To want to see lawyer tomorrow about neighbours?

[redrosette]

My DH thinks we should just ignore them but I've had enough! I have disabilities and am awaiting a major operation this year so I have enough stress.

We moved here about 7-8 years ago and DD was born 4 years ago. When I was newly pregnant I began to notice these neighbours 2 doors along. They had 2 dogs, always off the leash, running into people's gardens, digging them up, shtting and pssing in them all while they sat on their driveways getting p*ssed and watching. They had a newborn baby.

Come home repeatedly to find sht in my garden. Really peeing me off. Then one day I came home from work and the dogs run in barking and jumping. Lost my patience and yelled at the neighbours to get their fcking dogs under control.

FF a few days and there's a knock on the door. its the man giving my DH a hard time as we had apparently phoned the dog warden and gotten them fined. We did not phone them. Someone else must have. They did not seem to believe us and we ignored each other thereafter.

Then we had our DD 9 months after theirs and began meeting them at baby classes and began to talk. Was hopeful maybe we could try to get on as maybe the kids would play together. We even friended each other on FB.

But then I saw that the woman was mocking my disabilities on Facebook. Also her SIL was mocking me, calling me a C* and mocking DH's appearance. They were also posting racist jokes and talking about their sex lives in graphic detail on FB for the world to see. Add to this the drunken parties in their back garden keeping everyone awake.

The last straw came when she posted on FB about having a party and the police van came. She posted lots of hints that she thought it was us (it wasn't, I swear).

So I thought f*ck it, I can't be arsed with this, and defriended and ignored them.

But then they started standing outside our house and staring through the window. And when I left to go to work, she would stand right at the bottom of the driveway.

Now that DD is 4 and the weather is getting warmer, she's wanting to go out and play. Naturally I dont want her playing herself as she's only 4 and we're near some woods and I dont want her getting lost (the other kids 3 and 4 years in the street are always out themselves, including in the woods). I dont let her go into people's gardens where I don't know the parents and I did not want her near these people. I told her no she couldn't play in (their DD's) garden.

Then he comes up and shouts at me for calling his DD names! I never did. I am really sick of their accusations. They keep accusing us of things we never did! He says he doesn't know what our problem is as they've done nothing to us. I mentioned the mocking my disability. She came over and denied it. I fetched the print out I'd had the sense to make, and they started swearing and abusing me.

Since then, several other neighbours have come up to me to say I'm in the right and these people have caused lots of problems.

Today these parents see my mother and ask her how she is, nice to see you, blah blah small talk.

I get home and they come over AGAIN and accuse me of calling their DD names!

WTF is their problem???

I have done absolutely none of the things they accuse me of!

So AIBU to want to speak to my lawyer? DH thinks we should just ignore them but they keep approaching us! and its gotten to the point where I can't let DD out to play anymore and this really upsets her :(

DH is telling me to 'give it a rest' and that lawyers cost too much.

So I just keep opening the door to their abuse do I? :(

What do you want to achieve with a lawyer?
Speak to the council and your neighbourhood policing team about any anti social behaviour.

I would move if I were you.

Can you not call the police (non emergency number) for some advice first? Then try mediation or soemthing?

A lawyer won't be able to help.

by speaking to a lawyer would result in you having to pay £200 + for them to write a letter only to make matters worse because they would know it came from you.

i would do the following:

1. report their threatening and abusive behaviour to the police, they have the power to issue them with harassment warnings which can result in them being charged with a criminal offence if they break it.
2. report them to social services re concerns their drinking and partying etc is having on their children
3. report their behaviour to their landlord (if they are renting that is), if enought people report them to their landlord they will be evicted

these are the cheaper and most effective ways forward

Police not lawyer, what would a lawyer achieve?

When we bought our house I loitered outside in the evenings for weeks just to make sure there were no neighbours from hell.

I'd move if I were you op.

Cunts like your neighbours will never change.

I've gone to the police in the past about other people which I eventually got sorted through a lawyer. The police said it was a lawyer matter, harrassment should be dealt with a lawyer and as our lawyer is a friend we didn't pay him at that time. He sent letters to the other people and helped us gather lots of evidence.

Hence why I'm thinking of using him again with the neighbours. The police are useless.

