Why does every event have to be photographed?

[fortifiedwithtea]

Years ago we had film your took to Boots. Photos were for special occasions and holidays. Now we're in the digital, no joke getting up in the morning is celebrated. Look on Youtube for bods who do that for a year just to watch themselves get very slighty older.

So what has pissed me off. I'm living with epilepsy, that's what. And all these photos are a fucking nightmare.

Saturday 9.15am at ice rink have a massive seizure. Signs on walls No Cameras (properly for the safety of ice hockey players). I'm there to watch my DD2 who incidently has mild SN take her grade 2 badge. Its a big deal for her because she failed the first time owing to her disabilities.

So a granny has to photograph a child. And what do you know I'm off. Luckily DH with me and another father who turned out to be a nurse took charge and assured people there that no need for an ambulance. I can't thank him enough. Epileptics do not need to be whisked off to hospital on every occasion even if it looks scary.

Outcome is, I don't get to see DD2 take her test (she did pass). Have the embarrassment of being wheelchaired to the car. Have to go straight to bed to sleep it off. Miss a lovely sunny day. Am not fully recovered until Sunday ffs.

I could go on about the wanker tourist who clicked away in the sweet shop at Christmas but I think I've made my point.

While I feel very sorry for you OP.
Photographs are a part of modern life.
If the signs are for safety during an ice hockey match that's quite different to granny photographing her DGD.
The child or her mother had probably asked her to, so the flash would be no surprise.

If the signs are for child protection like our swimming pool they don't mind for private events as long as you sign a form.
The ice rink would probably be perfectly ok with photos of your own child.

Oh and very very well done to the OPs DD, I can just about stand on skates and go forwards, but I can't stop

YANBU if it said no cameras.
Also because most people don't realise that the flash won't work at more than about 2m away, and it's thus useless for such shows. The pictures will probably be crap anyway.

YABU otherwise. I have always loved taking pictures, and not even of people, can you believe?

I hope it goes better next time and ask your OH to film your daughter just in case

Yeah, I find the whole obsession with recording every little happening a bit depressing as often I find people are so busy filming or photographing occasions that they're not really engaging in them or enjoying them fully. They just have to make sure they get some good snaps/footage so they can put them on FB and prove they have a great life and are very popular.

It's quite interesting in a way- presenting oneself through the edited highlights.

Exactly wot Richmanpoorman said.

At my sil's 40th, all of her brothers and sisters had their cameras out for the whole day. They must have taken 200 photos each. Unbelievable!

YABU if you expect people not to take photos of things. Children grow so quickly and you miss so much.

However I am horrofied that anyone would try and take photos during an exam session. It would be like me trying to take photos of my dd's ballet exam or during her dance show. The ban on cameras are there for the safety of the performer and having photos taken with or without flash could seriously put a child off during an exam.

YANBU to be annoyed at flash photography used at an ice rink, where it's distracting and stupid. Especially since there were signs saying no cameras.

However, people won't know you have epilepsy and they are entitled to take pictures of what they want.

I have had photosensitive epilepsy since I was a child, and there is such variance on what gives people seizures. I would never have a seizure because of a single camera flash. Repeated flashes at a high speed would make me have a seizure though. Some people have problems with patterns.
My point is that epilepsy can have so many triggers, people cannot possibly predict them all. Its difficult, and I'm sorry you had a seizure. They're pretty shit.

I haven't always been like this. Yes I was tested for epilepsy as a child but it wasn't confirmed. Six years ago I had my first big seizure. DD2 at hospital sitting on my lap having an eye exam. Perfect place to do it. EEG proved epilepsy and I've been on medication ever since.

What I do know is I have left temporal lobe epilepsy and 2 types of seizure migraine and complex partial.

With medication I am alot better than I was. But being tired, stressed, hungry, having a cold, wrong time of day are all factors that affect seizure threshold. So I have to lead an orderly life and I'm too frightened to have alcohol because it might mess with the meds but others take the risk.

Try and imagine what it was like for DD2 when she was 3 hiding with her barbie dolls because mummy was dribbling on the floor and couldn't speak. And she has disabilities of her own.

At Christmas Brown Owl who knows about me asked if anyone had any objection to photos being taken at Christmas concert. She did this to be kind to me so I could say to the parents aloud, I had no objection to photos but could they please turn off the flash. In all the other years I have not gone to the concert so as not to spoil it for others.

And no I didn't get any consideration. Flash Flash flash. Me having a CP. Lip smacking, eyes rolling, unable to stand up, fingers twitching and foot tapping. Get the picture.

If there was a sign saying 'no photography' then, regardless of the epilepsy issue, the OP was NBU.

There's a wider issue here about the 'right to take a photograph'. At my dc's primary school, parents have to sign a consent form to allow their children to be photographed in school. Some parents don't consent, that's their right.

But that also means when the class is doing an assembly, parents can't take pictures of the whole class because they might take a photo of a child who can't be photographed.

Therefore there is a sign in the school hall that says clearly 'no photography'.

But loads of parents simply disregard this. They just get their phones out and take photos. Perhaps they think this doesn't count as taking a photograph? Perhaps they think that rules do not apply to them?

It's a case where there are different rights which have to be weighed against each other: on the one hand, the parent's right to take a photograph, and on the other the child's right to privacy.

And the other issue it raises is about the way that people believe that rules do not have to apply to everyone (ie not to them). You see this all the time over time off from school during term, for example. But that's the point of a rule. It only works if it applies to everyone even doting grannies who want to take a picture of their grandchildren.

