WIBU to not go to a party?

[Chilenachica]

Another mum at school, kinda friend but not life-long iykwim, having a birthday party next week. Her DH invited me, she hadn't mentioned it. I asked with or without DCs? She said with, he said without. Became clear that he is controlling her celebration. I explained I need to arrange a babysitter and will let her know. Then he tells my DH, in front of me, that I've committed to attending.

I don't want to allow him to decide what I do, so I want to stay home and watch TV instead. What does the jury think?

I think they need some Relate vouchers as a present.

MrsT

Do want you want OP, it's an invitation not a summons.

It sounds like you might be privy to a full-scale bust-up at this party and I guess that leaves you with two choices, depending on your personality. One is to decline politely (though not too politely seeing that the DH has virtually told you and DH that you are going).

The other is to accept with glee and watch the marital fireworks with great amusement and give us all the gory details afterwards.

Don't go.

And try and get to know her better when he's not around in case she needs some support.

He sounds a charmer, but is her party and she could probably do with friends, so if you like her maybe go (but with or even catsbum face for her DH)

Oooh graham, that's awful!

You could just be massively reading between the lines there OP.

It might not be so much 'controlling her celebration' as telling you what kind of party it is.

Maybe he genuinely thought you'd said you were going?

I wouldn't stay at home if you want to go, just to teach him a lesson! You don't need an excuse to stay at home watching the box, just say you can't do it?

AgentZigzag

I see your point, but she said -it's my party so I should decide and I want the children to attend- which was met with - well I've decided.

And I told him twice that I would need a babysitter.

It sounds like a hard work sort of a party. It would be a test of endurance rather than actual fun.

Don't go (sudden tummy upset) but try to let the wife know you're around in a supportive sort of way.

Oh they had the convo in fRONT of you??? I wouldn't' go either...but I WOULD meet up with her alone for coffee and to give her a present...it sounds like she needs a friend.

In these circumstances, I would attend with the children. How dare he try and control HER birthday celebration.