! Dh and fil don't get on and neither do fil and myself. I try not to let this affect how i feel about his relationship with our dc but struggle with it as he is a complete fucking arsehole is somewhat strange and controlling.

She wet the bed here, at home, not at their house.

She was probably just over tired but i can't help letting my own feelings about fil cloud my judgement.

She has stayed before but not sure she has been just on her own without siblings/cousins there too.

They said she slept well and was up ready for school before they got up themselves.

Why is it a problem? It was a complete change.
I think that you are projecting your feeling onto her.

I agree with exoticfruits that you are projecting the way you feel about them onto her.

I know that feeling well!

It can be hard to ignore, but you have to try.

She's old enough to have a chat with, surely?

It also depends on what you mean by your FIL being oddly controlling, if she doesn't enjoy her time spent with him, then she doesn't have to go.

You are right that bed wetting can be a sign of distress, especially when the child cannot communicate how they feel. But equally it can be a change in routine.

Is he unpleasant to be around? What has she said about her time at their house?

X post.

She enjoys spending time with them but fil is unpredictable. He will encourage sillyness and then overly chastise them when he feels its gone too far.

Not sure why you´d let her stay over where there´s someone that you don´t get on with tbh.

What does overly chastise mean?

That is quite frustrating for a child.

Tbh, i wouldn't let her stay alone until i had chatted to her about it.

Either you trust your FIL to be in sole charge (or joint charge, if your MIL lets him get away with being an arse) of your DD or you don't. If you don't, then don't let her go there alone.

I don't especially like my FIL either. He's opinionated and annoying and a PITA - but I trust him to keep DD safe 100%, so I am happy for her to spend time alone with him (he sometimes babysits without MIL as she works and he's retired). If I didn't have total faith that he would never do anything to hurt her or allow any harm to come to her then she just wouldn't go there. End of.

The bed stating is most likely down to a change in routine. Was she very tired after the night in in laws? She could have just been in a very deep sleep and missed the cues.
However if I found my FIL strange and controlling and was uncomfortable with him I wouldn't let my children stay overnight with him. If he is unpredictable I would want to make sure I was there to intervene if he kicked off.

Look if I'd been to stay with my in-laws, I'd probably wet the bed too. That said, it's not such a big deal unless you feel uncomfortable letting them care for her. If that was the case I'd say no more sleep overs.