We don't rent we own our homes. We can't afford to move just yet as DH has just gotten another job from redundancy. These neighbours moved after causing trouble in their last street.

the police are fobbing you off, under the harassment act they can prosecute people as it is now a criminal offence (it only changed in the last year or so i think)

If your last lawyer helped you gather evidence I assume it was to take to the police to support a criminal prosecution, so cut out the middle man and go straight to the police. Start keeping a diary of all incidence and yes, print out all the FB stuff. If you can catch them on camera all the better. Is there any way you can find out who did call the police etc.? Sounds like you're not the only one with concerns and you should band together.

You should speak to the council too.

But probably the most important thing to do (and the most difficult I'm afraid) is to remain v calm and not rise to them. They sound like bullies and i suspect the more they can see they get to you the more they'll try to intimidate you.

bumping up this thread to say neighbours called police on US. Police body language was pretty aggressive and judgy. Our neighbours are accusing us of harrassment and abuse. Tried to tell police our side of the story but they said they didn't want to hear it! DH is spitting mad.

Police said its a civil matter and not for them to deal with but they gave us a warning so why do that if its a civil matter? As I think someone said, disability hate crime is a police matter?

I don't know what to do for the best now. As I said earlier I want to go to my lawyer but DH said we were lucky to get lawyer friend helping for free in the past but we can't expect to keep getting free help.

I will ignore them as I've tried to do all along but I doubt very much they will leave US alone.

What reason did they have to phone the police?

the last argument we had where they accused me again of calling their DD names. As I said I denied this as I absolutely did not and due to my disabilities my DH and DM defended me and asked them to stay away.

Neighbours invited DM in for a chat but they then started insulting my disability. DM naturally lost her temper and said stay away from me and DH or police would be called. They obviously decided to do it first. Also a friend of neighbours joined in the insults and swearing to which DM said stay out of it.

That's pretty much it. Lots of arguing at the weekend basically over a false allegation and a request to leave us alone.

Ignore ignore ignore.

why have you had to get a lawyer for other people ? what did they do ?

Never stepfoot on their property, you, or any member of your family/friends, you have played into their hands.

You are not going to get any sense out of them. Arguements are a two way thing, if you do not respond they are by definition, abuse being shouted at you.

Keep calm, don't look for things that are not going on, don't respond and 'box clever'.

Who do they rent from?

imnotmymum the other people sent anonymous letters about me, including to my work and threatened me with violence. That's stopped now (I hope). Now its my neighbours who are causing problems.

Birdsgottafly they don't rent, all houses in our street are owned.

redrosette that is so awful that you are being treated this way, do you believe that people are being like this due to your disability?? Something has to be done for you the police have a sense of duty to protect.

I would see if your localpolice station has a community liason officer,someone may come along with the correct term and have a chat.

He will, at least give you advice, similar to mine, to not be an instigator.

Don't assume anything else will happen, just react properly when it does, by contacting the anti-social team.

Make a proper log of what has happened upto now, without being petty and drop the idea of legal help. Ask advice from the police and if it is affecting your health in any way, talk to your GP.

I would arrange to see the police at the station or whatever and give your side. Take the print outs.

I was going to say, if the print outs are dated that would be useful.

First, stay away do not answer door and ignore. Simply do not engage.

Second, log every incident where they visit your property, shout at you or are in any other way problematic.

Third make an appointment with the police. To them calmly that you are being harassed and provide a log of the incidents. Let them know if you fear the behaviour is likely to escalate.

The police have given you a harassment warning. You and your family need to have NO CONTACT with these people whatsoever. Don't speak to them, don't answer your door to them, don't set foot on their property.

Yes they are obviously idiots, but you can't cure them of that. If you can't move, that's the only solution. You can't change their behaviour.

I have no wish to be in contact with them, they keep approaching US with false allegations etc and I said earlier we've kept asking them to stay away to no avail.

I've started keeping a diary now and I have the contact numbers for the council's anti social team and environmental health (due to their drunken parties and sectarian singing).

DH and I have agreed in future to phone the police/council ourselves each and every time there is a loud party until 3am, threatening behaviour etc rather than try to ignore it as we have before.

Oh and we've asked the police to come back and speak to us properly to hear the full story and see our evidence. Waiting for a call back.

imnotmymum - I dont think this has stemmed from my disability, just different types of people really, however, they keep bringing my disabilities up as a means to upset me (I have one major disability and two minor ones, including a speech impairment/stammer that they enjoy imitating).