to think that Facebook and Frenemies go hand in hand?

[lottielou39]

On a couple of occasions recently I've been left bemused.
Facebook friends who are lovely and very very friendly and chatty on Facebook simply walk past me when I'm out and about and when I do stop and chat, breeze past quickly and a bit abruptly. I find it a little bit odd. AIBU? I only add people I genuinely like and would happily smile and chat with. Is this sort of person a Frenemy, lol?

I was just tlking about this to my dh the other day! A woman I know through work sent me a friend request on fb and I accepted. We're not close as such, we know each other through work but would only meet occasionally. Last week I was sitting in the waiting area of where she works (I was there for a meeting) and she just walked straight past me and didn't even say hello... what was the friend request for???

It's because people don't genuinely care, they're just nosey and want to dip in and out of your lives when it suits them.

I am FB friends with friends; people I know through DD's school; family; old school friends; parents of old school friends if I was close with them at the time; old colleauges; people I know through my hobbies/social activities.

I only have around 50 or so friends so might only have a couple in some of these categories.

I'm naturally closer to some of these people than others. There are a couple I'd stop and have a light chat with, there are some I'd say hello to if I passed them, there is one I don't even really say hello to.

But then I think I've got a pretty good grip on what FB is for and how different people use it. I understand that people use it in different ways to me - my News Feed evidences that!

I tend to think of a frenemy as someone who appears superficially to be a friend on the surface but then seeks to use their closeness to you to undermine you and cause problems for you in your life. I would describe the people you describe as just disinterested tbh!

I'm always surprised that people have so many problems with FB, tbh. It is what it is. I've never had to defriend someone, I've never had an argument with someone on FB, I've had to delete a couple of my mum's posts on my wall, but tbf, she's my riskiest FB friend!

I think people take FB waaaaay to seriously!

*too

Maybe you were facing a different angle from the one in your profile picture, and so she didn't recognise you?

I think some people have a compulsion to "befriend" everyone that crosses their path, so to speak. These are often the same people who have very many alleged friends and can tell you exactly how many - usually in the hundreds. But their definition of friendship probably doesn't veer away from the virtual so in RL they don't behave in the way you'd expect from a friend.

I've got increasingly selective. I'm tired of reading posts that make my blood boil or watch nasty, inevitable, arguments unfold so I'm working on the "less is more" principle so far as FB is concerned now.

A lot of people on my FB get bemused when I walk past but partial sight covers a multitude of sins.

Personally I am really, really rubbish at face recognition and if I see someone outside their usual environment, (eg a mum I usually see at a coffee morning in the doctors or hairdressers instead) I might be likely to blank them too, or (worse) stare hard at them when I thought they wren't looking to try to work out if I knew them, then quickly look away when they looked at me, then do it again.

I know I have behaved a few times like you describe, especially since moving to a new place, so I always give people the benefit of the doubt on that one!

I know a couple of people who ask others to be friends (including brief acquaintances) to get a higher number of friends .

Some people (me included) find it quite easy to be friendly and chatty online, but due to shyness find it harder to make eye contact, smile, say hello and be chatty in real life. I'm more extrovert here than IRL as there is less worrying about what people think of you. Also like StellaNova I won't always be sure I've recognised the person. And sometimes if I am thinking a lot about something (even worrying about how to be sociable, ironically!) I will sometimes just walk past without noticing people. Definitely not purposely blanking anyone!

A lot of people only send friend requests to people to make themselves look more popular. Hence why you find yourself getting requests from your friends cousin's neighbour who you met once in passing six months ago. I tend to refuse requests like this because if I wouldn't talk to them in real life then why do I want them knowing all about me?

I'm a bit like that, I've had requests from FB friends of friends - people I've never met. I always ignore.

I have a friend who never rejects friend requests from people like this he just leaves them in limbo. He says that whereas most people pride themselves on the number of friends, he prides himself on the number of people who want to be friends with him but about whom he's ambivalent!

i think its because people want to be nosey even if they don't really like you

i do it too i am afraid, i have "friends" on fb i can't stand ....

I deleted a friend a few weeks back because of this , I have known her since school she found me requested me all was lovely , met her at a charity night said Hi and walked away she is quick to like status or comment , but not even chat when were are in the same place , i couldnt defriend her quick enough ,