To send my sister a bag of rubbish from my bin?

[AwkwardMary]

Ok...I know I would BU to do that...BUT.... am sick of her sending me bags of her girls cast offs that are only fit for the bin or to be recycled. She gives the bags to my mum when she visits her nd Mum feels she has to give them to me as sister has sent them and it would be rude to not hand them over.

Todays offering was a bag full of winter wooly tights with holes in every one...and three faded and stretched t shirts...you know when they've lost all shape and were cheap anyway so are only fit to polish with? Well like that.

I am getting a bit offended and don't know if I should be? It's lovely to hand clothes on...but only if they're seasonably suitable and in decent condition! I am NOT fussy...I will put clothes on my DDs even if they are a bit worn...especally for playing in but these are getting silly now!

Does she think I am poor? Or is she trying to offend? Mum says "Oh she's so unaware of things...she means no harm." BUt I can't see how she didn't notice the state of this lot! I feel like she's using Mums visits as a kind of recycling service...dont bother putting this lot out for recycling...give them to Mum for Mary to have! MY recycling bin is full enough!

Should I say something??

Make attractive, yet tasteful gifts from them and send them back to her.

Or return the favour with your old things - a used tampon or some really tasteful pair of pants.

No, don't say anything - just lob them in the clothes recycling bin.

My sister, very kindly, gave me masses of her kids' clothes. But there's 5 years between her eldest and my youngest, and the clothes looked really dated. So I just gave them to charity - a lot!

Just offhandedly tell her that although you appreciate her thinking of your DDs that your house is coming down with clothes and don't have the room for anymore.

YANBU. MY sister married a wealthy man and had designed clothes. When she had finished with them, she passed them to me but took off the buttons etc first. We lost touch, believe it or not.

*designer clothes

Unless there's something else going on here try not to see it as 'personal' - for all you know she doesn't care about her children wearing holey tights or really worn clothing or just doesn't think beyond 'these don't fit, add them to the bag'

Refuse to take them. She is clearly just using you as a convenient recycling service.

I'd just not take them off my mum and call DSis and say there's nothing wearable so thanks but you'll leave them for her to collect, and not to worry about sorting things out in the future, its much appreciated but your girls have plenty of clothes

My SIL does this. She is lovely but I have to bin the majority of the clothes she gives me. I swear she goes into her DS2's room once a year, picks up all his dirty clothes off the floor, realises they're way too small and sticks them in a bag for us. At least half of them are unwashed when she hands us a bin liner of clothes and most of them have stains or holes in. Her kids never wear stained or holey clothes so I do wonder why the hell she thinks I'd want them

Is their anything like this in your local area? They pay per kilo and let you donate any old textiles. May as well may some money out of it

Poultry all items have to be in good reusable condition, and they do check.

I must be lucky, they never check mine! (although to be fair I don't put in crappy stuff!)

Hand them back "Thanks for thinking of me, but I think you accidentally passed mum the wrong bag. These things all have holes in them, they must have been meant for the bin."

Hmm, sounds like she's being a bit lazy. I pass clothes on to SIL, but I always check first - to be honest the things that both my boys have worn are not usually fit for another go, so go in the textiles bin.

Hmm I would say she's not being intentionally rude - just lazy.

Funny as I was going to start a thread of 'Is it rude to offer (good quality) clothes to a friend who is a bit 'bigger' than me, as they are now too big for me as I've lost some weight..'

My gut feeling is that yes it's rude, but on the other hand she's not working atm and we know what clothes size each other are....

Sorry to hijack btw..

Her opinion could be that as she's generously giving you quite a few clothes, then your "part of the bargain" is to take the time sorting them out.

Yanbu, my dps aunts like to send clothes from their dcs to ours. One only gives gorgeous clean and bloody expensive (to me anyway), the other sends anything and everything, odd socks and old slippers and really old holey vests in with the nice but very worn clothes. It drives me mad, but she is doing something that she thinks is kind, despite it really being a pita.
I've had to preempt it now, and tell her someone else has very kindly given dd stuff and the place is coming down with clothes in the hope she won't send more too soon.