to be driven mad by colleague wanting compliments?

[GracieW]

I work with a woman (big establishment but just us in an office). Every day she starts a conversation by saying "oh, so and so said they love my hair!" or "I made biscuits and x says they're the best biscuits EVER!" or "look at this, I made it, y says how clever I am!"

Now, she is well turned out, does make nice biscuits and is good at making stuff. However, I think she should wait to be complimented without me being prompted...

AIBU?

Next time she says "oh, so and so said they love my hair!", just say "Really?" and make that shruggy, Robert De Niro face. She'll probably stop fairly soon.

She's obviously very self conscious and is looking for reassurance. Either that or she's just a totally self involved idiot

four I've done the "oh right" shrug, will have to add the De Niro face
deep I do wonder if it's all about reassurance but I do like the statement "self praise is no praise"...

She sounds pathetic tbh

just compliment her. say yes it does look nice, or well they are yummy (and smile)

get it over and done with and she obviously needs it for some reason.

I have a friend like this but honestly just ignore and don't mention it or make fun

I say this because my friend has done this ever since she got out of a severely abusive relationship which has left her confidence in the shitter, she has no
Self esteem and now always does this.

I don't know if it's to hear a compliment at last, or to make herself feel better to try and regain what she lost

It's v annoying but try to be kind because ou just never know

No, you're not being unreasonable - it would grate on me too.

However, surely she will eventually notice the difference between receiving compliments as a result of fishing and you volunteering one when she hasn't fished at all (presumably she looks nicer some days than others)?

I'd go along with the being kind option, at least until/if she says something really bitchy about someone else you both know. I don't mind bolstering someone's ego by trying to be nice about them personally but I'd draw the line at doing it by being horrible about other people. Your colleague may be nothing like this but sadly I know a lot of people who are!!

She doesn't come across as insecure - she's in a job where she cares for people, long term married, healthy and successful dc's etc etc and I find it so strange that she keeps needing this bolstering from me (and it seems, everyone else).

Honestly it is about anything and everything, and it happens many times per day!

I have a friend who has the same method of just praising herself all the time by repeating compliments people have made. It's pretty irritating and I think it's a bit of a faux pas.

give her a nice compliment before she has the chance to say anything, then see what happens. i think more of us should compliment each other

southeast you're absolutely right and obviously a very nice person.

PS I like your hair

Gracie, you could do the Robert De Niro quote along with the look.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

totem please, please, PLEASE come to my office and say that tomorrow, you have just made me and DH laugh out loud

I'll have to work on my accent.

oh I know someone like this, the trick is to be the one who gave her the compiment, then she'll fuck off and leave you alone while she tells everyone else how top notch you said her minging cooking is! It works!

Omg, she sounds just like that friend of Monica's and Phoebe's in Friends...the one they cut out, and by the end of the episode she's dancing for Chandler and scaring him! Just cut her out like Monica and Phoebe did ;)

your* doh!

I was going to say I knew them but they wouldn't say "X says I'm great" they'd say "I'm great, don't you agree?"

DeWe Oh no, she wouldn't be that overt - but I really don't like the way she fishes for compliments and then would say to someone else "Gracie thinks my is "

Sootie I can't cut her out, it's just the two of us in our office!!

You could always make life interesting and try the therapist line
"I've noticed that you always seem to be commenting on compliments other people have given you when you talk to me. Why is this do you think? Do you want me to compliment you more? "
Hand on chin and best therapist expression.