Wow! They still used their flashes at the concert after you had said how sick it makes you- how rude and ignorant! Can you imagine if you used a camera at a west end show- you'd be kicked out! Really it's like having nut free classrooms- you'd never give your child a peanut butter sandwich even though they like it, because you wouldn't want to accidentally make another child sick. I hope your epilepsy settles down.

YANBU in the least, OP. And I agree with whoever said up the thread that we're now living in a 'Photographs or It Didn't Happen' culture, and with richmanpoorman that this is more than a bit depressing. I'm in the (extremely small, apparently) camp that thinks photos actually replace memories in a bad way, and that actual occasions are increasingly being sidelined by the necessity to record them while they're happening.

I got married a few weeks ago, and there are no photographs at all of the event, which I realise will seem desperately eccentric to some.

Idocrazythings, someone a few rows behind me took a flash photograph in the middle of a performance of the Duchess of Malfi at the Old Vic last week, after all the warnings about no photographs. I was completely taken aback, especially as no staff intervened.

Having been a steward at a concert hall and seen someone take a flash phot at the theartre it probably isn;t that the staff didn;t want to intervene. Unless you are right by the person and happen to spot who it is it is really difficult afterwards to identify them.

I know that at the Aplollo Victoria a customer has been banned after uploading illegal photos/videos on a fan website. Their seat number /name was identified

I am totally with you on this op. YANBU at all.

One thing I have learned after over a decade of living with epilepsy is that people are fundametally selfish and will quite happily hospitalise you at the drop of a hat if it means they get a photo to put on facebook...

I have had soooo many trips to a&e thanks to exactly this.

YANBU to expect no flash photography in places where it clearly states 'no flash photography' but the sweet shop thing is a different matter. How do you avoid ALL plash photography OP? For exam

ple, on a night out or anywhere else a flash can be used?

YANBU

I think the whole world has gone mad, you can't even wear the same dress out twice now as everyone sees on facebook that you have worn it before

YANBU to expect people to stick to the rules. If the sign says no photographs then everyone should respect the rules are there for a reason.

Did the woman taking the photographs realise that she was responsible for triggering your seizure?

I had a very mild form of epilepsy that was a problem when I was about eleven or so but gradually subsided in my later teens. It was controlled with medication for awhile but I haven't needed to take it for years. But as you say, many things can make the risk of having a seizure increase. Mine were always worse just before and during my period and at their worst they could be triggered by the smell of coffee, cigarettes or bleach or even by having someone raise their voice in anger.

The parents at your daughters concert were disgraceful and surely they realised that they were responsible for your seizure? It would have been a small enough event and hall wouldn't it?

But I can also see why people want to take photo's of events and days out too, although again, they should keep to the rules or respect situations like yours when they are made clear to them.

DS is our third child, following our sons stillbirth and our daughter dying shortly after she was born. We were not allowed to take any photos of our son and the hospital camera was not charged properly when our daughter was born (we were admitted in an emergency and didn't have our camera with us) so we have two very bad photo's taken on my phone while she was alive and a very small handful of photo's taken with a borrowed camera after she had died, perhaps ten different ones in total.

It's one of our biggest regrets. I wish we had more photo's of our daughter and even just one of our son. So when we had DS we went to the other extreme and everything gets photographed. I wouldn't take a photo where we were asked not to, but I like to have my camera with me wherever we go.

My DH is in the armed forces and works away in the week. He's also spent a lot of time abroad over the past nine months and will be out of the country for most of this year. Photo's of DS doing normal things as well as special ones make him feel like he's not completely missing everything.

I wouldn't put those reasons above a safety rule asking for no photos, or above general consideration for others such as in the middle of a play at the theatre or the last trip we made to the cinema when a whole row of teenagers were texting friends and taking photo's of each other on their phones. And I wouldn't put it above your health if I had been one of the parents at the Brownie group.

But in a normal situation, even the old fashioned sweet shop one, I might have taken a photo or two of DS if there were no signs saying not to and not because of Facebook but because we love having the photo's and realise how precious they are. DS loves looking through the albums and they are a great way of making and keeping memories for him.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes what a dreadful time you and your DH have gone through. I can understand how you must need to capture every moment with your son and also for your DH whilst he is away. One of my cousins was an army nurse and letters from home meant alot.

I find it odd that people think I enter a sweet shop at my own risk. The day that episode happened I had been to hospital for a neuro check up. After a 2 hour wait to be seen I went into town to finish the last of the Christmas shopping. While waiting to pay, a German tourist in his 50's starts snapping his British friends he is staying with (no children in the group). Paramedic called out. Shop manager angry at tourists friends that permission wasn't asked first from the shop as there is often parties of children in the shop and parents might have objected.

The day actually got worse after that but the whole story goes off the subject.

I have 2 children with epilepsy and I'm really quite shocked at the poster who said that you were being unreasonable because she takes photos of her DD who has the condition. I would have imagined a parent of a child with epilepsy would be better informed and would know that there are different triggers for different people/types of epilepsy.

Fortunately, neither of mine are set off by a single flash, it must be rotten for you.

OP - Thank you. I just remembered another thing that triggered mine. We used to drive along a wide road lined with trees and on very sunny days the light-shade-light-shade-light-shade motion and passing under the trees would make me feel incredibly ill. Would that bother you?

Wow your photosensitive epilipsey is very sensitive. I've never heard of one flash being a trigger, it's rare enough for it to be light sensitive in the first place, never mind that sensitive. I hope you're getting the right care etc as it must make daily life nigh on impossible.

noone.. that sets my DD off too.