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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"why do people come out as gay? i didnt come out as straight"

26 replies

skittlesandpringles · 24/03/2012 11:52

AIBU to ask that people give this sentence a moments consideration before they actually say or write it?

Do you socialise in a gay majority group, work in a gay majority business or live in an area where most people are gay or lesbian? If not then you didn't HAVE to come out as straight because it would have been assumed, either straight off or whenever you mention your other half, kids etc.

Gay people live in a straight majority world. We HAVE to come out if we want to be honest with people. Coming out doesn't have to involve a neon sigh flashing hooray I'm gay, but eg references to tour other half which use the pronoun or name, and we basically have to do it every time we meet a stranger in a relevent context. if you don't have a partner you may have to make your coming out more explicit.

I've tried not doing it, because "it want important". Believe me it creates issues later on because either you carry on lying or have to let people know at a later stage when the fact that you didn't tell them earlier is itself a bigger deal.

please please just think about the fact that people who are in minoritys have different experiences of the world and your personal view isn't necessarily transferable. I've never lived on benefits so I wouldn't tell people who do about how I save soo much money growing organic veg on my allotment. its a similar courtesy.

OP posts:
DartsAgain · 24/03/2012 19:45

I don't care if someone is gay straight or other, but I do know some people for whom it would be a big problem. You could count on these people to say something really stupid and not in QOD's manner of "overcompensating" either, which I can understand. It's definitely homophobic behaviour from these people, and I think it's so sad.

There is a teacher at DS's school who is resuming teaching soon, and he'll be DS's teacher after Easter. I know he's gay, but I don't care because I like him and the kids adore him.

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