To not share a bed with my dh

[MamaMaiasaura]

We not shared a bed for over 4 years. We are still very much in love and close. He sleeps deeply, snores, snuffles and keeps me awake. I have baby dd in our room and nurse her in night. I get up in night with dc so dh sleeps and refreshed for work. I sleep well although lightly. So we are all happy, all getting sleep. So AIBU in not wanting to change it to "fit" what is perceived as better by my mother. She actually thinks that it's wrong for a couple to sleep seperately.

We have a spare room which has our old bed in it. It is fantastic, we do mostly share but every now and again I decamp to the spare bed and if one of the kids is sick and wants to snuggle there is plenty of room for them.

We only share a bed because DH really wants to, personally I think it would be more civilised to have seperate rooms, but it would make him unhappy. I have however insisted that the ensuite is MINE all MINE, no men are allowed unless they have a very good reason.

DH and I have slept together less than 10 nights in the last 14 years we have been together. We both like our space. He is often home in the afternoon while dc is at school, so ... .

My mum knows and is actually jealous as she wants to have separate rooms from my dad but he makes her feel guilty. (in an old fashioned sort of way!)

Do what suits you, not your mum....

Oh I would love for us to have separate rooms. In fact I'd quite like separate houses a la Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton. I had a daydream about buying next door and doing that very thing only yesterday!

He sleep walks and talks, shouts, kicks, wriggles, lies on my pillows, pushes me out of bed, lies on me, steals my pillows and complains when I wake him up getting up with the baby, complains when I wake him up leaving the baby to self settle...

So no, YANBU, and enjoy living my dream!

I sleep by myself as much as I can. Especially since my husband tends to be like an elephant when he gets up in the night or comes to bed after me.

Let's not even discuss the snoring...

"If we had the space I would merrily sleep separately to dp. I snore and wriggle and feed dd2 and kick him and sleep talk and all manner of other things that keep him awake. He's then grumpy all day because he doesn't get much sleep and it's all my fault apparently. I would LOVE for him to sleep in the spare room but we haven't got one, and the sofa isn't long enough for him (and I'm not the one who's going to move out of my comfy bed)"

I found this comment irritating as someone who suffers shitty sleep due to DH snoring, wiggling, twitching etc etc.

It IS your fault he is tired if you are the one keeping him awake with your nighttime behaviour. It should be you who moves every so often and gives him a break.