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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want the police to come to my house?

22 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 26/03/2012 21:49

This weekend I witnessed a crime and reported it to the police. They followed it up and are now going to charge the person who did it.

A PC asked me to ring her to give her a statement over the phone; I did. She then said I would need to sign it but this could be done by them faxing/ posting it to me.

They rang tonight and said actually, they want to send an officer to the house to do this. I don't know exactly why, but I am really uncomfortable about this I think because the house is a tip-- I don't want a random police vehicle showing outside my house and policemen coming in. Can't explain it better than that.

DP says I am being a 1950s respectable housewife about it, and 'awkward'. I volunteered to attend the police station instead or sign what they sent to me in the post. I think this is perfectly reasonable and lots of people would not want the police round.

AIBU or a weirdo?

OP posts:

RuleBritannia · 26/03/2012 21:52

The presence of Police does not necessarily mean that one is a potential convict. For heaven's sake, get a grip on life and be a supportive Briton for what this country stands for!

Be prepared to be a witness in Court. Do you want crime in your area or not?

baskingseals · 26/03/2012 21:54

I've had the police round to my house when my friend was staying with me and her ex was behaving like a complete twat. they were really sweet. i can see why you are worried, but i think that if they do come round, it will be a pleasant experience rather than a horrible one.

cwtch4967 · 26/03/2012 21:54

You are being a bit odd, I couldn't care less if the police called for a routine matter. If they mistakenly put in my door at 4am it would be another thing!!

Cruithne · 26/03/2012 21:56

i thought you could ask them to come in plain clothes

lepetitchoufleur · 26/03/2012 21:56

Personally it wouldn't bother me but if it does make you uncomfortable and you're happy to go to them, then I see no reason why the police won't respect that. Takes all sorts to make a world, and its your house.

Original poster

RevoltingPeasant · 26/03/2012 21:59

Rule! Seriously? I reported an assault that was happening in front of me, where the assailant could see me doing it. I then voluntarily rang the police back to give them a detailed statement. I have also agreed to go down to the station at lunch and sign the statement.

In what way am I not being a good citizen???

Of course I am prepared to be a witness in court, that was why I reported the crime in the first place! I don't see the relevance of that to not wanting the police in my house.

OP posts:

Debeez · 26/03/2012 22:00

Do you live in a "slightly rough" area? Can't think of a nicer way to say it sorry. I do. And having cops outside your house if they're not arresting you is like writing GRASS! on your own front wall.

If you're in a nicer area with people who are not drug dealers or burglars you don't need to worry about your house and stuff like that, they're really nice and helpful and sweet (unless you're being arrested :o ) Up to you though and YADNBU your house and you're offering to put yourself out for them.

Birdsgottafly · 26/03/2012 22:00

If police come to the house in my area, you are thought of as a grass and your windows go in.

When they turn up over criminal matters it is the Matrix van and the full works.

So YANBU, plenty of people don't want the police at their door, for various reasons.

whatsallthefuss · 26/03/2012 22:00

i felt the same. I was a potential witness to a murder that happened in our road. i ddint actually see anything but i must have drove past the murderer.

i didnt want to see the police in my own home, because i was scared enough with the murderer running loose, locally. and felt scared that since i was supposed to have seen the murderer then perhaps he had seen me or recognised my car.

I went to the police station in my bikers leathers and that was a huge mistake. they treated me like a lout until they realised i had a degree then the whole statement changed.

go to the police station, but dress like you mean it.

Original poster

RevoltingPeasant · 26/03/2012 22:04

Our area is not enormously nice, but not exactly 'rough'. Hmm! My family is super-respectable working class and although I am determinedly middle class I think something just rubbed off on me! I don't want the neighbours seeing

God, I am a weirdo, aren't I! DP is finally right about something.........

OP posts:

Bohica · 26/03/2012 22:06

YANBU and I can understand why you don't want the police to come to your house. Can you pop in to the station tomorrow?

Why can't they fax it as that was the original plan?

whatsallthefuss "dress like you meanit" - what does that mean
People shouldn't be taking at cloth value unless you are in tesco in your pj's of course OP is doing a good deed so her clothing really shouldn't matter!

Original poster

RevoltingPeasant · 26/03/2012 22:08

Bohica I am an academic so I will be dressed like a scuzzy tramp

OP posts:

SixtyFootDoll · 26/03/2012 22:08

I'd not see what the problem is, but a statement needs to be signed and in my force, handwritten in your presence as it is your evidence in your words.
If you don't want police at your house, arang e to see them at the police station

snowpo · 26/03/2012 22:11

I'm a police officer (should I admit that?!). We are generally a pretty nice bunch but I can actually understand why you wouldn't want officers in your house (except if its the tidy thing - you really can't imagine some of the houses we see!!). People are nosy by nature and neighbours will generally wonder why the police are there, so it depends if that bothers you or not.

If it makes you uncomfortable there is no reason why you shouldn't sign a statement at the station and there shouldn't be a problem with that.

whatsallthefuss · 26/03/2012 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RevoltingPeasant · 26/03/2012 22:15

snow yes it is that - my neighbours are always out washing their cars, playing with DC etc. They would totally ask me why and I don't really want to talk about it/ lie about it. Have volunteered to go directly to station but PC on phone seemed slightly put out and DP keeps teasing me because he has no concept of respectability

OP posts:

LydiaWickham · 26/03/2012 22:15

They aren't going to search your whole house, can you not just do a quick tidy up in the living room and shut the doors on the rest of the mess?

Of course, when it comes to police coming to the house, I will have one of those difficult moments when I wouldn't know how to act, I assume you should offer them a brew, should you also have biscuits? I'll fuss, it will be awkward.

scurryfunge · 26/03/2012 22:23

Whatsall, if any one made a snap judgement it appears to have been you!
You made me laugh though.

Original poster

RevoltingPeasant · 26/03/2012 22:24

That's also it, Lydia - I work v long hours and frankly don't want to spend my evening socialising with the fuzz (no offence snow! ). Would rather do it in a more professional manner in the police station.

It was already an unpleasant incident, I don't want to 'bring it home'.

OP posts:

whatsallthefuss · 26/03/2012 22:27

surryfunge what part of my post was snap? My sister came with me. I thought that i'd imagined it but no, she mentioned it too.

i'm glad i made you laugh

but the man that was killed was killed with a samuri sword, in the street at midnight. they dragged his wife and child out to watch. I was stressed enough at having to give a statement without these two clowns police men making it worse.

for info though, i would and have been a witness to other events and i Still went and did my civic duty, although again , i went to the police station rather than have them in my home.

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 26/03/2012 22:27

They refused to enter our house - could understand the one early in morning hyped up after chased DH stolen bike after used in spate of robberies he confined bike had been stolen took details and phoned at a decent hour
later.

The one after DH accident who wasn't aware DH was in hospital spent 20 minutes refusing to come in so I could keep eye on DCs and to my embarrassment asked for details and told me what had happened with next door neighbor spending time go back and forth to her car for no reason.

Neighbour then made stuff up about what she'd hear - putting us in a bad light and when spate of car break in happened blamed me to all the other neighbors as we'd had the police visit . Clearly young DC and DH in hospital means you break into cars parked down your street .

DoNotAngerTheWookiee · 26/03/2012 22:34

We've had police cars parked on our drive a few times as DH is a special constable (he forgot to take his police uniform trousers the other day and a lovely PCSO came to pick them up for him) - I always get a text or a phone call from my mum or next door neighbour asking why the police are there, what's going on etc, so I understand where you're coming from Revolting. Just ask if it's possible to meet someone at the station to sign it.

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