to abandon DD for 12 days

[MamaGeekChic]

to climb mt kilimanjaro for charity?

DD will be 18mo, and with DP. It's a work thing. So, AIBU? and more importantly will I cope being away from her for such a long time

No YANBU
I have just been away for 3 weeks for work
DD 6 and DS 15 mo were perfectly fine with DH
I had little or no phone or Internet most of the time but called when I could
Go and have fun

Surely there are other ways to raise cash for charity?

It would be reasonable to abandon her. But not to leave her with her other parent for 12 days.

And based on my experience, you will find the separation much harder than she will...

unreasonable. It would be unreasonable to abandon her. I am definitely not condoning child abandonment...

Not really "abandoning" is it...

Unless you think her other parent is incapable of looking after her.

OK, its not really abandoning and he's been a SAHD since I went back to work after 8wks so he's perfectly capable but I do feel as if i'd be abandoning her. She just changes so fast it seems like a big chunk to miss :(

I probably could do something else for charity, it's just that this landed on my desk and seems so 'once in a lifetime'.

its not even a couple of weeks and she'll be with her dad. Itll be fab. Go for it.

If it's something you want to do then go for it.

If she's more used to being with her Dad, then I doubt she'll stress too much anyway.

How old is she now?

she's 11mo now

Depends how your partner feels, I would gouge dh's eyes out if he suggested this.

He's spo laid back it's a hard one to judge. He's just generally very suppotive and probably thinks i'll never go through with it...

at Oakmaiden and her

I wouldn't. The mountain's not going anywhere.

You are not abandoning her! Presumably DH will take the time off work? I should say it was lovely for both of them. I went skiing when DS was that age and DH had a week off work and they both had a lovely time.

Ah do it - she is used to your DH and she won't really realise you've gone (not that that helps with you missing her). Much better to be able to tell her about the things you saw when she is older.

DH and I have just been away skiing for a week and my mum looked after our 16mo DS, we skyped a couple of times and he stuck his tongue out and smiled but wasn't at all upset that we weren't there.

You will be a much better wife and mother if you feel you can still do other things. You'll owe DP massively when you get back though

So YANBU for wanting to do something challenging

I hate these sort of charity fundraisers.

YABU to "climb kilimanjaro" for charity.

No problem with leaving 18mo DD with her dad for 18 days though, even if it's just for a holiday for you however you dress that up.

I would be looking at the safety aspect of it and I would expect anyone who is a parent to put their personal safety first when they have children depending on them.

Of course YANBU to leave your DD with her dad for 12 days, it's hardly abandonment.

I too hate the "have an amazing experience for charity" thing though - I'm never sure why people think I might want to give them money towards their trip of a lifetime in the guise of fundraising.

I wouldn't do it when my DD was that age but that is not to say that YABU. I know I would have just missed her so much and that these challenges and opportunities are always available, I would make a promise to myself to do it when she was a bit older.

You aren't being unreasonable to leave your child with her other parent for a length of time. However, I wouldn't do it - not because I am very unfit, couldn't climb a mountain if my life depended on it and would be more than likely to come back with various broken limbs - but because I'd be worried about something happening to me while I was up there. I gave up dangerous sports when my children were born - I may go back to them when they're older or have left home although I probably won't, realistically. It wasn't that dangerous either (flying light aircraft).

However I'm the major wage earner and my husband's salary is dependent on mine so I may have a skewed view - if anything happened to me my children and husband would be financially up the swannee as well as emotionally. (have insurance but it's not the same as the next 30 years earnings!)

I dont think YABU to leave DD with her father, but a word of warning: I wouldnt overestimate the willingness of people to sponsor things like this, especially if part of the sponsorship covers your costs. Read the small print.

I wouldnt worry about the danger though- it's not a technical climb like Everest or K2- more like a long uphill walk. Main risk is altitude sickness. I have done the Annapurna Circuit which peaks at same ht as Kili. Summit day is tough in terms of oxygen levels but rest was okay if you're reaonsably fit.

"
Depends how your partner feels, I would gouge dh's eyes out if he suggested this."

Why, on earth?

Kilimanjaro isn't a mountain climb as such, as other people have said. It is however horribly polluted and covered in rubbish and toilet paper. I wouldn't climb it (didn't when I was in East Africa). I tend to avoid the really pressured natural areas.

I don't think leaving DC for a couple of weeks is an issue if DH doesn't mind.